Depersonalization Disorder Group

I am seventeen years old and have been going down a self destructive path for the past 4 years. I have always had a problem with emotions, and have spent a long time trying to take as many drugs as I could to stop them from occurring. I finally got my wish, and stopped feeling altogether. I never knew there was a term to describe this loss of self, but Depersonalization Disorder seems to hit the nail on the head. After putting myself in a drug induced state of numbness for so long I lost touch with the emotions that I have hated for so long. But once the sadness, anger, self-hate, etc. left it was replaced by a cold monster like emptiness that has consumed me for over a year. I'm not sure if this is similar to what other people are feeling? I just seem to be living my life putting on a false front to keep people in the dark about what im really thinking (Im a very good actor for human emotion). I recently had a traumatic experience that made me realize I cant live like this anymore, and I want to relearn how to be a human being instead of walking around like a ghost all of the time

Welcome to the group and maybe we can figure this thing out together eh?

Drugs are never the answer. I learned this the hard way my friend.

It seems Im going to be learning this fact the hard way aswell, but the fact is learned so that is all that matters.

Honestly, I never even thought of DP/DR as being related to anxiety until I started researching things more fully the past couple of weeks. There's always answers. Sometimes it just time to find them. Hopefully, this group will help all of us find the answers that we need.

Leigha