Good morning to y'all. (Who would have believed those words could come from me?) I am on my way to bed.
I used to go from one website to another looking for the same meds. Some have the same material, some are made for the average guy, some for medical people, etc. I used to have favorite drug sites, but I now use Google as a jumping up point. The info that comes up gives us more variety than reading only one site, and getting to the sites via Google saves having to start over to get to another med site. I looked up benzodiazipines - what all of the meds discussed above are - on Google and was gob-smacked. There used to be a handful of choices and the list that came up was staggering. It looked like about 25 meds, tho I didn't count, and those who know me, know what my vision's like when I'm awake, never mind asleep.
All benzos can be addictive. That was not a put-down. I have taken valium for longer than I can remember, tho until my whole body went into constant pain everywhere and I can take only one pain med which is not the best, I take valium if the pain is too severe. I use as many 2's as I can stick w/ during the day and have a higher dose for bedtime. Other than bedtime, I do not take the 2's every day. Now I take them and, as Cynthia said, am glad they're here for us. Other than the klonipin I may or may not have taken when my kidneys almost failed, I'd never taken klonopin - I never even heard of it. I say maybe because my mind flew the coop w/ my kidneys (somehing I didn't know was common). I remember about 15 seconds when the EMT's came to my bed. I remember about 10 seconds in hospital. I was so far gone I thought there was someone on my right but was too week to move my head and passed out immediately anyway. A friend was there.
Cynthia, I do not agree w/ your flippant attitude of if they're there, take them. W. many long term meds, doctors like to occasionally see how well they are working. BTW, before I saw the list of benzos, I thought there were 3 or 4.
I learned just yesterday than that the odd level of my conscious mind was protecting me a lot more than I'd realized. After all I wasn't there. My doc told the attending not to give me any med unless it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY TO SAVE MY LIFE. For those who don't know me, I can take 7 or 8 meds of any kind. I have to juggle them to get the best relief I can have. My doc of 33 years, in which he spoiled me rotten, except for things like antibiotics, he'd write the rx's and I got used to what would best help any given problem. We always discussed pros and cons of trying any new drug. When I told him what reactions things were having, he'd tell me to flush. I have a huge number of pain conditions and severe chronic depression. I had my first depressive attack when I was 3. Since them, when I was younger and a lot healthier than I am now, I sometimes had years of remission. But this bout is in it's 19th year. Jim - usually totally optimist says they will not come up w/ NY nriviorixI've had some serious medical problems in that time, and I'm sure y'all can guess there are no antidepressants in my tolerable meds.
The attending ignored everything Jim told him and almost immediately began giving me meds, meds and more meds - maybe 30 in 10 days - not all at the same time. If this bastard hadn't done what he did, I'd be in a lot better shape than I am now. He was, however, trying to kill me. I've no idea why, but when we got the records, my doc said my mind was right. I'd have been dead w/in 12 hours if I handn't finaly refused all meds. There's no question I was talking, and sometimes even making sense, but I remember none of it. When I asked Jim why there was a group of doctors trying to kill me, he said he didn't think it started out that way. The only totallly honest doc who will never lie to protect a fellow MD just retired. My system is totally insane. Jim is the first to say that he has absolutely no idea how anything in my system works. He just listens to symptoms, guesses what's wrong (I think he MAY have been off twice. One thing he missed was totally mild - even for me; and it was his insistence - which happened only that time, that he didn't tell me to flush whatever 'hit' me. This time he kept begging me to take the med that I kept telling him was doing weird things to my mind. He had me crush them and take a crumb. Somedays I did, but mostly not because I knew something serious was going on. The damned mild anti-anxiety (not the reason he gave it to me). I lost any sense of time on this weak med. I thought we'd been arguing for about a month and it turned out it was 7 months.
Sorry. Since the repercussions of a bunch of docrors who, as I said, simply ignored Jim, I almost died. He is one of the few docs in the dozens I've seen (moving, refusing to hold onto incompetence of the kind that others don't realize is there. My system is so sensitive I got seriously ill w/in 5 minutes of turning on the heat where I worked. The person across the hall said she didn' smell gas. I said neithr did I, but I tasted it, my throat felt like it was burning from the inside out, the whites of my eyes were Totally red - not just veins; it looked like fingrnail polish. I turned off the heat. Next day same thing, only this time there were 3 people telling me I was crazy. I told them I'd taken a very long time to figure out that what I hear, feel, anything that has to do w/ our 5 senses affects me in ways no doctor has believed. If I had to give up all the meds but one, I'd live; I'd just be in too much pain to want to. One, however, took us 10 years to find, and w/o it I would not live. Jim called dozens of doctors and found one who actually listened as Jim explained why I have to have this med. He's okm but he's not Jim. But he does house calls only. Since it's not safe for me to walk the steps, and I produce awful fibro flares when I go out, I don't go out. The new doc keeps changing his mind about how much of my med he will allow.
