I hate to use the word stupid but think it's more freakin rudeness of people. I was at out shopping in two places past week and people don't say execuse me, just practically knock you over, cut you off in line and not a flinch from them about doing it. Sometimes, I just can't control my anger about it and will something to them. Rude people suck! Where in the heck do they come from? Didn't anyone ever teach them manners? I'm so disgusted already an it's only the beginning of the season. Thinking of doing it online this year or usually early in the morning during the week days are best. Forget the weekends. It's a nightmare!
Not sure about diagnoises but I can say I believe one doc can differ on a diagnosis with another. IT's not always clear cut with a diagnosis. It's and educated hunch based on a group of symptoms but symptoms can mimic more than one diagnosis per say. Rachele
Post edited by: Peace4Rach, at: 12/05/2010 05:00 PM
Wow Sylvia that's a horrible ordeal you've been through. Please don't misunderstand Capacity and Sylvia I'm not condoning bad behavior or suggesting you just be quiet and take it. I was just trying to explain that you shouldn't let the assholes ruin your day or your life and if you need to stand up for yourself, do so and move on- let it go if you can so that you don't keep re-living it and magnifying it. Taking a step back and considering "is it worth it" has prevented me from flying off the handle several times with my hot little temper but people also know I don't take anyone's crap. I get the feeling Capacity that maybe you have some of that too, and it's NOT a bad thing! Bitterness, however, can be.
Also, I think that the new "customer service" is kissing people's asses and letting them behave like spoiled assholes in order to not lose a customer and it's pretty sick.
Sylvia, I'm not sure why I'm telling you this but I'm a hospital administrator (mercy, please!)
However, I use my powers for good and not evil and work for an excellent hospital that treats patients with dignity and respect. I know that the things that happened to you happen more often than people realize-- it's the dirty little secret in the psych departments (and nursing homes for that matter). Anyway, Sylvia I know a bit about the ins and outs of hospitals and health care so if there's anything, ANYTHING I might be able to help you with you let me know. Your kind words and the time you take to listen to people, understand, and offer advice is simply amazing.
I do not for the life of me, know how the two of you have managed to keep your head and mind straight or clear after what I have read here. I have no idea how I would survive an adventure like what Sylvia has gone through. It makes me sad to read of such turmoil created by the constant habits of stupid people who do not care. There are pieces of the story for both of you that I will never grasp because I have not lived through what you have. But what seems to be true is the perseverance factor. Some serious strength and resolve are within the two of you. There was a time in my life when I wound up in a mental institution but I put myself there. I walked out the same night and have not gone back since.
It is just me or do stupid/mean people sometimes wind up in places where they have way too much power with regard to decision making? Police, doctors, psychiatrists, nurses, managers? Do they just stop caring after a while because they get burnt out? I know not all people in positions like this are mean/bad or stupid. There are some amazing and very caring people in this world and I have had the pleasure of meeting and becoming friends with some. There are rotten apples in every barrel as I've heard my grandmother say. Sylvia, I think you have a way of finding the good ones- the good apples despite all the craziness/rottenness.
Post edited by: pedals4all, at: 01/06/2011 08:06 PM
SJ, believe me I did not take this shit well. After my second trip I came home to commit suicide so that I'd never get locked up again. But I found this site. I still get up every day hoping I don't live to go back to bed, and go to bed every night hoping I don't wake up again. But I've found people here who need me. I couldn't believe how awful it was to have not one soul on earth need me for anything. The only reason my super-doc could come up w/ for me to keep going was that he'd miss our weekly chats, and he'd be cheated out of all the medical info I share w/ him 'cause I've nothing to do but sit here w/ the computer looking stuff up. Or I try products that might be easier to use w/ my hands as they are, a new kind of shoe that isn't so painful w/ my too many conditions in my feet, etc. And I truly believe that if I died tomorrow (don't panic; I'm not planning on it), the person who would miss me for the longest amount of time would be my doctor.
Thank you so much for your kind words, my friend. They do not fall on deaf ears.
Going to watch the end of the show I started when I was eating, and then I'm determined to make it to bed before 3 a.m. After a couple of weeks of going to bed between 6 and 10 a.m. I have to find a way to end this pattern. I've zillions of calls I have to make to offices that close at five.
