evanmary
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I got a call from my father over the weekend that my estranged brother has stage 4 colon cancer and that it spread to his liver. My brother physicaly and emoshanly abused me while we were growing up and my depression stems from that trama. I suffered from the clasic battered womans syndrom and I felt I deserved all that was happening to me while I grew up with him and continued abusing myself long after he left the house. This was years ago and I have had a lot o therapy in between then. I also have a forgivin him for the abuse but like most people that abuse he denies he ever laid a hand on me. That is his burden to carry not mine any more. We dont talk. He wants nothing to do with me and my sister. He thinks we hate him, we dont we do love him we just dont like to be hit or punched. I have tryed in the past to hold out the olive branch. I guess I am going to have to try a little harder now I thought we would have years to patch things up some day. I am saddened his life is going to come to an end. He 40 years old with small children and my heart breaks for his family. He has a 5% survial rate past 5 years. I feel so angry and sad. I pray that he has changed his life around and I will see him again one day. I pray that he is a better man than the boy I knew. |
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