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02/28/2012 12:10 PM

What is the hardest thing about being co-dependent

brokenhrt001
brokenhrt001  
Posts: 119
Member

I think is learning to say NO
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02/28/2012 01:56 PM
sparks
 
Posts: 527
Member

I think for me that is, is learning how to put yourself first. we have been so focused on other peoples problems. when they are no longer there we dont know what to do.

its like Redwood said we loose our identity.

I have slipped back lately into that pattern, but know i am pushing myself to go for my walk in the evenings after work. on my walk i chant to myself"this is your time"its beginning to help.its a struggle to get up and go, but when i have my walk done i feel good in myself.

learning to say no to people can be a big problem for me as well


02/29/2012 08:41 AM
JonesFallsX
JonesFallsX  
Posts: 430
Member

For me it's realizing that it's an addiction. I often tell my self the lie that codependency isn't so bad" or isn't "as bad," but just like any other addict my inner coda has issues with lying, control, and manipulation. The flip side to this is not blaming myself. Those are all survival traits that once served me even if they now no longer work. So I guess more clearly the hardest part for me is looking at myself honestly but with compassion.

03/02/2012 06:21 AM
redwood
redwoodPosts: 1123
Senior Member

I think the hardest part for me is letting go of control. I feel so much better when I am not trying to think 40 steps ahead, trying to make sure everything is ok, worrying what will happen if I do "x" or "y". Just taking it One Day At A Time and letting go is probably my biggest struggle. As Jones said, it really is just another addiction.....

03/12/2012 11:21 AM
dragonfly2catch
dragonfly2catch  
Posts: 541
Member

Co dependacy is the hardest thing to give up.we as codependant people have somewhere some how been hurt,abandoned in some way as a child ,young adult and believe it or not we have a wall thats the controll wall the one that keeps us wanting to keep it all together when it is falling apart.The person that wants to fix everyone and is ten steps ahead of the game we analize everything so we don't get hurt.But alot of times we end up hurt anyway because of our own personality.I know for me living with a Bi polar husband was the straw that broke the camels back..I feel all the struggles you have endured.hugs and letting life be life ...dragonfly
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