Death in the family Support Group

HI.

I lost my brother 20 years ago who I was very close with and my father 10 years ago.

My fiance also lost his mother and father and 20 yrs ago lost his wife and child.

We have been together almost a year and he cant talk to me about it at all. We plan on getting married in october. I feel that he is not healed enough. It makes me worry. He says he is good, but I know better.

Just let him know you are there when he is ready to talk about it

Hi, Yes he knows this and he knows that i deserve to know and he knows it is unhealthy to keep it in. he says he just needs some more time. I respect that but at the same time it makes me feel uneasy. I just want to help him! He can't do it alone and he thinks he can.

hi but u cant force him to talk,if he knows ur gona be there when hes ready, then mayb thats good enuf for him,if u presure him, u might push him away. dont worry, hell open up,but it will have to be up to him to choose the right timing. death is very hard and harder for others. we all deal differently also. so hang in there.im sure itll work out, and at the end he will love u more for understanding and giving him that space ,Joanne.

Thanks so much. That was very comforting

We are all here to help eachother for we have all been there

LUVWALKS, GOOD LUCK JUST GO WITH THE FLOW ENJOY LIFE

Luvwalks,

Im sorry for what you are going through. It must be really hard for you right now. The subject for him is probably still fragile. It may be that he doesn't know how to handle it. Like keeping it in is the only way that he knows how to. Maybe it because he don't want you to be upset or sad. The only thing i can think of is that you keep him close to you. Let him know that its ok for him to feel his emotions and you are there for him when he needs it. He needs to feel the love that he once had when he lost them. I hope this helps.

~cat

Thanks so much for your feedback. He says he will share and I believe him. Just today he was listenting to a song that reminded him, and I could tell he was upset. It made me cry right along with him. He wanted to know what was wrong. I told him when he hurts, I hurt. I think hope that helped him to realize Im a safe place to open up.

Lovewalks,

It sounds that he is getting to be able to show things. What you did was a great way for him to feel that he can share with you. Soon he will wont you to know. It just takes time. Hope all is well. Sorry i got back to you so late.

~cat