Dercum's Disease Support Group

i just now found my password to get in here so i could post again. when my computer was having some issues a few weeks ago i reset everything and emptied the cache. and i lost all of my passwords. this unfortunately was one of the one's i had no remembrance of. but i found it in a email i sent nathan so if i did ever forget he would have it for me. man i am so glad i did that!

I have missed you all. and i see we have had some interesting conversations and some new members..... WELCOME TO ALL THE NEWBIES.

well if you are on my facebook then you know how my life has been going the last few weeks. if not. it is a lot to write. lol. not able to try to get pregnant right now. that had to be put on the back burner for now till i get my period back on a reg. schedule again! UGH! SO NO CLOMID FOR A WHILE. but i know everything happens for a reason. and i am not as upset about it as i was when i was first told. Nathan and i have been enjoying our fair that is here for this week. started on friday. his company does the electric work. so he works some of the nights till closing and i just go have fun. didn't use my cane the first 2 nights... was in a good bit of pain. but i used it the 3rd night. we skipped monday night. we were both just tired. Nathan bought me a baby bunny on sunday night! she is 8 weeks old. she weighs 4 pounds. we named her Dutchess. she is precious. zelda and Dallas are going crazy. lol

back to the fair tomorrow night! this is one of my favorite things to do in the summer!

have had some family parties and have been injured. fell into the water getting into a paddle boat hit the pier on the way down. still have some bruises from that. had a passing out issue again a couple weeks ago at my friend's baby's first b-day party. the e.r. said i had vertigo. but my family dr. said it is most likely from so much blood loss from my wacky periods. i did the birth control for 10 days like i was suppose to.. to make my period stop until it was due to come back in august. the day i took my last pill it came back! since may i have had only had 19 days where i have not bled! but i am trying to not be so out of it. and i am trying to keep my energy level up the best i can. i think i am doing a pretty good job considering.

i have been having a lot of bad dreams lately. and if you don't know.... i am a lil bit of what you would call a person with psychic ability. I AM KNOWN AS A EMOTIONAL INTUITIVE. i have this 1 that i have had for years though. whenever a person who is close to me in connection somewhere. friend or family. that is going to die. i have a dream. i call it the death dream. because it isn't like the death dream everyone talks about having 1 or 2 times in there life. but whenever i have this dream some one dies with in 24 hours of me having this dream. it has never failed. i had it the other night. and it was so bad i called my dad at 2:25am and then i had to call my mom mom to make sure she answered. cause i really believed it would be her. idk why. but everything was telling me it was her. so far know one i know has passed. for the first in years! and i am so thankful. but the dreams have just been very crazy lately and i have had to do searches online for people that i don't even have contact with anymore just to see what i could find. i always find them and see that there going through a really bad time. but idk why i am having the dreams if there not in my life anymore. that is the part i can't figure out! like 2 ex boyfriend's. an a person who i now consider an ex friend. and have for a couple of years now. then i had this dream on sunday morning that really bothered me. i was sick, in the hospital, and a dr. decided i would be all better if he just removed all of my tumors! so he took all of them out while i was wide awake!!!!!! i felt it all!!! i had gaping wholes all over me! i woke up and i just screamed. SCARED NATHAN TO DO DEATH! but when i told him..... he understood why i screamed. it didn't bother me as much as the death dream cause i was still waiting. but now it bothers me! cause when i usually have dreams about being sick and dreams about my tumors i start growing a bunch more and i get really bad off into a flare. i also have insomnia..... so with that and then the dreams. it has been rough trying to sleep. a few people have told me i should go check myself into the hospital psych ward and get some meds and rest.

what do you think??????

WOW! Dawn, I'm glad you checked in - I was wondering about you! Have seen you on Facebook though so knew you are more or less okay. Bunny is very cute!

Interesting dilemma about what to do... Obviously you need to get some good restful sleep. Do you have a doc who prescribes meds for that? Can you try that first? Are you on antidepressants or other psych meds? I take xanax before bed or I tend to have nightmares. Not as bad as yours! If you have a doctor you feel comfortable with, why don't you talk this over with her/him?

The one about the holes is really interesting!!! Maybe you just want them to be gone?

You definitely have some health challenges! Sounds like you need to get some things stopped like the bleeding and no sleep and others may correct after that.

Keep me posted!

Hugs,

Diane

hey Diane, i take antidepressants... i take celexa. but i don't like to take it. and my family dr. knows that. so when he gave me the prescription for it he made me promise to take it for 2 weeks to get it working in my system. and then only take it as needed. i used to be on paxil and i really didn't like that 1. so i did it the same way. i was on xanax before that but that was only for a few weeks from the e.r. till the family dr. put me on paxil. and that was because i had a panic attack. and i had never had 1 before that. but i agree yes i was depressed at that time. it was almost christmas. and it was my first christmas with out my pop pop. my job was giving me a hard time about being sick and missing days. nathan and i were newlyweds. and we were broke. it was just a lot going on. and i was sick and my body just put me into a panic attack. it was pretty scary. i had never had 1 before. and i thought i was dying.

but right now i don't feel depressed. and i am actually happier then i have been in a while. just things going on of course. bills that never stop cause of my medical stuff. and trying to get the car back on the road. but it has been so much better around here since Nathan went back to work. we aren't up each other's butt all the time so we aren't arguing. i am able to get things done around here when i am capable,i haven't been going to my friend's house or texting with her hardly at all. so i am not stressing over her stuff. cause her stuff is never ending drama.

so i am just wondering why in the world the dreams are hitting me like this now. especially about people i don't even talk to. and why the death dream if no one has passed away. i mean yeah when i looked up my 2 ex's i did see that they were going through a lot of bad things, so i wasn't wrong in my dreams of them. but if they aren't connected to me anymore then why in the world would i have a dream about them now!? and as far as the tumor dreams..... my mom said it is probably because when i went to the dentist i didn't get numb and i felt the whole thing this last time and in my head it just put it as my tumors and not my mouth. BUT I DON'T KNOW.

i really don't trust my dr. as far talking to him about my dreams because i never have before and if i tell him i am an emotional intuitive he will probably look at me like i am crazy and just put me in the psych ward anyway. so i am really at a loss of what to do.

but thanks

Dawn

Hey Dawn!

