Depression Support Group

I have decided to forgo the holidays this year. First time in 25 years I haven't cooked thanksgiving dinner, and first time in almost 30 that I am not putting up a tree. Just don't see the point in anything anymore.

I used to love this time of year, but now it is the hardest of all.

Besides being thankful for a few friends, I am most grateful that I am not where I was last T-giving. I little over a year ago my kidneys failed and, as I now know is common, my mind failed w/ them. I might as well have been on Mars for 3 weeks. I didn't know I was alive, never mind where I was. But the doctors - altogether in 6 hospitals - screwed up royally. They broke the law that says all medical conditions must be ruled out before making any mental diagnoses. Well, the attending apparently didn't even tell the 6-8 screeners that I had fibro and a bunch of other disabilities, never mind renal failure. So when my body recovered before my mind, they diagnosed me w/ four major psychoses and shipped me to a mental hospital (which is where I was for T-giving last year). Still didn't know I was alive, but my unconscious mind refused meds. Now we've seen the records and it turns out that if I hadn't refused the meds I'd be dead. We also know that my mind did not return until I refused meds because they were drugging me into oblivion. There were somewhere between 8 and 12 meds, and every single one was for some condition (some mental, some physical) that I do not have. And my doc told them that I'm exceedingly sensitive to drugs and they shouldn't give me anything I didn't absolutely need. Not only did they continually misdiagnose me and give me all this crap, they lied to my doc about what they were giving me and didn't tell him about any of the physical diagnoses. They told him the physchiatic diagnoses and he told them he's treated me for 30 years and I am not psychotic - that I had mental capacity changes secondary to renal failure; only nobody listened or even wrote down that they'd spoken w/ him. I now have all these psychoses following me around and probably always will because I've been trying to get someone to listen to me or my doc for 10 months, and I've gotten nowhere.

Anyway, w/o another ten pages of details, the fall-out from that idiocy gave me 3 conditions I didn't have before, and destroyed what was left of my life - which wasn't much since I've been disabled and pretty much homebound for years. Only because of what these idiot docs did, I'm basically unable to go out at all now.

Sorry for the rant. But another 'thing' I lost were my granddaughters. My son has not even let me speak to them for over a year and says he never will because I'm dangerous. I've been alone on holidays for years, but I always had my girls' calls to look forward to. No more.

So Lori, you are not alone. I wish you a peaceful day.

Take such good care,

Sylvia

Post edited by: Sylvia4648, at: 11/26/2009 10:06 AM

As far as the holidays, lets just say we have each other, so now neither of us are alone. :o)

Good luck w/ your back child support. The laws are much more in your favor than when I got divorced about 30 years ago.

And, yes, we have each other.

Take care of yourself.

Sylvia