Depression & Chronic Pain Support Group

Posting here to find out how people deal with chronic pain and potentially becoming disabled. As a generally cheerful person, I have been uncontrollably crying multiple times a day (I'm not a big cry-er), food makes me nauseous now (and I loove looove food), and I wake up multiple times per night in cold sweat. This all sounds very dramatic, but I can't even control these symptoms anymore.

I'm in my late 20's and in a bit of denial of my condition. Mainly, because I have not been diagnosed completely and don't know what lies ahead, except none of the suggested treatments have helped so far and it's been months and I've been to 3 doctors...

I have severe pain in both of my feet which greatly limits my ability.. well to walk at all. I can't even stand on my feet normally. I have had strong pain in the ball of my left foot for 4 months, and I just developed the same pain in the ball of my right foot. One potential diagnosis is sesamoiditis - irritation of the bones in that area. My rheumatology results are all normal and there are no neurological symptoms or pain anywhere else in the body. I do have joint hypermobility, so my joints ache sometimes, especially wrists. I used to run a lot, and be very active. It's hard to face the fact that I will never run or dance again, ever.

This condition isn't very common and not many doctors get exposure to it. There is also no real cause for it so it's very hard to target. Basically, if I don't walk the pain goes away slightly. As soon as I resume activity, it's back. Everything the doctors say is vague, sort of experimental, potentially helpful but not for sure. I have no idea what to expect because I am not getting any better.

I am in the midst of MRI's, xrays, seeing several different doctors, looking for a physical therapist, reading lots of depressing stories online, and thinking about acupuncture.

Two doctors (podiatrist and foot & ankle orthopedic surgeon) have told me that people do NOT end up in a wheelchair/disabled from this. But I can't walk without extreme pain. And if I toughen it out (yesterday, for example) and walk anyway it's just that much the next day. So is that not disabled..?

I have no idea what my future will be like at this point. 5 months ago I was an athletic social person. Now I feel like life has been sucked out of me, all I do is sit around to "rest my feet" since any walking gives me pain.

THE REASON that I came to YOU ALL-- how DO you deal with the unknown and a potential of being disabled? I have no idea how to pull myself together, while normally I am very optimistic strong person. I don't even know how to deal with depression. Basically, I'm lost.

Post edited by: prianik, at: 04/18/2012 02:57 PM

Welcome!!

I am sorry to hear about the pain you are experiencing.

What you are going through(crying) is a normal reaction to chronic pain,it breaks you down and brings you to tears in the begining.The nausea and cold sweats are in reaction to the pain.You are unable to control this now,but once your Dr. makes a definitive diagnosis and then finds proper treatment that works and is right for you, you will be able to manage it and re-gain quality of life. Do not despair, never give up.Things will get better. What does your pain feel like? Is it burning, stabbing, or pins and needles tingling/numbness?? The more you can describe the type of pain the more accurate diagnosis can be made. Keep seeking answers from your Dr. and ask to be referred to a pain program for diagnosis & treatment options & pain physchologist to help you with the emotional side of chronic pain, which is depression.This will benefit you while adjusting to the changes in your life while adapting to chronic illness.Hopefully you will get the answers you need quickly and start treatment that will give you back some fun things in life.You will smile and be cheerful again, be positive, be able to enjoy food(change of meds could help,or meds to settle the stomach & nausea) may not be able to do all you could before,but there is also the possibility that you will. Research the illnesses your DR. has suggested find reputable health sites with information- knowledge is power!! Right now you are disabled,but it might not be forever- it depends on diagnosis, treatment and response to treatment.Only time will tell the real story. It does suck the life out of you for a time,but you will get it back. The unknown is scary,but taken a step at a time it becomes less so.Lots of support from family and friends, members here, and the pain management team I mentioned will get you through this difficult time. You are young and so you have the advantage that you have a better chance to overcome this, even though it is harder to face this at a young age emotionally-you just don't expect to be disabled.You will be optimistic and strong again and found-even if you are in a slightly different location than before.

Stay strong,hugs,

scorpioj

I do try to stay positive, because things could ALWAYS be worse. What I realized last night is that whether I am upset or happy my foot condition will not change. Not like being upset will show to my feet somehow that it's time to heal up and let me be. So I might as well be happy and positive. If nothing else, depression makes you ache in more places than one and slows down any improvement.

The pain itself varies. The more I walk the more it aches obviously. It can be sharp, it can be nagging dull. It sometimes spreads all throughout my foot because I walk funny now not to step on the balls of my feet-- so my muscles in the feet all around become very tense & sore from awkward foot placement.

But like you said, one day at a time, and patience is key. Thanks again!

You are welcome. I must admit I was unfamiliar with sesamoiditis,so I did research it. It seems to be common for young active people to get this, if like you they run regularly and dance. Rest along with ice applied after exertion(in your case walking now that it is inflammed and aggravated) and anti-inflammatories help with the pain. Wearing a modified shoe or shoe pad(metatarsal pad away from the joint) can help re-distribute weight to other parts of the foot. Wear flat shoes while it is healing.The big toe can be bound with tape or athletic strapping to immobilize it. I got this from foot.com.I hope you are feeling well soon and back dancing and racing with the wind.

Take care,

scorpioj

After suffering sesamoiditis for 6 years, this unexpectedly healed completely after cycling daily on a stationary bike (for about 45 minutes) over several months.

The trick is to get a pair of shoes that won't cause a re-injury (I use Birkenstock) and ensure the big toe is 'glued' to the other toes while cycling.

Good to hear you are healed!! Stay healthy and cycle on.

Happy cycling!

I'm confident that cycling would cure sesamoiditis 99% of the time.

As you can guess, cycling must be done at a rather slow pace to start and eventually build up to a spin.

Sesamoiditis is difficult to heal as the entire lower leg will automatically adjust slightly to lower the pain, and this thus results in a super-weak heal.

Cycling, on the other hand, re-aligns everything in the leg and so the heal is strong.

(I'm thinking of entering Tour De France next year )

blj