Cyclothymia Support Group

ithink my partner is going throughthe same with me althou he doesnt seem to understand or want to understand the disorder. events in his past have made him put up a wall and its really not helping our relationship. I just want him to understand rather than do thehe knows best and its all a weekness of mind. How can this be fixed ???

Hi Skodachic, Sorry you and your partner are not on the same wave length. I am 43 and have only just admitted I have a mental Health illness and I remember back all those times it was suggested that I needed help, but until I admitted I needed help, which has only been in the last 2 years, I thought I was fine, just a bit off beat with the rest of the world.

You have suggested you suffer from Cyclothimia, but have not actually said, working on your own illness in a more open and maybe as wisewuman does include him in your own quest for stability in life and learning new ways of dealing with symptoms together, just remember don't push.

Wishing you both Light, Love & Laughter

Thank you Light. I wrote that last night and looking at it now it doesnt make a lot of sense.

I have just been diagnosed with cyclomythia and like you I thought I was fine too. I am now at the point of beginning psych education (whatever that is) and hoping to understand a lot more about myself.

My partner doesnt seem to recognise that the problem is a condition and i cant just shake out of the down dark times. He is unwilling to explore the issues and facts about the condition but wants me to explain it all to him, he will then argue about all the points i put forward with no facts to back him up but his opinion (he is a very opinionated person) This is causing me more stress and anxiety that i feel i dont need to carry and I feel as though I am beginning to resent him. I dont know if it is my mood or if it is a real and normal feeling. very very confused.

lots of love to you

x

I think it can be quite hard for family members or loved ones to see and accept the reality of any form of mood disorder. Because mental illness isn't visible, some can find it really difficult to believe there's anything wrong. I think that first you should decide what you want/need from your partner - do you want him to be actively involved in helping you manage your cyclothymia, do you want him to be interested and supportive or do you want him simply to be aware of it? Once you know the level of involvement you want him to have in your treatment, you can start working on getting him there.

For now, I would suggest you take a little break from discussing it with him. Tell him that you're still trying to deal with your diagnosis yourself, and you need some time as the whole thing has made you feel stressed out. If he wants to know more, he can google cyclothymia! See where you are in a couple of weeks - he may be acting in this argumentative way because it's come as a shock to him too, so if you avoid talking about it with him until you're feeling more comfortable and relaxed, his attitude may be different.

rainegirl's right about having a break from each other. In the meantime, think about your future. Read what I've stated below (it's from my husband's perspective) and think about whether or not, you & your partner have the foundations to achieve some of this one day? ...

Many partners who are normal can't cope with the erratic thinking, moods, acting out, etc of someone with cyclothymia. This inevitably leads to cyclothymic relationships being considerably less stable than most. The relationship needs to be a fundamentally very good one to have a chance.

It’s then only going to survive long term if the cyclothymic person has the respect for their partner to fight to minimise the impact of their condition and constantly seek to learn to improve and the non-cyclothymic partner needs to be understanding at an advanced level, supportive and carefully challenging. I also think the cyclothymic has a responsibility in terms of therapy and medication and the non cyclothymic has a responsibility in terms of stepping up and doing everything when required to allow the cyclothymic one to focus on their well being.

It’s not an exact science though. However, if the love, commitment and determination remain strong, anything is possible. We are proof of that.

I suggest you get him to research your illness.

My partner has and it has made a world of a difference. He knew what was wrong with me but didn't understand how to deal with it. Now he understands what to do when im having an episode or anything else.

It could be your partners lack of knowledge of the illness that is making him the way he is.

I hope the best for you both xxx

Following on from what xbexidabestx has said ...

My hubby & I have been together over 11 years successfully by developing a depth of understanding each other & supporting each other, thoroughly researching & learning about the condition together and always working on healthy ways of moving forward. Also, generally doing our absolute best in every aspect of our lives, within the limits of the condition. For the most feasible outcome in a relationship, there has to be consistent joint working.