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04/03/2012 10:40 PM

advice needed- boyfriend has depression

Sunshine90
Posts: 5
New Member

Hi,

I live with my boyfriend of just over a year, when we got together he told me he suffered from depression for a while previously but had no sign of it for about 5 years. So the relationship was great until recently, just after christmas he had an anxiety attack in the middle of the night and then got depressed, he dealt with it pretty well and told me straight away he needed to see a doctor!

The doctor put him on anti depressants and since then he has not had any anxiety attacks and has seemed happier in himself! However..

He shows very little if any affection towards me anymore, we kiss when he leaves for work and if i ask for a kiss i get one.. But it isnt passionate! We do have the occasional cuddle but that is it and i dont even know the last time we were intimate. he tells me he loves me everyday and i belive that he does, he just doesnt show it.

I have mentioned the intimacy thing to him and he just says that he doesnt feel up to it and that the tablets have made him lose his sex drive completely.. Which i have read is a common side effect so i understand.

A few weeks back i went away for a few days and when i returned i was tidying the bedroom and found a sticky sock (sorry to be gross) and it upset me to know that he could masterbate but couldnt touch me! Since then i can stop thinking that he doesnt love me, why doesnt he want to touch me, he doesnt find me sexy, will he find someone he is more attracted too ect.

I love him more than anything and would really like to try and understand better. I dont want to lose him but at the moment i am struggling to deal with the depression.. Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated!

X

Smile

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04/04/2012 07:42 AM
QuietDesperation
QuietDesperation  
Posts: 333
Member

HI Sunshine, I to take anti-depressants that have all but taken away my sex drive, I still love my wife very much as I'm sure he loves you and finds you attractive. The reason he can masturbate but doesn't make love to you is because masturbation is mechanical, no passion needed. I would rather no touch my wife than to touch her in a mechanical way. I think that would make her feel less loved and desired if we had sex with no passion. I hope this makes sense? pm me if you wanta talk

04/04/2012 08:08 AM
Sunshine90
Posts: 5
New Member

Thanyou very much for taking the time to reply to my post, i really apreciate it! It is increadably comforting to know that it is not just him that has those side effects! I try my hardest to understand the side effects of the meds but it is hard at times not to take things personally if that makes sense! Because of your reply i now understand why and that makes me feel alot better! So thankyou again Smile
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