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angelbaby28 Posts: 377
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Iv been feeling so low since friday 19 January, i just pushed it aside thou trying to go on with every day things. then saturday my phone got stolen out of my pocket. I am so upset i mean how could i have not felt someone touching me(that is the worst part) i feel violated, kind of a little fragile, how dare someone touch me or any of my stuff without me knowing?Iv got a thing about people coming into my personal space and i feel invaded. i know its just a phone and could have been worse but i feel so awful. This feeling started on friday allready, its like i knew something bad was going to happen. I really had high expectations going into 2012, was so positive, then things just started going wrong, alot of things actually. its like every day theres something new happening.I can mention a few, a friend had a heart attack, my apartment overflowed with water and i lost a lot of belongings, i got so upset the one day i hit the wall and injured my wrist, im not finding a job, i dont have money(but the church is helping with food rent etc). I nearly got attacked by a man this morning waiting for a lift to church. Iv tried speaking to some of the church members and all they telling me is to pray?!.I cant do this anymore, im done, i cant snap out of this,i feel stuck all i want to do is sleep and that i cant even do, all i can do is cry most of the time.Last night it felt like i couldnt breath like something was suffocating me.I feel trapped in my own world BipolarII borderline and depression
Lamictal 200mg (mood stabilizer)
Cipramil 40mg (depression)
Seroquel (150mg)(depression)
enalapril 10mg (for high blood pressure)
Zopiclone ( i only take this when its really necessary)
I am not a doctor or Psych,the comments given is purely from my own experience
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Angelface08 Posts: 218
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Hey Angelbaby, I'm sorry to hear that you have had such a rough start to your year. I wish I could help you with all of it.Have you tried yoga it take the negative energy out of you. You can find the exercises online. Once Ihe feel balanced on the inside it really helps me. I have epilepsy,Myasthenia gravis,ADHD,Asthma,HSV, recovered ED, free of abuse, HSV and depression. I wont be a victim of abuse.
“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babve, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe
“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
Mother Teresa
My advice is all from personal experience I am not a doctor, do not substitute this for medical advice :) |
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angelbaby28 Posts: 377
Member
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Thanks Angel, yes i do try and excersize but here in SA its about 30-35 degrees in the day tried going for a walk the other day but nearly passed out from the heat.Best thing iv tried was doing the excersize in the pool which is much more managble and cooler. BipolarII borderline and depression
Lamictal 200mg (mood stabilizer)
Cipramil 40mg (depression)
Seroquel (150mg)(depression)
enalapril 10mg (for high blood pressure)
Zopiclone ( i only take this when its really necessary)
I am not a doctor or Psych,the comments given is purely from my own experience |
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Peace4Rach Posts: 8872
Group Leader
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Hi AngelB, I'm sorry this happened to you all at once. Seems like when it rains it pours and it's easy to really feel trapped by it all. Being violated can really have an affect and I understand how upsetting that must have been. Yes, alot of bad things recently. It's not so easy to dust yourself off and feel ok again but take some deep breaks, give it a little time and allow those postive thoughts to come back to mind again. Don't think the negative thoughts, it only makes things worse. You have it in you, the power to think positive and it will be ok, just give yourself some time. If you need help, it's ok and we are here to listen. Sending hugs your way. Rachele Having the courage to walk step by step each day.
May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind always be on your back.
May the sun lie warm upon your face.
And until we meet again,
May the Lord hold you
In the hollow of His hand.
Im loving memory of my mom, 2007: My hero, The Wind Beneath My Wings
Peace4Rach-Bereavement and Depression Group Leader
PS: I am one of you and hurt too. Not a medical doctor, so be sure to check with a professional for medical or expert advice. |
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angelbaby28 Posts: 377
Member
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Thanks Lil got so much racing thoughts at the moment even started taking my sleeping tablets again, went out to get my phone sorted out today, now im back to the old age times as iv only got a spare, very old phone.but hey atleast iv got one!Got such a headache think its just because im thinking to much..if that makes sense BipolarII borderline and depression
Lamictal 200mg (mood stabilizer)
Cipramil 40mg (depression)
Seroquel (150mg)(depression)
enalapril 10mg (for high blood pressure)
Zopiclone ( i only take this when its really necessary)
I am not a doctor or Psych,the comments given is purely from my own experience |
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lealor Posts: 63
Member
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Hi I had a breakdown on december 4th and lost my job - - not just another job - - my dream job. Only had a few months of no depression but the stress knocked me down...really hard. I have tried sooo many things to beat this but i am going to tell you my friend..........do not fight it...accept that you have this going on right now, and do the best to rememeber that this will pass...i promise you.. yoga, exercise and better eating really does help..praying, journaling and remembering things to be greatful for every night has helped me ( and i have not washed my hair in 8 days)!!!! this is a very bad spell for me, so please know you are not alone, i almost killed myself a few weeks ago and i realize how many people would trade me places to be alive and PYSICALLY well... there are great positive websites for affirmations to help with some positive words, i put post it notes up and even though i am dark and depressed, i make myself say them aloud there is a reason for our suffering - perhaps it is to have compassion for others, or to help others in the future...there is always light at the end of the tunnel - - - - i know this to be true xoxox |
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angelbaby28 Posts: 377
Member
