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09/06/2009 03:13 PM
Capricorn
Capricorn
 
Posts: 26
Member

My hubby and my best friend have hooked up. Her husband died 4 months ago. Is this going to last between them or is it the two of them just dealing with their loss? My hubby and I will be married 16 years on the 10th of Oct. He won't talk to me as to how this happened, what do I do?
Reply

09/06/2009 04:49 PM  Top
mitzigirl
mitzigirl
 
Posts: 11502
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hello Capricorn it is nice to meet you Welcome to our depression group..

I am Viv and this is a hard one my husband left me for what I thought was a best friend after 17 yrs of marriage..

This is a hard situation and there is no telling whether it will last or not but I do know this is not fair to you..I finally moved on and mine didn't stay with her but we didnt get back together either...Either way we are here for you..Feel free to talk and share with us...

Hugs and Blessings,
Viv

Live everyday as if it might be your last.
Let go and Let God!!!
Be Kind and Compassionate to others.
Understand life can be hard but you can survive it!
Good Friends make all the difference in the World.

Even though I am a leader of depression, OCD and MRSA I am just like the rest of you..I have the problems. I have no medical training.

Previous discussions I participated in:
Hello,I'm new here...
Newbie
Just over another bout.

09/06/2009 07:12 PM  Top
Sylvia4648
Sylvia4648
 
Posts: 5133
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hi Capricorn, I am so sorry that you are having this awful experience. I would say the question you need to ask yourself is not whether he will stay w/ her but how you feel about what's going on and if you could live w/ what happened if you got back together w/ your husband.

Just something to think about.

Welcome to the group. There are a lot of helpful, supportive people here.

Sylvia

'I didn't have time to write a short [post].' Mark Twain wrote that one for me. LOL
'Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.'
'Life is what's happening while we are busy making other plans.'

NOTE: I can't imagine anyone is surprised that distracted driving has overtaken drunk driving as the number one cause of death on the road. Please, y'all, keep your eyes sharp when you drive. The guy in the next car could be on a computer in the dash board (whoever dreamed that up should have to watch autopsies), while the one behind you is texting. It's important to be aware of those around you. The kid who ended my second to last life was in a huge SUV and on the telephone.

I am not a medical practitioner. I speak only from personal experience. Please do not interpret anything I say as medical advice.

09/12/2009 09:14 PM  Top
Supportless

I agree with Sylvia on this one. Can you live with what he did to you? Nice to meet you and we are here for you,,,,,,,Karen

09/13/2009 09:28 AM  Top
Peace4Rach
Peace4Rach
 
Posts: 8872
Group Leader

Wow, that's are a hard one to experience Capricorn. I can only imagine the pain you feel over this. Grief takes a person by surprise like an ambush and the person who is left alone, feels they cannot bare the loss or lonlieness. That doesn't change what is happening. I would say that it's important for those who are grieving to get the support and help they need before turning to others and a relationship. No less with your husband. You may have to sit him down and talk with him or get the help of a professional relationship counselor. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Having the courage to walk step by step each day.

May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind always be on your back.
May the sun lie warm upon your face.
And until we meet again,
May the Lord hold you
In the hollow of His hand.

Im loving memory of my mom, 2007: My hero, The Wind Beneath My Wings


Peace4Rach-Bereavement and Depression Group Leader
PS: I am one of you and hurt too. Not a medical doctor, so be sure to check with a professional for medical or expert advice.

Previous discussions I participated in:
losin it
Hello Insomniacs
New to the group

09/13/2009 10:23 AM  Top
catiana
catianaPosts: 600
Member

what?they hooked up and ur just calm about it?ur still amrried to him right living together?how did u find out?u jsut sound so calm about it like "i wonder if it will last"????aren't u anrgy upset disgustedBlink she was a best friend???woow so ur still best friends??Shocked

09/13/2009 10:40 AM  Top
Capricorn
Capricorn
 
Posts: 26
Member

no we are not still friends and I am devistated over this. He wont even talk to me about it I see a lawyer this thursday.

09/13/2009 10:51 AM  Top
catiana
catianaPosts: 600
Member

oh sorry hun but it's better this way they probably desearve each other if they were able to betray you like this..it's really so sad after 16 years i know it must feel devastating..but just think hunny if they are happy and don't care enough about u now to even speak to you..are you gonna give them the satisfaction of suffering over this?why cry for someone who doesn't love you or wants you around it this worth it?again i understand u must feel devastated but u have to get over this there's no way you can go back now

09/13/2009 02:44 PM  Top
mitzigirl
mitzigirl
 
Posts: 11502
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I understand this is devastating to you right now..That definatley was no friend anyhow..Friends would never betray you like this..
Hugs and Blessings,
Viv

Live everyday as if it might be your last.
Let go and Let God!!!
Be Kind and Compassionate to others.
Understand life can be hard but you can survive it!
Good Friends make all the difference in the World.

Even though I am a leader of depression, OCD and MRSA I am just like the rest of you..I have the problems. I have no medical training.

Previous discussions I participated in:
Hello,I'm new here...
Newbie
Just over another bout.

09/13/2009 03:08 PM  Top
Sylvia4648
Sylvia4648
 
Posts: 5133
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hi Capricorn, I am so sorry that things are not working out as you'd hoped. But if they are going to continue to be together I think seeing a lawyer is what you need to do to take care of yourself. And I am proud of you for doing it.

Do you have kids?

I hope things work out in the end. I'm sure you know that you need time to grieve the relationship. 16 years is a long time. So be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel what you feel.

I have been divorced for over 30 years, but the circumstances were different, so I can't say I know how you feel, but I do know the pain of any divorce.

If you'd like to talk, feel free to PM me at any time. I will get back as soon as I can.

Sylvia

'I didn't have time to write a short [post].' Mark Twain wrote that one for me. LOL
'Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.'
'Life is what's happening while we are busy making other plans.'

NOTE: I can't imagine anyone is surprised that distracted driving has overtaken drunk driving as the number one cause of death on the road. Please, y'all, keep your eyes sharp when you drive. The guy in the next car could be on a computer in the dash board (whoever dreamed that up should have to watch autopsies), while the one behind you is texting. It's important to be aware of those around you. The kid who ended my second to last life was in a huge SUV and on the telephone.

I am not a medical practitioner. I speak only from personal experience. Please do not interpret anything I say as medical advice.
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