Co-Dependent Personality Support Group

I learned something lately that I thought was really interesting and wondered what it might mean to us.

My husband participates in an online group for sexaholics and has met some pretty smart people there. One person is a recovering addict as well as a therapist.

He was explaining that every addict was first a codependent. Wow - I think that is fascinating. I know that a lot of codependents turn to food, alcohol, shopping and I guess this can eventually turn into addiction.

Addicts and codependents have the same core issues (dysfunctional familes and abandonment being right near the top of the list) - so what keeps a CoDA from turning into an addict - what do you think for you?

I have an idea of why I am not addicted to anything, but want to see if you all have a sense of why (if you aren't recovering from an addiction, because I know some of us are) you don't become an addict?

That is very interesting..

I can definetly see why it does happen.

I am not very proud of it, but when I first started out with my ex, I was addicted to pills. Pain killers, muscle relaxers, you name it. I had an injury and mixed all those with steroids and my anti depressent. When I took them I felt numb and nothing could hurt me. It only lasted a year. But I also think that I have an addiction to food. I ate and ate for comfort.

I think the reason I finally decided to lose weight because I finally identified that I was codependent. And know what the characteristics are and that I need to deal with them in a healthy way.

Wow TQ - that takes a lot of guts and a lot of HONESTY to yourself to admit and deal with that. I have so much admiration for you! Your little girl is lucky to have such a great role model.

Redwood

Thank you Redwood. . I am not proud of it but, its the truth and was a big part of my life. At a time.

Wow, redwood! That is a very powerful realization! I'm definitely an addict...I've had my bouts with drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating, sex, people, etc...you name it! I've been going to therapy to talk about these things with my therapist and I am really working on changing my behavioral habits and addictions. I have recently quit smoking pot and it's been about a month. I had been smoking pot since I was 15. I also had my bouts with drugs in my teens and 20s. I have also gotten myself into some major debt from shopping. And food.

But I've come a long way. I'm learning more and more about healthy behaviors to make the right changes in my life. I want to break free from all the addiction and be free!

Wow Spiderwoman.. Good for you working on your addictions. And congrats on one month without pot.

What do you think helps you the most from staying away from your addictions?

Right now, staying so busy is keeping me from my addictions

Spiderwoman:

How great to meet you! Congratulations to you for working on your addictions. I think that it takes a lot of courage to look at ourselves, find fault, and work on our issues. I know one of my codependent traits is to think if I am not perfect that I am an awful person. When you think like that, to admit that you have issues to overcome then means you fall in the "horrible person" category. I had to want to get better more than I wanted to stay perfect. It was a struggle - but such a relief!

We are so glad you are here and look forward to getting to know you better!

Redwood

You're right redwood, it takes a lot of courage to face our addictive behaviors. I am still addicted to some things though...my bf, cigarettes, and caffeine! Don't want to quit any of them...so I guess I'm in denial!!

As far as what I think helps me to stay away from some of my addictions is avoidance. Out of sight, out of mind! Plus, if I really put my mind to something I can do it. I try to focus solely on my recovery!

Post edited by: Spiderwoman, at: 07/22/2010 04:29 PM

Spiderwoman - I don't think you could be in denial and admit that these things are addictions. I think maybe you just can't tackle them all at once!

Something my husband said made me think - there were so many times he wanted to quit acting out (he is a sexual addict) and he would just quit doing it. Since it was untreated tho, he would always go back to acting out. It wasn't until he got counseling and into 12-step to treat the problem that he was able to recover. Do you think someone can just quit cold turkey or do you think the underlying issues have to be addressed for the recovery from addiction to be permanent?

Redwood