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Nita28 Posts: 2
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I think it might help to talk to someone and maybe some will understand and offer suggestions to help? I am 81, was married 45 yrs, and he died in 1993. My parents were dead, grandparents dead, brother dead, 3 sons grown and gone. Suddenly I was alone and lost in the world. I can't get past this void I feel. My sons all seem to avoid me. My one grandson avoids me also. I have lost all interest in life. I feel guilty for being so negative because I realize there are others much worse off, but I just can't pull myself out of this self pity. |
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littlelake62
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Hi Nita, I am sure you will get lots of welcomes here. I understand how you feel my father is 80 this year and I can tell he is also sounding kind of like you do. So my heart goes out to you. Everyone here is very nice. If you ever need to chat I will be on from time to time through out the day. Its not self pity you just need to get out of the slump it will happen. Just keep talking {{{HUGS}}} Renee |
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Nita28 Posts: 2
New Member
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Thanks Renee, it really takes courage to get old and have so many health problems and feel so alone. I pray a lot, but nothing really seems to help. I wish I had gone with my husband because it is no fun alone. But God had other plans for me I suppose. I tried to put my picture but it was rejected, saying it was too large, so I don't know how to make it smaller. |
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littlelake62
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I have no idea how I got that picture of me up their eather just luck. When some of the others get on I am sure they can help you with that. I think God also has plans for me I am not sure what they are yet but some day. wish I could help with the pick. |
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Sylvia4648 Posts: 5136
Group Leader
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Hi Nita and welcome to our group. I am sorry that you need us but glad that you found us. We are a warm, welcoming bunch and are glad to have you with us as we enter this new year. I wish I had some magic words for you, but I ran out. Have you spoken w/ your doctor about how you feel? It is, unfortunately, not uncommon for seniors to suffer from depression, so you certainly won't shock him/her. An antidepressant might be of help. 45 years is a long time to be married, and I know that one doesn't 'get over' that kind of loss; but I'm guessing you've moved away from your husband's death being the focus of your mind. One good thing you can do for yourself is to begin posting when you're ready. It helps to get things out to people who understand, and we do understand. I also can relate to the problems w/ your kids. I'm not quite your age, but my children deserted me and took the grandkids along; so I do know that pain, and it's a hard one to work thru. Maybe we can help each other.  Warm welcoming wishes, Sylvia 'I didn't have time to write a short [post].' Mark Twain wrote that one for me. LOL
'Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.'
'Life is what's happening while we are busy making other plans.'
NOTE: I can't imagine anyone is surprised that distracted driving has overtaken drunk driving as the number one cause of death on the road. Please, y'all, keep your eyes sharp when you drive. The guy in the next car could be on a computer in the dash board (whoever dreamed that up should have to watch autopsies), while the one behind you is texting. It's important to be aware of those around you. The kid who ended my second to last life was in a huge SUV and on the telephone.
I am not a medical practitioner. I speak only from personal experience. Please do not interpret anything I say as medical advice. |
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Sylvia4648 Posts: 5136
Group Leader
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Hi Nita and welcome to our group. I am sorry that you need us but glad that you found us. We are a warm, welcoming bunch and are glad to have you with us as we enter this new year. I wish I had some magic words for you, but I ran out. Have you spoken w/ your doctor about how you feel? It is, unfortunately, not uncommon for seniors to suffer from depression, so you certainly won't shock him/her. An antidepressant might be of help. 45 years is a long time to be married, and I know that one doesn't 'get over' that kind of loss; but I'm guessing you've moved away from your husband's death being the focus of your mind. One good thing you can do for yourself is to begin posting when you're ready. It helps to get things out to people who understand, and we do understand. I also can relate to the problems w/ your kids. I'm not quite your age, but my children deserted me and took the grandkids along; so I do know that pain, and it's a hard one to work thru. Maybe we can help each other. I know that to put your picture up you need to reduce the resolution, but you need someone w/ more computer knowledge than I to tell you how. Someone will come along who knows. If not, please send me a private message (PM) by clicking on send a PM next to any of my posts and I will work on finding out how you can reduce the resolution. Warm welcoming wishes, Sylvia 'I didn't have time to write a short [post].' Mark Twain wrote that one for me. LOL
'Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.'
'Life is what's happening while we are busy making other plans.'
NOTE: I can't imagine anyone is surprised that distracted driving has overtaken drunk driving as the number one cause of death on the road. Please, y'all, keep your eyes sharp when you drive. The guy in the next car could be on a computer in the dash board (whoever dreamed that up should have to watch autopsies), while the one behind you is texting. It's important to be aware of those around you. The kid who ended my second to last life was in a huge SUV and on the telephone.
I am not a medical practitioner. I speak only from personal experience. Please do not interpret anything I say as medical advice. |
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mitzigirl Posts: 11513
Group Leader
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Hello Nita welcome to our depression group it is great to have you here with us. Age surely doesn't matter here at all. Depression is depression no matter what age we are. My name is Viv and it is really nice to meet you. I know you must be lonely hang around here and you want be lonely much longer. THis is a wonderful caring group of people and we are glad you found us. You talk and share what you feel like as we will with you. Thats what we are all here for.. Many blessings to you! Hugs and Blessings,
Viv
Live everyday as if it might be your last.
Let go and Let God!!!
Be Kind and Compassionate to others.
Understand life can be hard but you can survive it!
Good Friends make all the difference in the World.
Even though I am a leader of depression, OCD and MRSA I am just like the rest of you..I have the problems. I have no medical training. |
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Peace4Rach Posts: 8879
Group Leader
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Hi Nita, Welcome. I'm so sorry for the many losses I hear in your post and that certainly can contribute to depression. Being left alone by all is what all of us fear and what can and does happen in families and it's the saddest thing to hear and go through. Suddenly, you wake up and realize where is everyone. All that have passed and gone and then those in the family who are getting on with their lives and seem to not be concerned about anything else. When I lost my mother unexpectedly, she was 65. I felt like a part of me died too. I am not alone but sometimes feel alone, even with others around. The worst part for me, was that when mom died some of my family siblings disconnected and the family has nearly fell apart. No one hardly sees each other anymore. I don't know. Maybe something that happens when persons in a family die. So very sad because I value family and I believe families should stick together and be there for one another. Nita, warmest welcome to you and may you find this group a place of comfort, support and understanding. Hugs, Rachele Having the courage to walk step by step each day.
May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind always be on your back.
May the sun lie warm upon your face.
And until we meet again,
May the Lord hold you
In the hollow of His hand.
Im loving memory of my mom, 2007: My hero, The Wind Beneath My Wings
Peace4Rach-Bereavement and Depression Group Leader
PS: I am one of you and hurt too. Not a medical doctor, so be sure to check with a professional for medical or expert advice. |
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