12/07/2010 08:36 PM
Posts: 5177 VIP Member
SJ, I just reread your post. Every person you listed there had some part in what happened to me. In the first hospital all I know is what's in the records. My mind was on Mars because of the renal problems and, as we now know, extreme overdosing of meds that were all for misdiagnoses and kept my mind from returning. I did not find anyone who cared in the mental hospital. I'd been on Mars for a couple of days when I was found almost totally dehydrated and passed out in my bed. Wait, until I read her comments, I did find one at least honest nurse in the mental joint that kept me for 3 weeks after the judge ordered me out immediately. And nobody could tell me why the hell I woke in a mental hospital. Turned out, as I've said many times, that I was sent there via illegal screening docments. I asked the one nurse who did not, as far as I know, lie to me if her vitals looked like mine if she'd take one, never mind 3 bp meds. She said no. I asked her why she kept chasing me w/ those and 6 other meds. She said she had to since the doctor ordered it. I asked her if the doctor even glanced at my vitals, and she didn't answer - which is, of course, an answer. Every day some doc wrote schizo-affective (which my doc says isn't even a diagnosis, but if it is, I surely don't have it) and they wrote continue meds. Which made it obvious they never looked at anything. I wasn't taking any meds to continue. And the LSW lied to my doc, as did the attending in the medical hospital, and my doc had known him for about 20 years and this bastard always kept my doc in the loop - until me. I feel as if the whole medical system was determinded to make me psychotic. The EMT who took me out of here said she did so for mental changes. She somehow managed to ignore the fact that I was almost totally dehydrated. They all said I couldn't take care of my ADL's. I told my doc - who told me every Monday for over a year that they screwed up royally and I am not psychotic in any form - that apparently everybody on the verge of renal failure cleans house, changes the sheets on the bed, showers, fixes her hair and puts on make-up along w/ a twinset and pearls and then passes out to wait for the EMT's; I just missed the steps in the middle. Of course I couldn't take care of myself. I didn't even know I was alive.
My body often repeats the feelings of something seriously bad that happened on the anniversary of when the thing happened. I think they year I am feeling what I felt two years ago - for the entire 7 weeks w/ the loss of all my belongings to my shit children. People tell me to forget. It's been two years and I still remember things that are not here a few times a week. What I went thru will never be over, so I don't know how to get over it. And I'm, frankly, tired of people who cannot possibly know what I went thru telling me either that they understand how I feel, or that, as I said, I should just let it go. But because of all the overmedication, my children took my past, present and future from me. I don't know how to get over that. All of the unnecessary meds left me w/ a few medical conditions I didn't have before, and did permanent damage to my mind and to my intestine - which needed no help; it's been 'off' since I was born.
They took my past because the brain damage left gaps in my memory, and they took anything that would remind me of the good times in my life - all of my playbills, concert programs, and about 4000 pictures, just to mention a few things. So I have nothing to remind me of the good things I did, and of seeing myself smiling. They even took everything my granddaughters made for me. They are obviously sick and cruel. I am basically grieving the loss of my own life w/ any reason to live taken away, the loss of my children, and worst of all, the loss of my girls. I can't get counseling and don't really want to. The only counselors who ever helped me were 2 rabbis and an Episcopal priest - all pastoral counselors. But I'm told if I go to a 'regular' counselor and happen to say I'd like to wring my son's neck, the counselor is required to call the county mental screening hospital (where I shared a room w/ ants last time out and was locked up by a doctor who did not speak English) and tell them I threatened my son's life.
My physical disabilities make it all but impossible to even get to the bottom of the steps leading to the ground to do anything, and my son is 1250 miles away. How could anyone think I actually plan to kill him. Or that I'd actually want to kill him. I honestly cannot say that I love my children anymore, but I surely want them to be alive.
I hope that when I'm finished w/ the complaints I intend to follow thru on this won't be on my mind all of the time anymore. But it's hard. A few weeks ago I told my doc if he couldn't find anything I could tolerate to help my hands, I'm slowly losing the ability to type, and if it goes away, so do I. He asked me about my paraffin bath. I screamed a four letter word, and he said, 'It's gone.' Yep. Along w/ another thousand dollars or so of medical equipment. The county program that originally paid for the paraffin bath bought me another. My aide set it up incorrectly and I can't bend for long enough to do anything until she's here tomorrow to undo what she did.
