Cyclothymia Support Group

Hi, I'm 26 years old, this is a pretty long winded story, I'll try to make it as quick as possible. I have had problems with depression, on and off for around 18 years, around 5 years ago I tried to committ suicide I was saved, slapped with a public disorder offence and given counceling, 2 months into councelling I thought I was ok. I had had another 3 spells of depression since then on and off between hymomania, sometimes depressive states could last weeks, even months, sometimes just flicking through moods within a couple of hours. Around 3 weeks ago I tried to commit suicide twice once I couldn't go through with it, the other time I was hauled off of a bridge by the Police. I was sick of feeling down all the time, I knew that it was on very frequent occasions I felt depressed, thoughts had been rushing through my head over and over, I had also just messed up a relationship. After that I got taken 2 hospital I was sent home from there, ad a phsyciatrist assesed me, told me almost definately have cyclothymia....

I read about the condition, I just can't believe that relationships I've had with people that have ended, where allot to do with my moods. Is there anybody out there who can tell me or give advice on how you go about telling a person who you where in a relationship with that the problem was a mental illness....Knowing I have cyclothymia has made me feel really bad for hurting that person (not physically)it has crushed me to know the devistation I've left behind me.

You've had a tough old time of it. Once you've made sense of the diagnosis completely yourself and move forward with the right help and support i.e. psychiatrist / medication / therapy hopefully you'll see there is no benefit to looking back. I was recently ruminating myself but thanks to some sound advice from a group leader on this site, I could see that all that occurs is a roller coaster of unbearable emotions (shame, guilt, regret, pain, depression). Explaining your past behaviours and now your diagnosis is an individual choice but be prepared for some to 'get it' and keep in mind some may not. You come first right now so be kind to yourself.

I second everything GW11 has to say. I think you need to consider that the person from your past may not want to hear an explanation. If you do want to go ahead, a letter may be best, in case the person is unreceptive to what you have to say, or their reaction is upsetting. The important thing to remember is that now you are diagnosed you can begin treatment, and learn both how to control your moods and the destructive impulses that come with them.

Good luck, and feel free to post if you have any questions or concerns.

Hi all, thanks for your reply to my post, it's hard to come to terms with the fact that I hurt this person, but when I think about it I don't think she would be receptive to me, she is very understanding, but at the moment she doesn't really want to know about me, guess I should just leave things alone and maybe move on, I wouldn't want to put my stresses on anyone else. Plus you are quite right I need to get to grips with this new diagnoses, for myself, things are pretty messed up in this head of mine at the moment, allot of the time I don't think I know myself anymore. It's one of the hardest challenges I've had to face, thing is about me, I've always been tough on the outside, but soft hearted on the inside. Thanks for your posts. It's good to speak to people who understand, when I take a mood swing now I don't think poeple who I care about know how to handle it anymore, now that they know it's a condition, I suppose that could be expected, it's new to all the people I care about.

Post edited by: Steve1204, at: 09/03/2011 03:28 AM

You sound clearer about things (compared to your initial post).

That's the good thing about this on line group. We are all fellow cyclothymics/bipolars. Excuse the labeling. So we all understand and are in a position to support each other. The diagnosis is new for you and for the people who you care about. It takes time. One step at a time. Try to just focus on your diagnosis and treatment for now. Remember you have this chronic condition, not those around you so you are the one that needs to put yourself first and quite rightly so. As for people, those who really care about you will try to understand & support.

If it helps at all, once you get diagnosed things do feel harder at the start, but then get easier. Once you start treatment, you'll probably be amazed with how much better you start to feel. Therapy has also been a massive help for me, although I found it difficult initially to sit and talk about myself!

In my personal experience, rainegirl is absolutely right. When first diagnosed I found it all rather overwhelming. It was tough but a few weeks into treatment I'm amazed at how much better I'm already tackling thoughts & behaviours. You will too!