carmen33
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Part of our healing, means learning to be alone, to like your own company, for me, I believe I could be a very happy hermit, I've learned to like my own company, not to be dependent on anyone else, not for entertainment, for my happiness, or for company for that matter. sometimes being this independent gets me in trouble, had one boyfriend that broke up with me simply because of the fact he didn't think I needed him for anything, he was right about that part, I didn't "need" him for anything, I wanted him for something, I wanted him to be a part of my life, for me that is far more important than being needed.. a couple to me has to be inter-dependent, to be able to complete the circle for one another, where my strengths might lay in being management of finances, my mates might be in fixing things, we are inter-dependent that way, communication with each other is a major glue in the relationship, the relationship, flows harmoniously that way. A even give and take, instead of it being all giving on one side and all taking on another. You can use the analogy of a river, it flows smoothly, down to where it goes out to the ocean, sure there is rocks and terrain that will cause some rapids, then once again it smooths out, but throw a dam into it, and it causes the natural flow to be disrupted. life's circle gets stuck, (co-dependency) the dam in our relationships. By therapy, and work, the dam can be removed and the river (our relationships) can be back to flowing like they were suppose to be, you can be dependent on your mate for things like needing them when you are sad, to share life's joys with, to share good times with, but to depend on them for your happiness, isn't good for either of you, even though you might think you are dedicating your life and energy to making them happy, this isn't the case, you are depending on them for making you feel needed. When you reach the point of being independent on your own, only then can you become dependent on each other in a healthy way. Post edited by: carmen33, at: 04/09/2008 05:50 |
Somewhere on here we have started a class action law suit against our schools. They have failed misserably. This also identifies one more reason I am math oriented! LOL!
