MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
10/13/2009 11:48 AM

I'm new and love a very depressed man

devinpa
Posts: 4
Member

Hey all,

I met this wonderful man several months ago. Right from the beginning he told me he was suffering from depression and unable to work. He was hospitalized for his depression is taking meds. We have a completely open and honest relationship. We both have been burned pretty bad in the past, and are taking this relationship SLOWLY and letting it build on trust, communication, honesty. When we ar together, he doesn't feel his illness, and I certainly don't feel it. He has indicated he's very scared and wants me to be patient; however, he's also told me not to wait for him cause he's not sure what he's capable of giving me. Already, he's given me so much. Just the openiness and the honestly...he's a wonderful man. We have a lot of fun together and care deeply for each other.

Question/problem. Last week, he was in a group session and all his issues/problems/ugliness in the past came crashing down on him. We were suppose to see each other over the weekend, but he said his illness has gotten the best of him and he will contact me when he can. I had made a promise to him that I will be patient...and I will not turn my back on him. I've been sending him emails...not asking to see him, but more letting him know that he is loved, he matters, and I have faith in him. My question is, is this the right thing to do or should I back off. I've told him that I don't expect him to answer, but I send him emails just so he knows I'm there for him. I just don't want him to feel overwhelmed or like I'm pushing him.

I've dealt with my own depression in the past and I'm completely off meds. I don't judge him. I love him for who he is and I understand his illness...but I just want to make sure I'm not being too much.

Thoughts?

Reply

10/13/2009 01:28 PM
scotty04901
scotty04901  
Posts: 2579
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Kimmy, By all means, keep letting him know you are there if he needs you.Other than that, give him what he is asking for...space and time. He sounds like he may have been burned and as a result he may well be " Gun Shy ".

10/20/2009 12:20 PM
devinpa
Posts: 4
Member

Quick update: Apparently, the daily emails of encouragement and support work! He emailed me and thanked me for all the emails and being there for him. He asked me if he can attend my church with me on Sunday! I never have asked him, but I do love my church. I'm a little nervous about it, church is such an emotional and spiritual thing for me. Never thought of sharing it with him, but I'm thinking this will not only bring us closer together, but it will also help him. So, if anyone else is in similar situation, the emails and words or encouragement seem to be a really good thing...thanks Scotty for the advice.

10/20/2009 02:32 PM
scotty04901
scotty04901  
Posts: 2579
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

You made me cry...lol...and these were tears I needed...once of joy

Post edited by: scotty04901, at: 10/20/2009 02:33 PM

Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved