I have suffered from panic attacks for 6 years. Although now that I have them I now realize I have had them all my life just never knew what they were. I have experienced Depersonalization before but never knew at the time I experienced it what it was. I would like to learn more about it.
The one incident that sticks with me was a few years back. I was on zoloft at the time and had been for 8 months. I was on 150mgs. I remember waking up in the morning and I felt like I was in a dream and not really here. I felt that nothing was real, my house, my son, my husband, none of it. I thought that I was really in a mental institute and that this was all just my imagination because I was so mentally ill. Oh how scary it was. I had never experienced anything so scary.
It eventually went away after I stopped taking the zoloft. Then after that if I would try to take any meds such as xanax or ativan I would feel so weird the next day. As if an evil spirit was trying to get inside me. I even felt like it was already in me and that I was going to have to have a priest come pray over me to get it out. Now this didn't happen every time I took an ativan or xanax. But enough to not take them anymore.
So one time when this happened to me I was out in the garage working and the feeling of an evil spirit trying to take over me was so strong. I just lost it crying and ran inside praying as I was running. I grabbed my bible and opened it up crying and praying please dear Jesus help me. It was as if this what I thought evil spirit was wanting to make my mouth talk but it couldn't. I was so scared and didn't know what was going on with me. I felt like I was loosing my mind.
I prayed dear Jesus please let me open this bible and read something that will help me please. SO I opened it and it was the book of Psalms 141 and I was so thankful that I opened it to that page. If you have ever read that verse you would see what I mean.
I did feel better the next day but I wonder if that was depersonalization or what that was. What ever it was it scared the hell out of me.
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