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05/21/2008 23:12
kirjerwhite
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 Ok so I finally got some good news. Or at least it was kinda good news. My husband Is staying in the same house as me for a few nights. But for some reason I am still unhappy. I have all this anger towards him. Like I know he gets up at 4am but when he leaves me up sitting alone with out even as much as a good night kiss i just want to smack him. Or how he is here but he has been on the phone with his mother most of the night when he could have been spending time with our daughters and myself or at least helping out with the girls so i could rest a little since i only sleep like two hours a night now. I am so angry with him i could just scream. So i angry i could cry. I thought him being here would make me happy but its not. Why can't i be happy even when something good happens? I love my husband and my children but I'm so angry and Sad. I have so many feelings running through my body and mind that its making me even more upset. I just want to be happy but i guess i don't know how. Well if someone could give me a little input on this it would be great cuz i don't think i can go through this much longer before I do something i will regret.
The underdog of motherhood Kirstie
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05/22/2008 00:13
BreezyAngel
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 Take a deep breath...If it's possible for you to talk with your husband about how you feel it would help. He probably has no idea; often times they don't..I know they should, but the truth is they just are blind to the fact and need to be told. I know that with depression and anger go hand and hand and that is big factor too and it seems as though you are feeling resentment. If you can't talk to him without losing control, maybe write him a letter and hand it too him, that works for some people. I know I have a hard time expressing how I feel and I am better at it through letters and it comes out much better and not so bitter. Just a thought.

Please just take a breather..maybe when the kids are asleep. Take a nice hot bath and just calm your mind. I do that ever so often too, especially when my mind is on overload with thoughts. I did read in another post that you made or rather finally got an appointment for a doctor and that is going to help out tremendously. Keep journaling and reaching out for help here and anywhere you can get it. You will get through this, take it day by day and sometime even minute by minute is what it takes.

Lots of hugs and prayers.
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05/22/2008 05:25
mamanordy
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 You know sometimes when we wish for things to happen, we build up in our minds how it is going to be and when it doesnt work out that way we are disapointed. I am like that with a lot of things.

If he is back home tonight, I would ask him to please spend the time he has with you and the kids, not on the phone. And to pls wake you up when he leaves so you can give him a kiss and see him off, that those things are important to YOU. Like breezy said sometimes they just dont know (in my experience most times they dont know )

Hope all goes well for you.
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05/22/2008 10:00
kirjerwhite
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 Thank you all for your support, it has been very helpful for me to come talk here so that i don't have near as much on my mind. As for my husband I have tried to tell him but I don't think he understands. I don't know if I am explaining myself the right way or if he isn't listening or maybe he just can't understand me. I know he has alot on his mind but right now I just need him to understand that i really need him right now and I need him to help with the girls in the evening because that is my worst time. Well i need to go make something for lunch thank you all once again.
The underdog of motherhood Kirstie
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05/22/2008 10:15
lostgurl
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 many of us are stuck in the quandry of wondering why our hubbies/wives don't show us the attention we feel they should. i agree that it could be they just don't know how their behavior affects you. but i also agree that some just aren't built that way. like my son and hubby. to try and get them to show any possitive affection would be like pounding your head into the wall. that doesn't mean they are horrible mean people, they are just not emotional. they feel a compliment on cooking is an "i love you".

all we can do is our best by telling them (non-accusingly) that you wish you could spend more time together as a couple, you really miss the kisses good night, etc. be careful to criticize the problem and not the person.



Doesn't everyone deserve true love?
for story behind this pic:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/6404425.stm
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05/27/2008 23:20
kirjerwhite
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 Well its offical I have given up on my marriage. I am sleeping on the couch and my husband has the bed upstairs and he doesn't even care! I have tried everything to make him understand and nothing is changing. I think I will be leaving to go home this friday. And I don't think I will come back this time. I am tired of him never putting his family first even when his wife(me)is on the verge of hurting herself because she can't take it any more. I told him tonight that things had to change and that I was tired of him lying to me and all he said was well its not going to change tonight. So I asked him to tell me the truth about the things he had been lying about and he sit there and asked why. I told him that if he ever wanted our marriage to work and for him to regain my trust it is what needed to happen he just sit there and said I haven't been lying. But yet I caught him lying to me. Am I doing the right thing by leaving him when I have two children with him. I can't work things out with someone who doesn't want to make an effort. I've tried and I'm tired of trying and crying. I just want to be happy. For myself and for my kids sake.
The underdog of motherhood Kirstie
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05/28/2008 06:59
mamanordy
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 Kirstie, I think maybe a separation might do you and he good. Maybe he will have some time to think about things when you are not in the picture. He will end up missing you and the girls. And it will give you time to see what you really want to do for yours and your girls future. I am sorry it is not working out. But if you have caught him in lies and he is telling you he didnt lie then he has some growing up to do. Let me know if you need to talk. PM me anytime.

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05/28/2008 11:26
lostgurl
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 kirstie, only you can say whether leaving your husband is the right thing or not. but i can tell you that staying in a marriage "for the kids" is almost always more harmful to the children that it is beneficial. plus your children deserve a healthy/happy mom. can you every truly be happy with your husband?


Doesn't everyone deserve true love?
for story behind this pic:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/6404425.stm
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