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01/20/2012 04:42 PM

frustration

brooksgirl76
brooksgirl76  
Posts: 42
Member

Sometimes I just don't know what to do, today I feel like I am at my wits end. The healthier and stronger I feel emotionally it seems like the harder my relationships become. I am wondering if it's because I gravitate towards dysfunctional relationships and now I am having to face some difficult choices in my choice of friends. I worry though that it could be me? I am looking for the common denominator to figure out the problem and the only common denominator is me. A person in my life that I consider a good friend and I had a major blow out today. She is the alpha dog in the relationship, and I have always tried to please her. I have started to realize recently that she is a bit of a bully and is very rude and demanding to others. We had a fundraising project to work on together that I put off due to the difficulty I feel in working with her. I acknowledge this was wrong and that avoiding the situation was not the solution. I decided to voice my concerns today with her and it turned into a very ugly situation. I am not sure what is going to happen. This situation has almost put me over the edge today. I am just so tired of feeling like a majority of my important relationships are so much work.
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01/24/2012 03:05 PM
Light68
Light68Posts: 520
Member

It feels like that some days. but good friends are worth the effort (not that I have any as I to have pushed them all away) I have found that if I have to tackle a situation with someone, I take my time to collect my thought and work out what is real and what is in my head this lets me remove my hang up stuff, so when I say what I need to it is clear,I say it, listen to response and them leave it with the other person. I avoid the backwards forwards arguing as I take other peoples stuff on board to easy.

01/25/2012 01:01 AM
rudio
Posts: 50
Member

I stopped trying to keep my friends happy after exercises with my therapist on saying NO. One thing he thought me is that you don't need to explain yourself when saying NO. It leaves the conversation open to discussion, manipulation and eventually an argument.

For the past four months I had no contact with my friends. Mostly because I didn't make an effort to keep in touch. Since a couple of weeks ago I have had constant contact from my friends, strange, from their side not mine. Can't please other people and make yourself unhappy.


01/25/2012 05:18 PM
brooksgirl76
brooksgirl76  
Posts: 42
Member

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I hope with time we can at least apologize to each other, but I feel the relationship balance was off on this friendship. I do feel bad that I told my friend that she was rude and bossy. I really wish I could of been more constructive in my criticism, but I don't regret that at least it's out there, I just regret the way I did it. Now it seems like it will be a matter of wills. I hope I get to the point where I can get over my pride and put out the olive branch first and say I'm sorry.
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