Depersonalization Disorder Group

I'm 20 years young, struggling to live with what I have finally found a name too..you guessed DPD

This is my story in a nutshell..

Grew up in small town of NZ

Dysfunctional home( putting it lightly) Abusive father- physical, emotional,sexually..Mum, suffering her own abuse was unable to meet the needs of my sister's and I..So there you go, this is where I first discovered dissociation!

May have enable survival then..now just plain frustrating!

Symptoms (DPD) started in teen years, although I didn't have a name for them then. Pretty down and anxious..or numb most of the time..drugs/alcohol..tried to end my life 2009.

Last five years I have been diagnosed/miss diagnosed?

MDD

GAD

PTSD

and recently DPD

Now. I'm studying towards a counselling degree..while of course accepting counselling and working on myself.

I am stoked that there is actually a name for this and others share similar experiences..Not that I like the fact that other people go though this..because I wouldn't wish it on my enemies..But that I'm not actually all that crazy! I wrote a wee poem, describing what it is like and could imagine many of you could relate?

It’s like the world disappearing around me

or me moving, further and further from it..

So vivid, so real like

but knowing it’s all in my head..

It’s like a waking dream

or a drama script..

I know my lines

the audience believe the show

that I am ‘here’ I am ‘fine’.

Surrounded by people,

unfamiliar faces..distant chatter

yet so far away,

so lonely.

Not comfortable nor uncomfortable

happy, sad,

safe or scared

just moving through the motions of a busy world

without feeling, without meaning

without soul.

Sorry this would not fit in a nutshell!

I look forward to reading your stories and offering help if I can

Love and hugs..

Alice x

You are welcome here. And we do understand.

Look around - you will find everyone's story is here for you to read already.

big gentle hugs, Raoul

and the music is the key to turning the dP off for me.

i just sit down at the piano and play and it stops.

took a while before i could perfect it, but it seems to work for now.

hugs

Hahaha 'not-Alice' I like that. Love the name so much, and I am in wonderland a lot so it makes sense

Wow, that is so cool you have taught your self playing piano to come out of Dp..Really cool.

But not all the time.

I have been banging on that old piano (actually my 4th) now for 41 years.

Lost a few neighbors doing it too.

Tell us a little more about yourself.

What hobbies are you into. Some say that hobbies are a big help.

hugs

How are you doing with your new knowledge about dP?

Hugs