As was mentioned above, there is one huge difference I know of between addictetion and chemical dependence is that, I am absolutely physically dependant on this med, but I see only one doc, take only the amount of that one med we agreed on (the others nobody undestands why they help, but since they don't make me sick and I am not addicted to either of the ones that can be addictive (forgot valium). If I was, I'd most likely not be here because there are only so many doctors one can visit for the same med before an alarm goes off in the FDA. I went to an NA meeting out of curiousity, and WOW! am I not addicted. The people talked about how they kept finding different doctors, stealing rx pads, learned to codes for calling in meds (for my one major med the doc can call in only a 3 day supply); but that gives me time to receive the rx and get it filled.
The point is, I've occasionaly had situations where I had to have more of the med, but only for a short time. The amounts of meds these people took were like Viv's pulse=ox (sorry my sister; I'm groggy and that was the best example to appear). Their systems somehow did not give in to those taking over 100 meds - all in handfuls - each day and survive. I know we build up tolerance, and those who are addicted don't care. As long as they can get their hands on hundreds of, some controlled drugs and some narcotics was staggering. I left after about 20 minutes. When these people were giving, in detail, what they did to get their drug(s) of choice I felt sick. I also knew that I am not addicted. I've taken, as I said, roughly the same amount for over 20 years.
Sorry Jodie. Not sure that had to do w/ your question, but I hope it's helpful to you or anyone else. The benzos are somehow different in many ways. Valium is one of the most addictive - again, I take the same amounts and often fewer because I don't take what I need. When I asked Jim what klonipin was and how it differed from valium, he said the klonipin has a shorter half-life, so it's better for reducing from other benzos.
I agree w/ Cynthis w/ a caveat: you can decide what's working best for you, but you may not find a doctor who agrees. A few places I've lived these drugs were handed out like M&M's. But in this place, I went thru 7 peds in 2 1/2 years because none of them had a clue about what they were doing. If my cousin couldn't diagnose, quickly and w/ very litle info my son would have died when he was 3 1/2. Having spent some tiem w/ Jeff when I was in the hospital, Jim agrees w/ all of my dx's of my son. My daughter is simply cruel, evil, until she cut me off, she and I seemed to outdo the Gilmore Girls. But I've been been playing w/ a lot of puzzles in my mind lately, and I realized they'd both been doing evil, cruel, nasty things to me for years. I am the only member I've ever heard of in my family who does not suffer from serious dential, but obviously I was, on some level, choosing not to know what was going on.
As I said, I've many physical conditions and depression, and only one of my few meds is used for what it's actually made for. Wonders never cease!
If anyone wants clarification, more info, just to talk, to vent, feel free to pm me. Just know that I keep very odd hours and may take a day or two to get online.
The story of what happened to me would take hours. But I've given you some info. The worst repercussions for some other tiem, but the total repercussions took away any reason I had to live. I'm ever hopeful when I go to bed I won't wake up. I am NOR talking about taking my life; but I wouldn't mind if someone else does.
Welcome to all newbies. I hope that we will be able to give you the support you need and look forward to getting to know y'all.
Peace,
Sylvia
p.s. put up my disclaimer when newbies come on. I used to be a great typist, proofer and writer, but now I'm lucky to stay on any topic long enough to get out why I'm here. Besides everythng else, my vision is weakening quickly. Am going to have to hope I've some useful clothing my children didn'd get rid of. There was nothing edible except a shaker of poulty seasoning. Everything in the kitchen was gone. And I am not going into this topic. My back wouldn't let me type for a day or two. BOTTOM LINE: please forgive typos and other errors. This is the woman who retypd a whole page because a comma was in the wrong place. I am more realiztic now - not to mention spell=check on many sites, I've learned that I do not have to be perfect.
'I didn't have time to write a short [post].' Mark Twain wrote that one for me. LOL
'Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.'
'Life is what's happening while we are busy making other plans.'
NOTE: I can't imagine anyone is surprised that distracted driving has overtaken drunk driving as the number one cause of death on the road. Please, y'all, keep your eyes sharp when you drive. The guy in the next car could be on a computer in the dash board (whoever dreamed that up should have to watch autopsies), while the one behind you is texting. It's important to be aware of those around you. The kid who ended my second to last life was in a huge SUV and on the telephone.
I am not a medical practitioner. I speak only from personal experience. Please do not interpret anything I say as medical advice.
Thanks for sharing