Sorry for all the rants. I honestly think they are coming from what I went thru two years ago at this time. I was locked up for no reason I knew of and terrified beyond belief. I didn't even know what happened to me until I got home and Jim told me. Thank goodness my primary doctor is the most caring doctor on earth. Along w/ this group, he's been extremely instrumental in keeping me alive all this time. I love him dearly and am grateful that I found him. The idea that he might retire in the next few years scares me unbelievably. No other doctor ever believed the odd reactions I have to almost all meds. No other doctor believes my premonitions - which can be very painful at times. No other doctor would give me the strange array of meds that I take because I can. I could go on, but I'm convinced there's not another Jim on earth.
Thanks everybody for putting up w/ my rants. I am very grateful to all of you.
p.s. I forgot to mention that the only reason I am alive is that my subconscious mind refused meds w/in a couple of days of my death - at that point, from the meds. Also that I cannot read the hospital records. There are about 3000 pages from 6 hospitals, and if I read as much as a sentence I go immediately into PTSD mode. And I don't even get $200 along the way.
Post edited by: Sylvia4648, at: 12/07/2010 08:40 PM
12/07/2010 08:55 PM
Posts: 12 Member
Wow Sylvia, sounds to me like you have been through hell and back and I believe every word because I experienced some wierd crap too in the hosptials. Like you said there are good people and totally whacked out dumb ass sadistic neanderthals.
12/08/2010 12:09 AM
Posts: 5177 VIP Member
Thank you lori for reading my novel. I've been to hell, but I'm not sure I'm back. And I didn't actually have anyone in the hospitals who gave a damn. If my subconscious hadn't refused meds when it did, I'd be dead. And my best in the world doc couldn't help because everybody he spoke to lied about the meds they were giving me.
If I have any say in the matter I will never be in a hospital again. Any kind of hospital, and I will speak to no doctor but Jim. At least he has believed everything I've said, including all of my strange chemical reactions to meds, for 32 years. I adore him and was very lucky to find him.
Thanks again. Hope you are doing well?
Sorry. I just noticed that you're new. Welcome to the group lori. I'm sorry you need us but glad that you found us. Post whatever and whenever. We don't judge and will give you as much support as we can.
Warm welcoming wishes, Sylvia
12/08/2010 09:47 AM
Posts: 40 New Member
Hi. I just had to agree with you about working at Walmart. You are supposed to take anything the customer dishes out. I worked in the pharmacy, so when someone started bitching at me, I'd just back up, call the pharmacist by name and say--this customer wants to talk to you. People think you are supposed to do all their thinking for them and keep track of all their pills and insurance and kiss their butt when you're finished.
It is good that you want to go back to school. I no longer recommend nursing to anyone. I have been a nurse for 36 years. Things have changed. In the old day, we took care of the patients, now nurses take care of the paperwork and trying not to upset anyone because of all the patients rights. And when they need to cut the budget, nurses are first to go.
if you need a good laugh, go to people of walmart.com. It shows everyone what we deal with working there.
Good luck, Diana
12/08/2010 10:51 AM
Posts: 5177 VIP Member
Hi Diana and welcome to our depression group. I don't think I've seen you on the boards before. It's strange that you say nurses take care of paperwork and try not to upset anyone because of all the patient's rights. They were handed to me in all 6 hospitals, but nobody followed any of them. I developed serious PTSD from the incredible mistreatment in all six hospitals.
I've been in many hospitals, all medical until the farce I lived thru two years ago, and until the last few years the nurses were generally very caring. I had a total intestinal obstruction in 1982. They didn't know for 10 days whether I'd live. I was, of course, very depressed. One nurse went all thru the hospital and brought me about 3 dozen Reader's Digests. She told me to just read the jokes because laughter releases endorphins. I'd never heard of endorphins, so she explained. In 1994 I had surgery on both feet and was sent home the same day - to be on the third floor for 4-5 weeks. I always wake crying from anesthesia, but I was also crying that time out of fright. All the nurses who found me crying told me to grow up, and other lovely comments like that.
I laid my head down and closed my eyes, but the tears were still dripping. I felt someone sit on the bed. She put her arms around me and put my head on her shoulder. She told me it was reasonable for me to be scared, and she'd hold me and let me cry it out. When I finally looked at her I said, 'Barbara!' She asked how I knew that (her name tag was not in my view), and I started to tell her about the Reader's Digests and such, and once she heard my voice (which I am constantly told is unique) she remembered me.
As far as I'm concerned patient's rights are a joke. The treatment was much better before these laws were enacted.
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