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Depression Support Group
Depression Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with Depression, together.
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10/15/2008 03:38
jveinott08
Posts: 1
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 Hi my name is Jennifer, I'm 30 yrs old and a mother to 4 children, but two of them live with me. I have a boyfriend whom I have been with for a year and a half. Our relationship like all others have their ups and downs, but I have noticed that since having my fourth and last child that post partum depression has set in really bad. I was put on Zoloft and I am wondering if it's strong enough. My boyfriend and I were doing really well until he started working. I stay at home with my children and I just feel so overwelmed trying to keep up with the normal household chores and he works graveyard shift so when he comes home all he wants to do is sleep and I'm so tired by the end of the day it just seems I'm not getting enough sleep. Well up til about a week ago, things were good then he went to a friends house that he works with, he didn't even tell me he was going until he walked out the door with no explanation, but said he'd be home by 6. He didn't come home til 9. Well all day long I cried and cried cause I hate arguing with him, but it seems that since my son was born that's all we do. And my boyfriend has an issue with communication. He dont' like to talk and he likes to run from all his problems in life. Then last week he said he needed a break and he left for work and would call once a day to check on me and the kids. Then Wednesday came he was supposed to come home and sent me a text message at 2 am and said he needed one more day and I bawled and cried some more. I felt so lonely. Then Thursday came last week and I got the same answer again. Finally on Friday of last week he came home. And he has back problems from a kidney disease he has. He kept complaining of his back hurting and his stomach being upset. So I let him sleep all weekend a friend of ours took our daughter to make it easier. Well Sunday night we are laying in bed and everytime I touched him he would move away from me. I felt like I did something wrong, but didn't know what. Well that's when he decided to lay it on me that he doesnt' know if he wants to be with me and that he's not sure if he loves me anymore. Of course any womans instinct is to cry. Well thats all I did and there was like no emotion in his face what so ever. He's like I love you but I don't he's like when we fight and you bitch non stop he said I dont' love you, then he brought up about leaving and needing another break and that just upset me even more. I mean we have fought over the fact of him not helping me around the house with stuff, money issues, and bills. And his usual response is well I can quit and you can go to work if that makes it easier. The biggest thing with him and I is to slam each other with the past I know it's not healthy nor a good thing to do, but I do it cause it's the only way he responds to me is yelling and holloring at me. Well I called a councelor through tri county mental health and I have an assessment on the 21st, but it seems like he's just giving up and i've been so depressed about life and everything in general I'm afraid I'm gonna lose him. He doesnt' hold me anymore, doesn't kiss me nor does he say he loves me. I keep telling him to give a chance to prove that I can change with some help with counceling, but it's like it's easier for him to just give up and not work things out. I can't take it much more. I feel like I'm gonna fall apart. Someone please give me some advice I dont' know what to do.
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10/16/2008 18:46
Mishy
Silver Ribbon
Posts: 164
Group Leader

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 Hi Jennifer,

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. You might want to discuss with your dr. about raising your dosage asap or changing it because you should have some relief by now from it.

It seems to me that you and your boyfriend need to develop better communication with each other. I kind of didn't understand your wording, correct me if i am wrong, he yells and hollers at you, so you bring up the past in order to defend yourself against it?

It sounds like he is very angry right now and when we are angry we are not seeing things clearly and its easier to turn our backs to things which are troubling us. I think it is wonderful that you have made an appointment to see a counselor. That is a step in the right direction. Give him some time to cool off. We all say things sometimes in the heat of the moment that we don't mean. You have less than a week before your initial appointment. Please let me know how things are going with you.I am sorry I don't have much advice to give you, but I am a good listener. If you need to talk, feel free to PM me.

I hope things start to get better for you.

Take care,

Mishy

WELCOME TO THE GROUP!!
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11/01/2008 09:38
zeethrewme
Black Ribbon
Posts: 79
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 Hi. My husband and I went through similar situation a year ago. When I had my 3rd child, we grew even farther apart. Eventually I wanted a divorce because he too has communication problems, which is why I am joining this group. I was overwhelmed. I have a job outside the home as well as being a full time mother. It can be overwhelming when you children are young too and rely so much on you for their daily routines. My son is seven now and is has become more self sufficient and helpful around the house. Don't be afraid to assign them chores and lay down the rules. I find that helps a lot. I have to send them to their room sometime for peace of mind. They don't always have to play in the living room. Anyways, I told my husband if we could not get counseling and he did not communicate I felt like a single mother anyways and sometimes it can be better to not drag yourself through that emotional windmill each day. Unfortunately we ended up having to separate in order for him to take my needs seriously. It helped a lot for awhile but it is starting to trickle backwards now. You are doing the right thing by seeking help though. It is very overwhelming being a mother of multiple children and not receiving any acknowledgment in return. I know you are working hard to keep a nice environment for your children but taking care of yourself is extremely important too. As mothers we are the example that gives them strength and hope. They see you getting the help you need and that means you are not giving up hope and that's being good to your self and good to them. Good Luck.
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11/02/2008 23:29
Chanda
Green Ribbon
Posts: 1176
Group Leader

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 So sorry, everyone has gave you some good advice, I will be praying for you and thinking of you. Hang in there!
If you ever need me & im not on here, try my yahoo IM- Babygirlluv1978 or my email babygirlluv1978@yahoo.com, or also im play pogo alot at pogo.com, my name is cdm62108
Groups I am In:
ADHD Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/adhd-because my lil girl has ADHD
Anxiety Disorders Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/anxiety-disorders- because I have anxiety
Depression Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/depression - because I have depression
Insomnia Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/insomnia - because sometimes I cant sleep
Neurofibromatosis Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/neurofibromatosis- because my 2 nephews have NF
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/obsessive-compulsive-disorder- because I have OCD
Panic Attacks Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/panic-attacks- because I have severe panic attacks
Self Esteem & Positive Thinking Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/positive-thinking- because I try to stay positive
Shyness Support Group, http://www.mdjunction.com/shyness- because my hubby is shy
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**** I HAVE PICTURES, I LOVE PICS.!!!****
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*Cast all you anxiety on (God), because he cares for you. I Peter 5:7
*I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.- Phil 4:13
*So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.- Isaiah 41:10
*For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. - Isaiah 41:13
*"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6
*Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.- Psalm 23:4
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