Depression Support Group

I[i] can't seem to cope anymore with anything that upsets my routine. I am in so much pain every day. No matter how much pain meds. I take nothing helps. I don't sleep. When I am able to sleep it's only for a couple of hours. On top of everything else, I have had two cats pass away in the last 2 weeks. I know some people may think that I am crazy for being so upset over them, but one was 15 years old and they were my life. It's like losing a family member. I just don't feel like even trying to get out of bed anymore. Does the pain ever get any better? [/i]

I am sorry to hear of your losses. Our animals become part of the family and it hurts to lose one.

At present, I am taking care of my 11 year old poodle, who was dxed with severe heart disease a few weeks ago. All I can do for him is make his last days as comfortable as possible. His heart meds will only help awhile.

I understand how your grief...it is normal, dear, to grieve for any loved one. In time, it will ease.

Have you talked to doc about pain meds not working? Sometimes, all we need is to change them.

Hoping you find easement soon.

I understand how you feel about your cats - I unexpectedly lost my 9 year old cat this past July, and it was quite traumatic. He was my 16th birthday present from my parents, and although they told me I was not getting this kitten, I planned for him anyway and even made a list of names that I was considering for him. When I was hospitalized for almost a month less than a year later, I worried that I was losing quality bonding time with my kitten! The point is, you have every right to grieve for your cats, I know I did and I am still in the grieving process, but that feeling of "butterflies in the stomach" when you think about your losses will get better, I know mine have.

Hi Tina and welcome to the depression group. I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. I agree w/ bits that talking to your doctor about pain meds is a good idea. But are you on any antidepressant meds and/or in counseling? Depression makes all pain worse. It makes anything wrong w/ us worse. I'm so sorry that you have this disease but glad to have you in our family. The pain does get better when there is some control of the depression. Ideally an antidepressant and a therapist make a good combo. Many depression meds also have inate pain fighting ingredients, so you might want to ask you doc for one of those - if you're not already taking anything for depression. I looked at your profile. I've many of the same pain conditions you have, but we each have some things that the other doesn't.

I am sorry for your loss, and even tho I'm not an animal person, I know it hurts and that many people's pets are like family members. Give yourself time to grieve the loss.

When you look around and feel ready, post as you wish. If you want to tell us your story, we'd like to read it, but that's up to you. I look forward to getting to know you.

Warm welcoming wishes,

Sylvia

Post edited by: Sylvia4648, at: 12/27/2010 09:51 PM

Hello Kailur and welcome to the group. I think our posts were so close together that I didn't see yours before I posted mine. Anyway, I'm sorry you are depressed but glad that you've found us also. Please feel free to post at will, and if you'd like, tell us your story. But only if you feel comfortable doing so. I look forward to getting to know you also.

Warm welcoming wishes,

Sylvia

Hey you all! I am really glad to be able to talk to someone. First of all, I quit work 1 1/2 years ago as a Correctional Officer in a male prison. Not a glamorous job dealing with level 6 inmates, but one that I really loved. The pain, depression of "Fog" that I dealt with everyday got to the point that it was not safe for me or the people that I was working with. I knew that it had come to the time that I could not defend myself if attacked. I am on Cymbalta and have tried many meds. I am also on meds. for arthritis, diabetes, Fibro, high blood pressure. I know that I have been depressed for most of my life. Growing up with an alcoholic mother/brother. It's all I can do to move on most days. I am in chronic pain. The depression is bad. I am not at the point that I would want to die, but I just don't want to do anything anymore. It's like I am in my own little world now. I only have 5 family members left. That bothers me so much that I don't know how to handle it. I remember the good times with my Grandparents and aunts and uncles. I need knee surgery, but I don't have anyone that can help me after the surgery. I need to lose weight, but I can't walk. When does it every end? If it was not for being able to sit at the computer for a short time to type, I would have nothing.

Hi Tina, I am so sorry for all you're going thru. We have a lot in common. In 1995 I got fired from a job I loved. The reason was never clear, but I knew the underlying cause. I'd had surgery on both feet and couldn't walk well, but it did not keep me from doing a desk job. It sucks to be home all the time in pain and not wanting to do anything. Tho I don't mind taking care of my everyday needs when I can, I keep getting to new levels where I can do less than I could before, and it's frustrating and frightening. I am now at the point where I go for long periods w/o being able to type, and that frightens me beyond what most people can understand, tho of course you do. I would have nothing left if I lost the ability to type. I'm also at the point where I have a home health aide 3 hours a day twice a week. I can't change my bed. Last time I tried I passed out from the pain in my back. The only thing that helped was that I fell forward - onto the bed, so I wasn't hurt. I can rarely stand to wash dishes, and am too shaky to come out of the shower w/o someone here in case I fall.

