Lostgurl, Mindy just reminded me. If you go to the ER of any hospital that takes any federal funds (which is almost every hospital in the country), they must see you even if you've never had a buck to your name and have no insurance. If anything you try ends up costing you, please contact me, if you'd like (write down my name or something for a pm) before you pay anything. Things are different in different states, but the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act is federal. I just had $20,000 in co-pays totally written off just by knowing what rights I had. They don't expect you to know. They just weren't ready for me.
But if you have charges and write to me, I can give you some tips on what to try.
As for no hope, I've suffered from depression off and on since I was 3. In 1983 things got tough w/ my health (another $13,000 in bills that cost me $100, which my bro sent me), and my depression was as bad as it had ever been. I ended up taking an antidepressant for a few months before I reacted to it (I react to everything; nobody compare your side effects to mine). Unfortunately I also put on 100 lbs.
Meanwhile, 17 years ago I had bilateral foot surgery and the doc cut the nerves in my feet leaving me w/ permanent neuropathy. Agony, but I was looking for a job. My doc told me to apply for SSD, and I told him they'd never give it to me at whatever age I was just because seeing my cane abruptly ends all interviews. Five years after the operations, when the pain was beginning, very slowly, to go into remission, I got rammed by a guy in a very large SUV. He was on my tail when he realized the light was red, and he panicked and slammed on his gas pedal. THEN I was truly unable to work. And I should have listened to my doc because the SSD is retroactive to one's first application; I'd have had five more years pay up front. Oh well, spilled milk.
For the last 17 years things have been going downhill very quickly, and I've not had a break in the depression. However, I get diarrhea from almost every med on the market - no matter the use. We've tried, in the past, about 2 dozen of the 'new' (i.e., since Prozac) antidepressants. I think my max was 3 days before it became evident that we either quit or I dehydrate.
I've been thinking of the S word for a long time. I figured I've noting left to live for, I'll never feel better, can't take meds for almost any of my conditions, and will never tolerate an antidepressant. Still, I was thinking, not acting.
Well, three weeks ago I told my doc that since I was tolerating a painkiller I couldn't tolerate two years ago, and a new drug I'd never tried before, and if I don't get help I might not make it, I thought it was time to try another antidepressant. I told him I wanted the mildest one he could find that didn't tend to cause weight gain. MIRACLE! Remember, a month ago I had no hope of anything. I'm well into my third week on this, and so far (fingers x'd) I'm tolerating it well w/ only one extra dose of my diarrhea meds on most days. I'm waiting for the antidepressant features to set in, but we know that can be as long as six weeks. And my doc says if I tolerate it, it will ease all of the pain that's caused by nerve damage - which is a lot of my pain.
So there's some totally unexpected hope.
One more resource you might try. My state has a 211 referral line. I think all states have them, but I don't think they're all 211. So dial 211 and if it's not a referral line, call info and ask for your state's general referral number. They might have some services that could help you get the care you need. Help's usually there; just takes a lot of work to find it sometimes.
I wish you well. And if you feel like you're going to act on your suicidal thoughts, please go to an ER, a mental unit, call 911, the national suicide hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE, or look for a list of hotlines in the first few pages of your phone book. If you get the referral line, you might also ask them for 'warm lines'. Those are for if you just need someone to talk to but are not suicide lines. They may be in the first few pages of the phone book also.
Hope there was something useful in there. Please, lostgurl, let us know how you're doing. We care.
Good luck.
Sylvia
Post edited by: Sylvia4648, at: 05/28/2010 10:33 PM
Post edited by: Sylvia4648, at: 05/28/2010 10:37 PM
'I didn't have time to write a short [post].' Mark Twain wrote that one for me. LOL
'Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.'
'Life is what's happening while we are busy making other plans.'
NOTE: I can't imagine anyone is surprised that distracted driving has overtaken drunk driving as the number one cause of death on the road. Please, y'all, keep your eyes sharp when you drive. The guy in the next car could be on a computer in the dash board (whoever dreamed that up should have to watch autopsies), while the one behind you is texting. It's important to be aware of those around you. The kid who ended my second to last life was in a huge SUV and on the telephone.
I am not a medical practitioner. I speak only from personal experience. Please do not interpret anything I say as medical advice.
