Home
Home | Register

Group Menu
Why wear a ribbon?
"I wear this ribbon to support my friend Savannah and anyone else that is fightin..." (beehonee)
Wear a ribbon
Menu
It's Free
We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
Co-Dependent Personality Support Group Co-Dependent Personality
Online Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with Dependent personality, together.
    Join This Group    
    Ask a Question    
      Tell a Friend      
 
DPD Community DPD Support Forums Introductions & Personal Stories Hi, Im Heather, and Im CoDependant
 

Hi, Im Heather, and Im CoDependant


Related Discussions:


04/03/2008 13:07
heatherr
Green Ribbon
Posts: 224
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I understand and accept this fact, but I have no clue how to change it.

Glad to be with others who understand.


Popular posts by heatherr
    Gloria, please decode...
    BabeBoi
    Gloria
Post Reply   Quote


04/03/2008 13:24
MarieIsHere
Green Ribbon
Posts: 264
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I understand! I am in the process of changing it too. The first thing to do is notice behaviors in yourself and stop them. One things I constantly was doing with my fiancee is ALWAYS doing everything for him without even realizing he didn't want me to! It made him feel less in control and he already feels out of control with the BP! So once, I backed off and only help him now when he asks for help, he's happier and I am not so frazzled!
http://www.mdjunction.com/dependent-personality
Post Reply   Quote


04/03/2008 13:46
dragonfly2catch
Green Ribbon
Posts: 257
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 heather,the hardest thing is accepting so the rest is history lol.we as codependants need to take no for an answer ,stop fixin everyone and letting ourselves be broken one day at a time we need to set little goals and boundries for ourselves so that we would be able to succeed.BE Blessed :~dragonfly

Post Reply   Quote


04/03/2008 13:58
Lilibit58
Pink Ribbon
Posts: 461
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 For me, Heather, it waS learning that I had the right to be selfish and that is not a bad thing. I thought I was not being nice if I didn't do everything for everyone. I rarely said no to anything I was asked. One day my sister said to me, after she dumped her wedding on me so she could take their honeymoon early,l that it was impossible to piss me off. So she was trusting me with the bulk of it. Well, that did piss me off, I'm not a doormat but I relized that is what they thought of me as. You find that most people will respect you more if you say no sometimes. I try to think first before saying anything. Like do I want to or would it be putting me out. It is the people who are using you that get upset about your changing.
Post Reply   Quote


04/10/2008 05:30
norma
Posts: 4112
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Listen to Lilibit, I used to have a friend that would want me to do everything with her...but, it was only things she liked to do. And if we went shopping (which I hated at the time because I never had any money) and we decided we would be gone 2 hrs...it always turned into 5 hrs...I finally started saying No, I don't feel like going. Although I missed her company I learned that it felt good to say NO, and do what I wanted to do for a change. Sound simple, but, you would be amazed how long I went before doing it.

I think I used to have a big problem with saying NO because I was so afraid someone wouldn't like me. I had to do what they want in order to get approval. Finally, decided that if people don't like me it is ok.

I like me.

"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan



Popular posts by norma
    ANYONE AWAKE JULY 4 NO TOPIC
    awake30
Post Reply   Quote


04/10/2008 07:15
MarieIsHere
Green Ribbon
Posts: 264
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I don't have trouble saying no to things I don't want to do as far as activities with friends, but I have big trouble saying no when someone asks me to do them a favor or help them. I want to be that person that helps everyone and every one can depend on. Which is good, but I take it to the extreme and agree to help people or do favors when I really don't want to or I really can't. This takes away from me and what I want to do and what I have to do, and you know what - I don't have that person that will drop everything for me no matter what and I can depend on 100%!

And there shouldn't be that person because that's not healthy. Don't get me wrong, my fiancee is great most of the time and he has dropped things when I needed him and I can depend on him, but there has been times when he didn't drop things for me and I couldn't depend on him. That is normal, healthy, and HUMAN.

http://www.mdjunction.com/dependent-personality
Post Reply   Quote


04/10/2008 07:16
MarieIsHere
Green Ribbon
Posts: 264
Group Leader

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Norma, that is most important that we like ourselves, and I LIKE YOU for WHO you are and not what you can do for me!
http://www.mdjunction.com/dependent-personality
Post Reply   Quote


04/10/2008 14:16
Lilibit58
Pink Ribbon
Posts: 461
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Ditto, people should like you for the pleasure of your company and friendship Of course we should help each other, it's when you feel stressed by it that it is too much and time to say no. At first it is hard, I felt guilty for saying no, but eventually I actually feel stronger like I'm in control rather than everyone else who needs me. First step to you liking you
Post Reply   Quote


04/10/2008 19:54
jenn14
Green Ribbon
Posts: 156
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Hi Heatherr. Welcome to the co-dependant group. Im just realizing myself that I'm actually co-dependant. I just thought I was always "helping" my BP BF. Which would be fine if it wasnt "hurting" me. Im just startin to get it all. Its tough but we'll be here for each other.
Post Reply   Quote



Start a New Discussion

Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice. Read More.
Contact Us | Bookmark Us | Add a Doctor | For Doctors | FAQ | Awareness Ribbons
About Us | Terms & Conditions | Privacy | Get Involved
Copyright (c) 2008 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved