Depression Support Group

....I'm just going through a time where the pain and anxiety is causing me to eat a lot. This is sooo funy because before I have been throwing up my food and starving to lose weight. Now I'm binging...lol

I'm just going through a lot with problems financially and in my relationship. I'm so lonely too.

I applied for SSD and I'm just waiting my 120 days now. still hoping I make it into a low income program to get hospital care.

Yeah me too. Join the club of needing to loose weight cause of emotional eating and and binging. That's what I do when I'm anxious and stressed out. Food is a temporary comfort and a hard thing to get under control. Stress would certainly do it for you. Some problems don't get solved as quickly as we would like but I try to find some solution, answer or someone to help me deal with an issue. Then I try to leave it in the hands of professionals and I just followup. Then on to the next issue. It's never easy though, I know. Hugs to you, hang in there. Rachele

Hi Chill, sorry things seem so tough right now. I hope you get your disability. Do you have a lawyer on the case? I've had SSD for years, and I don't know if things have changed or if I forget (another side effect from all those meds was that I lost literally large pieces of my memory which I am told by the only doc I trust to be honest w/ me, bouts of traumatic amnesia might as well be written off. The memories do not come back. And I lost large chunks of time before I went to the hospital. I finally put 2+2 together and got 5. Most of anyhing done for or to in any hospital took away something else I needed or added something else I didn't need. But the initial cause of the black-outs was a very mild anti-anxiety drug. I kept telling Jim I couldn't explain it, but my mind was not working properly. I finally had some concrete info that allowed me to look back and see that the black-outs were going on for 7 months, and most of that time I was taking literally 1-2 crumbs after smashing them w/ a hammer. And I didn't even take the crumbs regularly. I couldn't stand what was being done to me. I must be the most responsible person on earth. When I was about 3 weeks away from the meds and things became clearer, I suddenly realized that I'd paid no bills in 2 months. I called my auto insurer and told my agent the check was overdo because I was in the hospital. She said she thouht it had been paid. She checked and said it was paid early. I asked her who paid it, and she said I did. Until I was taken out of here, I was paying all bills online as I always do. I ordered a few items, but they were things I needed and in my usual price range - and no more than I could pay when the bill came. I just had no idea I'd ordered them. And if my computer guy hadn't told me where the brand new computer still boxed came from, I would never have known. The brats took the older computer for 'safe keeping' which, in English, they wanted to destroy another 15 years of my life. My daughter sent it back in a box about six times the size of the computer w/o even one token piece of newspapaper on it. The hard drive, not meant, of course, to be tossed around, could simply not be opened.

What do you mean by the 120 days? I may have waited for it also, but I don't remember ever hearing of any specific waiting period for anything except for a few months wait to get Medicare. What kind of low income medical care are you talking about? Please keep us updated. My Teddy will pray for everything to turn out well for you.

Peace,

Sylvia

Hi Chill, how are you? It's good to have you w/ us. I've been on SSD for about 10 years and so many things have changed names, initials, whatever they can do to make us Boomers have to wait for 'regular' Social Security. Well I didn't feel like a drain on the ecomony when they LOANED me $210 per month + some small amount of food stamps - that program has a new name also. It took a few minutes of reading to finally find the info I wanted to see, and I've still not figured out how they are going to save a fortune while not cuttting Social Security at a time when the largest generation in the history of our country is turning 65 w/in the next few years, starting w/ this year. calendar says the first of us are old enough for SS this year.

Chill, binging may not be all that healthy, but I'd say it sounds better than purging. I came w/in about an hour of death in 1982. I'd been sick for a year w/ things that could not be tied together, and nobody could figure out what was going on. When I entered the hospital weighing 96 lbs and came home weighing 96 lbs and my doc and I were having screaming fights. He'd tell me I had to eat and I'd tell him I WAS eating, he'd say if I was eating I'd be gaining weight, and on it went. I was pouring whole cans of Ensure into a blender, adding anything I could think of to gain weight - ice cream, banannas, raw eggs (guess I'd have to leave that one out now), I don't remember any other things, but they were going down, and I couldn't figure out how I wasn't gaining weight. Finally I, for the first time, realized that things like calories didn't matter to my body. I was drinking and the stuff was so toxic in my system it was going right thru w/o even stopping to leave extra weight.

Having been on the other side, I am more able to live w/ my overweight now. I gained almost 100 lbs from an old tricyclic antidepressant, then called Jim and told him I was not going for 200. He told me how to wean, and I did well until a few years later when my health problems became much worse, and now I'm in the 18th year of a depressive bout that is eased only once ever few months when my aide brings me her niece. I love little ones and have what seems to be an inability to be depressed around babies and young kids. This child is amazing. She was about 18 months the first time she came. She got up from where Dorothy had put her down and ran straight to my open arms, crawled carefully into my lap - it was as if she knew I couldn't lift her - gave me a giant hug, took her tiny hand on my chin and moved my head so she could give me a big kiss, then she put her head down on my shoulder and went to sleep.. I told Dorothy it was as if she was saying her work here was finished and it zapped all of her strength. She woke in 10 minutes and we had a lovely time. She's a happy, bubbly, obiously secure child. When we can't get together, sometimes I call her. The last visit was about 3 weeks ao. But the last time I talked to her on the phone before that, she told me she was a baby when I saw her, but she's a big girl now. So when she climbed up, I patted her tush and, acting surprised, asked her what happened to her diaper. She said she'd told me on the phone that she is a big girl now. Indeed she did.

She and I are plotting to get her mom to bring her, and to get her mom to get her 2 year old picture taken before she turns 3. She's the best gift anybody can give me since I lost my granddaughters. For those of you who don't know me, by lost I do no mean they are no longer in the world; they are just not allowed to talk to or visit me. My son said I am dangerous and he can't take any chance of what I say that will hurt her. I'm sure he thinks I'll tell her what jerks both of her parents are, but I would never do anything to hurt my girls. I just hope he has somehow learned to control his emper or , heaven forbid, the day he hits a bit to hard for a small child could be it. I think of them less and less but want them w/ me more and more.

Let us know what happens, Chill.

Peace,

Sylvia

Try Zoloft. It's totally destroying my appetite lol.

Welcome to the group Jack! I am sorry that you need us but glad that you found us. Please give us a little bit of your story when you're ready. We sometimes have helpful info that others don't, just as others have info on things we don't.

Jack, please feel free to post whatever you like, and I hope you find the support you seek.

Warm welcoming wishes,

Sylvia

A warm welcome to the group, Jack. Feel free to look at other threads or post one of your own. Rachele