Most of my family has died, and those who are left listen to my son's constant lies about me, so they ignore my existence. I've only one cousin and her grown children who even speak to me. My kids took my grandkids away from any contact w/ me.

Re the knee surgery, I had surgery on the nerves on the bottoms of both feet. I has nobody to stay w/ me, but I had a bunch of friends (all have since died or moved away) so that someone came every night and either brought in or cooked dinner. They did my shopping, took out the trash, etc. And they helped me set up my tea for the morning. The mailman came up every day (I lived on the 3rd floor) to bring my mail and to see how I was doing and if there was anything he could do for me. He was a really nice guy nd he did help w/ things occasionally. I also had an aide from a free service who came 3 times a week to help me shower. She changed my bed once a week for me, and best of all, she brought her lunch and visited for awhile. She said all of her other patients were too old to even carry on conversations. LOL I was in my 40's at the time. I wore huge tee shirts so it would be easier to use the loo. After every shower she'd start to roll up the shirt as you would if dressing a baby or an older person, and half-way thru the rolling process, every time, she'd throw the shirt at me and say that I could do that myself. LOL

I too need to lose weight and can't walk far. I was locked up illegally twice in mental units. The second time the so-called doctor forced me to take a medication contraindicated for every pain condition in my body (there are a number of them), and that side effect is permanent. I now live on the second floor and was mostly homebound before that med, but now I can only go out in dire emergencies. My hands are too weak to hold the banister. I put my arm against the wall to keep from falling once, and took off a whole layer of skin.

When does it get better? That is partly up to us. We have to keep trying to find the meds that do help, and try to change our attitudes - which is not easy. I'm still working on it. BTW, I've suffered from depression off and on since I was 3. My father died and nobody would tell me where he went.

If you need surgery and have no help, there are usually services available. We just need to find them. You might want to dial 211. In most states that is now a number for statewide referrals to whatever it is you need.

Take things one day at a time, and try to do as much for yourself as you can. If we don't do that, in spite of pain, we will lose the ability to do anything. The old 'use it or lose it'.

Please keep us posted on how you're doing. And if you want other referrals, ask and I'll see what I can dream up for you - and others will generally come around, and they may have helpful ideas. We do whatever we can to help support each other here.

Take care of yourself, Tina. I hope we all have a happier, healthier 2011.

Cheers, Sylvia

Boy do we have alot in common!!!! I live in a very small town. I only have 5 members of my family left and they all are sick except for my daughter. I try doing things, but with all that's wrong with me, I pay with pain. I don't like going to groups where there's alot of people talking. It makes me nervous and I can't walk or sit for any length of time. I wish that I could trade my body off for a new one. Ever feel that way? I like gardening and crafts, but lately I have been reading a lot and staying in my bedroom. The snow is flying today and it's cold. How's the weather where you're at? I wish that I felt like getting on the computer everyday, but I don't. I find myself sitting for too long. It's good to talk to you. I hope to talk to you ofter. God Bless and take care.

Tina

Tina, every night I ask my Teddy Bear why I can't have a new body. He never answers. It's also very lonely to live alone. I'm assuming you, too, live alone because you said there'd be nobody to help you after your surgery. If you are on SSD and Medicare, Medicare will pay 100% for home health aides, physical therapists, or whatever else they can for 6 weeks after discharge from a hospital. I now have aides from a county program. I pay 1% - generally under $5 a month.

Medicare doesn't send the home help folks. The hospital social worker should tell you what agency in your area works w/ Medicare, and the agency does all the paperwork. Don't know your situation, so there's no point in spelling out other services that you may not be able to get.

Feel better,

Sylvia

Pain stinks and it make depression even worse. I'm lucky not to have any chronic pain issues but I do recall times of surgery and being in alot of pain and the lengthy recovery time in pain. I immediately get depressed when I'm in pain or sick. As far as loss goes, I lost my mom unexpectedly over 3 years ago. It was very hard to deal with. I still miss her more than anything in this world. Thinking of you. Rachele