I meant talk to your doc about your nightmares and anxiety attacks. Don't tell him what they are - just say they are scary and wake you up and are causing anxiety. I think I just told mine I had dreams about being attacked. Which is usually the form my nightmares take. Maybe you are just more likely to have bad dreams because of everything you've been going through lately and they don't mean the same as they usually do.

That DOES make sense about the dentist and what happened and transferring that to the body. I swear sometimes we have to really think about it from all angles to figure out what might have caused it. I try to forget mine as soon as I can come up with some calming reason for it!

Hopefully some good solid sleep will help all around.

Hugs for you!

Diane

well i haven't had any anxiety attacks.... not for a couple of years. the nightmares is what i mean when i say i don't trust him enough to talk to him about it.. he will look at me like i am crazy and i will be put in the psych ward. i hope you right..... a good solid sleep helping.

thanks

Hugs

<3

Dawn

wow well i can't believe know one on here besides Diane is chiming in. we all usually do. lol. it is now almost 3 am thursday morning. and i am wide awake! tired. but can't sleep. went to the fair on wednesday evening for the monster trucks. it was a nice evening till we had to leave early cause of my pain. i just could not sit on that bleacher any longer. really shouldn't of went though. nathan didn't have to work it, and i was tired, and we are broke till he get's paid on friday. and we have so much to do around here. but i figured i have never gotten to see a monster truck thing before other then on tv. so why not. at least we don't have to pay to get in. cause if we did we wouldn't of been able to go. we decided to call the new bunny Dutchess. my brother gave me a cage. she loves it.

still have no clue of what to do about the not sleeping,and the dreams........ i really really don't trust my dr. when it comes to this stuff. so any suggestion would be helpful

The monster truck thing is a blast! I've seen it in person a few times and on tv. I don't know why that so fascinates the city girl (who drives a pickup and LOVES John Deere!) but it does.

Dawn, don't you think he would help if you told him you have had nightmares and need something to calm you at bedtime? Don't give specifics. I guess he could react badly. I am fortunate that mone gives me the benefit of the doubt because strange stuff pops out of my mouth regularly! My best one was last time when I said "I need you to be my partner. I need you to keep me from killing myself!" He reacted. I said "Not THAT way. I need you to keep me from mixing meds and hurting myself." I would just love to see his personal notes from our appointments. I'm sure there are some doozies.

Anyway... have you tried traditional things to help you sleep? Milk and crackers? Turkey? A warm bath? Cuddling in a very soft blanket? White noise? There are some herbal things, too but don't take those if you take other things. Don't watch scary stuff or read scary stuff before bed. Don't drink a lot of caffeine. I know - probably all things you've done. If not, give some a try. For you the whole key is robably going to be to break the cycle. Once you can't sleep, you get more tired and then you worry and you don't sleep and you get stressed and it just keeps on. I was that way after my knee replacement. I finally had my doc give me some sleep meds. Once I was able to sleep a couple of days I was able to more or less get back on track.

Dawn, you're right. People are VERY quiet right now!!! Sylvia, Celeste, Shelli, Teresa.... all busy with those dang farms!!!! COME BACK YOU GUYS!!!!

Take care and here's a hug!

Diane

LOL you are so funny Diane! Dawn, I get bad anxiety attacks too. I am taking Cymbalta for pain and anxiety. It has been a up and down with it. I am sorry you go thru that, I would not want to wish that on my worst enemy. I have been more wanting to stay inside and not go anywhere. Worse that it was before. I do know Valerian Root is a natural sedative, in the vitamin section and works well for me and my husband to sleep. Make sure you have 8 hours to sleep though! I always forget and then realize i have to wake up in 4 hours and don't have enough time. Just a warning it smells awful but it works great!

You know what is a really fun time? Having a panick attack while you have acupuncture needles in you and cannot move and you feel as though you are getting no oxygen because you are hyperventilating. Good times!

I get them all the time. For some reason bright lights set me off (stores and flourescent lights). They are horrible. I do not take anything for them because 10 years ago I was on 10 different medications and went to therapy to work through my anxiety. It works and some of the exercises he showed me I still do, but I am getting a lot more anxiety again and I am up to 12 different medications so what would one more do???

Oh, and I have not farmed in a few months. Now I am Frontiering

LOL WOW! well i don't farm either.... i frontier!!!!!!!!

thanks 4 the suggestions..... and turkey?????? are you trying to kill me Diane?? lol if i eat turkey i will swell up look like i am 9 months pregnant and go into a huge flare! i drank milk last night,early this morning and i did go to sleep. but here is the other down side to all of this. once i fall asleep i sleep so long...... and i sleep the day away. and then i am up all night again. and while i am asleep i am having horrible dreams that i can't wake up from till something makes me wake up. i would really like to go talk to someone. someone who can't pass judgement and is just there. but i can't afford it. but i know i need it. i've needed it since i was a kid. i have a lot built up inside from when i was a kid..... things that happened. and nathan has wanted me to go talk to someone since before we got married too but he knows we can't afford it.