Cyclothymia Support Group

People keep telling me that I need to get a grip. Am I the only person with this condition that just can not seem to do that?

Maybe I have not been diagnosed correctly. Maybe I have full blown madness (what ever that is)!

Maybe I am just a waste of air!

Sweetie, it's easier said than done. When I finally got diagnosed, I told a few friends who then reciprocated by telling me all the stuff mutual friends had said over the years. The kindest comment was that I was unstable. I think it's so hard to judge in the here and now - looking back at my life I was so unstable a few years ago that if I'd been my friend I would have been very scared and upset. I'm in a more stable place now, which makes it easier to be almost flippant about my condition, but I try always to keep in the forefront of my mind that it wasn't so long ago that I was so erratic that I completely withdrew from social interaction to avoid embarrassing scenes. So no, you're not the only one who can't get to grips with things. I don't know what lucky accident contributed to my stability, but I am very aware of how lucky I am. I keep my fingers crossed that you find the same peace, and I know that if I ever revert to how I was, you'll be around to help!

For now, take it day by day. Keep going. Get outside as much as possible, even if you don't feel like it. Take long walks and long baths. Look after yourself - that's all that's important right now.

Raine x

x

I've only been diagniosed with cyclothymia for 4 weeks, I told a few friends, 2 of which I rang when I was ontop of a bridge ready to do myself over, my Mother and Father also know, my friends don't really say much about my condition, my Dad on the other hand, tells me to get a grip all the time, I think that some poeple just don't understand, I was bursting with energy all day today, by about 3:00 p.m, I just sank right down into a depressive mess, I told my Mam and Dad how I felt, as I was with them all day, my Dad just turned round and said in a bitchy manner "Well, why do you feel like that, you need to sort yourself out!" Sometimes I can't explain why I feel that way, I just do, my mood changes. Sometimes I feel people have got to just step out of there shoes, and put themselves in yours for a few minutes. I snapped at my Dad when he said that, which was wrong of me to do, but then again, he shouldn't have snapped like he did.

I know he's your Dad so I don't wish to be disrespectful BUT he clearly either doesn't understand or doesn't want to understand. He may be scared. He may just be old fashioned and thinks you should be a "man" (yuk! give me a sensitive one anytime! which is what hubby is). Anyway back to you, do you know why he is the way he is? Can you talk to your mum alone more about your condition, diagnosis, treatment etc and how your dad makes you feel? Maybe tell her about this site and that there are others with the condition including did they know Winston Churchill was bipolar and Stephen Fry is cyclothmic?!!! This site and others on it helped my mum in law give me unconditional understanding & support. She didn't really 'get' me before. Try not to worry too much about what others do / do not understand about you. You know the truth and that's what matters. Your parents - just bear in mind you have enough battling with this condition without battling with them. Maybe say that to your mum or both of them if/when they're receptive. Feel free to PM me.

Unfortunately there does seem to be some massive misapprehensions knocking around about depression, bipolar etc, the most popular probably being that people should just "pull themselves together", "get over it", "grow up" or "stop complaining". People that can think that way are lucky - they've never experienced the reality of depression. But they are also ignorant and inconsiderate. I never mention feeling depressed or down to anyone who has shown they have that kind of attitude as I don't need the extra mental kicking their insensitive response will give me! Find someone that does understand and that you can talk to - if you don't have a therapist, how about using something like the Samaritans? It can be hard to burden a friend with the negativity of depression, and it can take a toll on a friendship, so use those who are trained to both listen and help you.

There are also mental health charities you can find on the net e.g. MIND, SANE, RETHINK. It would be worth ringing them and particularly when you feel alone / in a black hole/ desperate / suicidal etc like rainegirl suggested, call the Samaritans. Also, like rainegirl says mental illness is not understood or misunderstood by some in our society and it feels worse when it is your family /friends. So I hope you keep using this forum and contact the organisations as there are people out there that will understand/support/advise you.

Post edited by: wisewuman, at: 09/12/2011 11:42 AM

I agree with Wisewumen and Rainegirl, there are people out there who can help, the Samaritans really helped me, when I had nobody to talk too, and felt like I didn't want to put a burden on people I love, there are people out there who are ignorent, I feel you should never pass judgement on something you know little about, even studying a condition isn't the same as having one, but there are people who are trained (might I add, very well trained) In talking to people, and lending a hand.

That's really good advice from the 3 of you! It's worth us all keeping in mind. It is nice to know people are there to help, just at the end of the phone. That don't know you too! That thought is quite reassuring. x

Steve1204-had same experience as you re Samaritans-spoke to a chap once who did his job so well that I'd talked myself into feeling like I was a valuable human being by the time I came off the phone.