Co-Dependent Personality Support Group

Hi, I'm co-dependant to a recovering sex addict. I have been married for 16 yrs. and have 3 children. I found out about his addiction 3 years ago. I started treatment but it was not as easy as i thought so when things got to hard a droped out. Its been almost 2 yrs. I have yet to learn about his addiction and my own. I guess its just been unmanageable living. I also have an out of controle tween he is 12yrs. I know I need help big time with him. That I'm dealing with. My oldest son is a JR. in high school doing very well 17yrs. My youngest is 8yrs. and she is a doll.

Post edited by: sabrinajimenez, at: 05/12/2010 08:31 AM

Hey Sabrina welcome to the group. We are all happy you have joined.

I see that you were in recovery, then stopped. I'm glad you are trying again. What made you come here and try again?

During the last few years has your husband been in recovery?

The first step in recovery is to realize that your life is unmanageable. And you just took that step, so give yourself a hand. That is the most important step.

With recovery, what are your goals, and how do you think you can achieve them? It may take some time to think about it, but come up with a lists of goals. Then go from there.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Sabrina:

Welcome - you are in the right place. I too am a codependent married to a sex addict. I feel for you because I know how devestating it was for me to find out. You ask yourself - doesn't he love me? Am I not attractive enough? What is it about ME that isn't good enough? The answer is it doesn't have anything to do with us. They are addicted to sex the same way a drug addict is addicted to drugs or an alcoholic to booze. They crave the high - it just happens that sex is their drug.

The same scary ride that wives of other addicts take, we take. We get depressed, we isolate, we lose confidence, we have confused thoughts, we think no one knows how we feel. The good news is that everyone of us knows how you feel - we have all struggled with codependency.

Is your husband in recovery? Does he admit that he has a problem? I have found some great resources for myself and would be happy to share them.

You said you went for treatment - does that mean counseling?

Sabrina, I am so glad you have joined us. This is a wonderful support network and we love to support each other.

A part of codependency is feeling like you are "bothering" people with your problems. Nothing could be further from the truth. Supporting each other has been a great learning experience for us as well as giving us support when it feels like no one else is there. There is no judging here.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Redwood