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05/16/2011 06:54 PM

worse day on a long time

paullaramee
paullaramee  
Posts: 61
Member

man I feel bad, out of meds, real dizzy and depressed.
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05/16/2011 08:09 PM
Sylvia4648
Sylvia4648  
Posts: 5177
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I'm an Advocate

Paul, you were feeling better last week. What has changed? And why are you out of meds? You know you have to taper them down, not just stop them. I'm truly sorry; I have sometimes severe short-term memory problems, but weren't you just approved for SSD? I'd think that would help keep your spirits up. Tho if you've abruptly stopped any meds, you could feel as you do from w/drawal symptoms.

I hope you figure out what's going on. It's sad to see someone getting better to just turn around and feel worse. I realize that's part of the disease, but I was so hoping for you. Please keep us posted?

Sylvia


05/17/2011 07:57 AM
paullaramee
paullaramee  
Posts: 61
Member

I'm going to get a refill today. Getting SSD should keep my spirits up, but unfortunatly winning disability does not take my disorder away.

05/17/2011 08:09 AM
mem9113

getting ssd is a great thing because it means that you will receive funds to take care of expenses while you are ill and no it doesn't take your pain or illness away. I'm sorry your having such a bad day and hope it gets better!

05/17/2011 09:36 AM
Sylvia4648
Sylvia4648  
Posts: 5177
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I'm an Advocate

Hi Paul, I'm so glad I didn't have you confused w/ someone else. Lately I have days when I think my memory is getting better.

No, disability payments don't give any of us our health back, but it's a lot better than not eating and not paying bills. I hope you feel better when you go back on your meds. I'm relieved to know you are not giving them up.

I think trying to take one day at a time is a great plan. Too bad it's easier said than done. Feel better, my friend, and please keep us posted?

Peace,

Sylvia


05/17/2011 03:42 PM
CrazyCat
CrazyCat  
Posts: 1527
Senior Member

I am glad and you are right doesn't take it away but it will help you make things easier. Glad you are getting your meds filled and hope you start feeling better.

05/17/2011 06:27 PM
paullaramee
paullaramee  
Posts: 61
Member

I know, but my money has not come in yet, so that stress is not gone. I just have alot of fears that will not go away. I need a vacation where noone knows me. i feel like crying, but have nothing to cry about. so sad

05/17/2011 06:44 PM
CrazyCat
CrazyCat  
Posts: 1527
Senior Member

That makes sense, wish you weren't stressing yourself out because that isn't helping. I have a lot of fears but try to tell myself everything is going to work out. Sorry you are so sad.

05/17/2011 06:51 PM
paullaramee
paullaramee  
Posts: 61
Member

i know, but I keep telling myself " what if they don't "

05/17/2011 07:51 PM
Sylvia4648
Sylvia4648  
Posts: 5177
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Paul, your SSD has been approved. It is very likely that you will receive the money fairly quickly. Did you set it up as direct deposit? If so, it should come more quickly than if they have to write a check; but still it should be in your hands shortly. I see my somewhat younger self in you. They used to call me the 'yes, but' kid. It took most of my life, but I've finally started actually paying attention to advice and sorting out what makes sense. A friend who's always finding things that are going to clear up my long list of medical problems once wrote a message telling me she found something that would help me - powerlifting. I wasn't even sure what it was, so I looked it up. I couldn't have done that when I was 20 and not in constant pain. My doctor had to put the phone down from laughing too hard when I read her note to him. Obvioulsy, that kind of advice gets a 'yes, but' that's a reasonable response. I truly believe she is frustrated because we've known each other for about 25 years, and she really wants to help. But it's very hard to help when one's system is so screwed that anything that should help causes severe, sometimes lethal, side effects.

Still, Paul, try reading what we are writing and, if possible, keep yourself busy to keep your mind elsewhere, Do I remember corrctly that you've a household full of kids? If that's the case, play w/ them, sit and watch them play, take them for walks.

Nothing will ease my depression when it's this bad except a little one. Between birth and about 5. Since they aren't exactly breaking down my door, I don't see many little ones. My aide has brought her niece a few times and was dumbfounded the first time when she put her down, I put out my arms, and her 18 month old niece came running into my arms, hugged me, kissed me, put her head on my shoulder and went to sleep. I was in love. I didn't feel any pain and the depression was in remission for the 3 hours she was here. Unfortunately, my aide works a full time job and does home health care for close to a full time number of hours. So it's hard for her to bring me the baby - who's now 2 - or as she told me, when I saw her she was a baby, but now she's a big girl.

I am also a Jewish mother, and breaking my mom's hold on that one was easy. My mother HAD to be worried. If there was nothing to worry about, she'd make something up. I wish I had nothing to worry about; but I've had periods in my life when there was nothing to worry about, and I assure you, I didn't make up any reasons.

Try taking one day at a time. Find something pleasant to do each day to take you mind away from worrying. Believe me I've done my share, and things turned out the same way they would have if I hadn't driven myself almost over the edge worrying.

Hope your money comes in and you feel better. And if you feel like crying, cry. Tears can help cleanse stress and worry.

Sylvia

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