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I have a link to a site God devine, which is very inspirational, sometimes sad but the message is always beautiful and inspirational, cried my heart out yesterday (actually all day)and today i feel like i can pick my head up again.Yes positive affirmations do work so well and helps alot.I watched the one video yesterday about a girl that wanted to kill herself and then from out of the blue became so sick and is paralized from the neck down she cant even breath by herself.Now she says she wants to live and prove that life is worth living.Sometimes it takes a shock for us to realise what we have. Here's the link if anyone would like to watch some videos i promise you wont be disapointed. http://www.godvine.com/ BipolarII borderline and depression
Lamictal 200mg (mood stabilizer)
Cipramil 40mg (depression)
Seroquel (150mg)(depression)
enalapril 10mg (for high blood pressure)
Zopiclone ( i only take this when its really necessary)
I am not a doctor or Psych,the comments given is purely from my own experience |
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Sylvia4648 Posts: 5133
Group Leader
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Hi all, I am sorry that everybody is having such a hard time. I am also. I'm about to enter my 19th year of a constantly downward spiraling depression. New things keep happening that make things worse. I cannot imagine any light at the end of this spiral. First I had a doctor cut the nerves on the bottoms of both feet, and to make thhings more exciting, I do not heal from surgery. Because of my fibro I overproduce adhesions scar tissue), and the pain seems endless. I lost my job - which I'd had for about 7 years. I occasional called the whole experience my phoenix. The woman who had the job before me knew nothing, and since I worked for a non-profit, those who paid me were making their own money elsewhere. So I had to take her ashes and create a useful position. And I did. Now the best thing I've done was to stop a bill about the be passed by the NJ legislature before anyone found out about it. It would have cost innumerable lives from drunk driving crashes w/ kids drinking. It's too long to explain, but w/ nobody knowing, I'd been in my job for awhile and had my sources. Then I went to war, and w/ pride for all the lives I helped save,I believe that is my crowning glory. Believe me, AngelB you are not alone. I was in the position you're in w/ two kids to feed and a roof kept over their kids. But I agree w/ Rach, you've got to give yourself some time to heal on all fronts. For now, do what you're able. Add another thing tomorrow, they can be as simple as brushing your teeth, putting clean sheets on your bed. anything you are capable of. And Teddy is praying for you to be feeling better emotionlly when your wrist is healed. Also, pick-pockete know their stuff. More than likely nobody touched anything but your phone. I don't mean to say it is not upsetting. It's always painful when odd things that we feel as attacks happen. All I'm trying to say is that you were probably not touched. I hope that helps a little bit. I'm sure you've read my insane story w/ the hospitals, my kids, etc. The whole world is screwed up. What makes us any different? I too am glad you're getting help from the church. Try to relax by keeping your thoughts on anything but where your brain wants to go. Watch movies, tv, read a book, look for things you like to do in the computer. But please do not put yourself down for the way you are feeling. You got too much thrown at you w/o time to heal from any of it. Believe me, I am in the same kind of situation now, and as I said, have been here w/ 2 kids. Just do the best you can, and we'll all hope that you heal - both inside and out before too long. Here's hoping we all feel better soon. Or for me a better way of expressing that is L'Chaim - the Hebrew toast. It means TO LIFE. And I hope we all make it w/ smiling faces one of these days. Take good care of yourselves and don't rush healing, Sylvia 'I didn't have time to write a short [post].' Mark Twain wrote that one for me. LOL
'Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.'
'Life is what's happening while we are busy making other plans.'
NOTE: I can't imagine anyone is surprised that distracted driving has overtaken drunk driving as the number one cause of death on the road. Please, y'all, keep your eyes sharp when you drive. The guy in the next car could be on a computer in the dash board (whoever dreamed that up should have to watch autopsies), while the one behind you is texting. It's important to be aware of those around you. The kid who ended my second to last life was in a huge SUV and on the telephone.
I am not a medical practitioner. I speak only from personal experience. Please do not interpret anything I say as medical advice. |
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angelbaby28 Posts: 377
Member
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THanks Sylvia such caring words, i think of you often, iv read you posts and some messages between the two of us and all i can say is iv got alot of respect for you for going thru this and although you may feel at times that you not coping, know that people like me look to you as an inspiration BipolarII borderline and depression
Lamictal 200mg (mood stabilizer)
Cipramil 40mg (depression)
Seroquel (150mg)(depression)
enalapril 10mg (for high blood pressure)
Zopiclone ( i only take this when its really necessary)
I am not a doctor or Psych,the comments given is purely from my own experience |
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Sylvia4648 Posts: 5133
Group Leader
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Thanks, Sweetie, you brought tears to my eyes - and not the bad kind of tears. You really are a sweetheart. And you are not only coping, but doing a much better job of it than I/ Fondly, Sylvia p.s. I printed your post for when I need to be reminded that I'm still good for something. Thank you for your lovely words. I haven't gone to bed from last night - 45 minutes on the show I'm watching. My get the hell off the computer and relax before bed time. Glad it wasn't off yet. But now I shall sign off. Back probably late afternoon or evening. Y'all do quite well w/o leaders. (Tho I will be up sd leader as soon as I get my blurb to Roy. Maybe I'll send him your post. Get some sleep! 'I didn't have time to write a short [post].' Mark Twain wrote that one for me. LOL
'Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise.'
'Life is what's happening while we are busy making other plans.'
NOTE: I can't imagine anyone is surprised that distracted driving has overtaken drunk driving as the number one cause of death on the road. Please, y'all, keep your eyes sharp when you drive. The guy in the next car could be on a computer in the dash board (whoever dreamed that up should have to watch autopsies), while the one behind you is texting. It's important to be aware of those around you. The kid who ended my second to last life was in a huge SUV and on the telephone.
I am not a medical practitioner. I speak only from personal experience. Please do not interpret anything I say as medical advice. |
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