Co-Dependent Personality Support Group

I haven't been on here for awhile. I have missed everyone. Things had gotten out of hand in my life. I have been a nervous wreck trying to work through the 12 steps for codependents and still living with my alcoholic/sex addict Husband. It's been a rough ride and I should have been reaching out to you guys! I probably wouldn't have gone through the madness I've been going through.

I have been crying and feeling unbalanced because I have allowed my Husband to put me in a tailspin with his drinking, staying out until unGODly hours and urinating in the bed. It has been like having a newborn that gets you up in the middle of the night. I was so afraid that he would pee on my clothes or break something when he drunk sleepwalks. I would call him on his cell phone and he would never answer when he was out or about. It was driving me crazy, totally insane but, somehow I was able to keep my mind intact. After all the things he has done to me and himself, I still love him.

My Husband got locked up last night for a DUI and he is still on parole. His bond is $2500 but, I don't have that and maybe I'm not suppose to. I haven't been able to speak to him anymore because the phone system would take over 24 hours to be in effect at my home to the jail. Once again, maybe I'm not suppose to be talking to him right now. I almost feel guilty for feeling so at peace right now! It's heaven to not be worried about him driving drunk and killing himself or killing someone else on the road. It's also peaceful to know he's not sneaking to see another woman. The courts might keep him and revoke his parole because everytime he's been arrested, it's a DUI. All I can do is pray. There is a big chance they will take his license away and he will lose his job because he has to drive the company truck to make deliveries. I'm surprised that I feel OK with all of this and I know that GOD is taking care of me! I'm not even scared of the financial aspects of this situation. I'm on the HCG diet and I didn't even go off of the diet when I was stressed earlier today! Yay!!!!! I think I'm making progress after the storm.

PrincessKim

Princess:

It is wonderful to hear from you! I know a lot of us at times have dropped off either because we felt that we had failed and are embarrassed or our emotions were just too raw to share. There is no pressure! We are always here - but know that you can always come here and not be judged.

I, for one, have to say that I am glad he is in jail. I hope he stays there because it will be best for everyone. Mostly I am glad for you because you are my friend, but it can only be good for him too. Possibly bring him to his rock bottom - and the streets are now safer.

Enjoy the peace - you deserve it! Even if you had the bond money, I would hope you wouldn't free him. That would be enabling him to keep putting others in harms way and not allowing him to get to the level of despair he needs to reach in order to hopefully begin his own recovery.

In the meantime, you have you. Not having your husband around means that you have an opportunity to refocus your thoughts and activities on YOU. I refer to having the addict around as "noise". It's so "noisy" when they are around that all we do is think about what they want, who they are, what they are thinking. If someone asked us what we wanted our answer would probably be, "I don't know". So the noise is off - you can now listen to your own voice. Everyday do something for you, say what you want (even if it's to a telemarketer, it's good practice!) and keep working your steps.

Missed you!

Love,

Red

Hey princess...

You don't have to feel guilty at all for enjoying the peace! You deserve it and as Redwood said, enjoy it by focusing on you. What do you want to happen? Does this show you could survive without him??

Its good that he is in jail. He is not on the road endangering others, and giving you some peace.

A girl I used to play with when I was a kid just got killed two nights ago. 19 yrs old. A friend was driving her car and they were smoking pot and drinking. So I'm glad you husband can't endanger others while he is in lock up.