Crohn's Disease Support Group

I'm not really sure how to start....but er...

well, iv'e had chrons disease since I was 10 or 11. I admit I don't eat very well, and because of the pancreatitus I got when I was 10-11. I also developed type 1 diabetus when I was 16.

So i'm 21 now. Sitting in a hospital bed, mad as hell. My best friend who was my mentor and taught me everything, moved away.

Anyway, i found out the meds I had been taking for years for my chron's were no good at all. And so I took some new ones...

2 weeks later, I went to the hospital with pain that was all to scaringly familiar. Back aching, and my stomach feeling like it was being stabbed with knives on fire.

Was given some pain killers at the hospital, sent back home...

Next day, I had the pains again. And when I arrived in the emergency parking lot. I started throwing up violently. And everytime I threw up, my stomach felt like someone was tearing it apart. I was dizzy, and sweaty as hell.

After a couple of hours in the hospital again. The doctor pretty much said "lol i don't know." (ok, he actually said it "might be a stomach virus.) but whatever...may as well said that...he diden't even know about that.

So anyway, I came back a third time, after sitting in my own home on my couch as stiff as a scarecrow, because I was afraid that if I moved even a centimeter, my stomach would react in a bad way.

I threw up AGAIN. And finally got admitted to the damn hospital.

So now there's like a million things iv'e heard that could be wrong.

-I might have an ulcer

-I might have a super bug

-My chron's might be acting up

-my white blood cell count is high, and I might have a blockage

So I got a CT scan, just for my damn doctor to come into my room 7 and half hours later, to tell me my "chron's is inflamed" WOW REALLY? I DIDEN'T KNOW THAT! WOW!

With the added stress of trying to get my girlfriend to move from the US to canada(where I live) with my stomach attempt to commit second degree murder on me all the time...

And apparently, my new meds had a side effect of "dropping my immune system" WOW

And I was just given a piece of paper, I'm suppose to get a scope tomorrow. My gastronoligst apparently said that I agreed to this. And I never did.

And my friend who moved sent me an e-mail asking how I was doing. And I explained everything. And he said something that made me think.

He said "why don't you try hemp? I heard that stuff works really well for everything."

I said that's a good idea, but I also researched medical marjuana.

I can't believe how much of a fool I was. Cramming my body with this pharmaceutical garbage. So iv'e decided I want to try and get a medical marjuana license. It certainly seems like a better option than all the crap iv'e been given.

And the worst part? see i'm on a government disability. My work pays peanuts. And for personal beliefs. I refuse to work in certain places.

And i'm with an organization that helps me in life. And now they are threatening me if I don't take the meds i'm suppose to due to there "policies" I can lose my rent subsidy, and have to move somewhere else, because there all manipulated sheep that want to keep the corrupted in power.

I'm very passionate about my beliefs. When I watch documentaries on bad things, I act. I don't just watch it and go "oh man, that's so horrible." I follow what I feel is right.

I thought that I lived in Canada. A country with great health care. Iv'e always been against weed. And never wanted to smoke it. well, more likely against the people that smoke it. Because they always treated me bad.

But this seems like the best option. And nobody is helping me. At this point I don't really care if I die or not. Either I get the treatment I want, or I die.

Okay where to start... To me it sounds like you're having a very bad Crohns flare up and your meds are obviously not working cause if they were you wouldn't be where you are now. I'm sorry you got so sick young I did also and it totally sucks. Doctors definately suck when it comes to listening to you I got sick to the point that sounds the same as what you are at and they wouldn't even admit me into hospital apparently I was "too sick to have in hospital there is nothing we can do for you here " like gee thanks for helping cure me... but I do think the scope is a good idea simply because they should finally confirm what it is and if that be a crohns flare up they should take action and put you on new meds. At least I hope they would and not mess you around. That kinda stuff makes me want to be a doctor just to have someone out there with actually listens and moves mountains to get you well and healthy.

As for the marujana (sp) I personally wouldn't do it just because I feel strongly against not doing drugs. I do know some people are on it and (my point of you everyone is different) I feel that it more so masks the pain and makes you forget about it rather than actually putting you into remission. You could find yourself back in the same position again. Can you gaurentee you will be able yo focus through the drugs? If you do get new meds I would give them time to start working. I was put on humira and a month and a half I had improvement and now a year later I'm in remission.

I know right now it seems dark but don't give up yet. You never know what is round the corner and think of your girlfriend I'm sure she doesn't want you to die. I was two weeks from death three years ago and now three years later I moved from the UK to the US and am living a pretty good life.

Thanks. And from what I read, it's safe. Medical marjuana rather, not the crap you buy off some 14 year old on the street.

But anyway, i'm not here to argue about my political or religious beliefs.

My gastronologist said I have the worst case of chron's he has seen. And among that. Other things have been popping into my head. I told the gastronoligist i'd rather kill myself than have a bag on my side.

My dad told me "if you get a bag on your side, no woman is going to want to be with you." My girlfriend insists that woulden't be an issue. But I don't believe her.

True true. I'm sure because it is medical it obviously must be okay if that's the route you want to go then all be it go down it and see if it helps its all about getting you healthy.

I agree I wouldnt want a bag either. However I disagree about no women wanting to be with you. If your girlfriend truly loves you she will stand by yourside no matter what. Believe me so long as you pick a girl who cares and loves you for you you'll be good to go.

I think one of the hardest things about crohns is you have to find a medicine that works for you to control it there is no cure. I wish there was. Did they ever tell you where your crohns is located? My dad had it in his large intestine and they could simply give him surgery to take that pirtucular part out. Me I have it from my oesphogoues to my colon estentailly. Excuse my bad spelling.

KBF your Dad should never have told you that. We have plenty of male members on this support group who do have girlfriends and wives. People have no idea what they are talking about making a statement like that. I have an ostmy myself and have been married for 25 years this August. It does not offend my husband or our sex life.

Oh and do you really want to end your life? Leave everyone you love behind and not exsist? I know you're in pain but what if they can find a way to take the pain away? What about your hopes and dreams? Don't give up yet.

I think the...small? not sure.

Oh great, so my dad just called me. And he's just some drone who came from the "old country" so the corrupted powers now where he lives can tell him everything.

He called and asked how I was doing. And I explained I'm not taking any more of the garbage the doctors want me to take. And he tried a classic scare tactic he's been using on me since I was a kid, with the whole death talk. And I said I don't care and want to be treated the way I WANT to be treated.

And he basiclly just hung up on me.

You know, I kinda wish I'd die already, I just want to let one IRL person know it's his fault. I know he cares about me. But he cares about his beliefs more. And unlike most people, he is unwilling to change.

My dreams are to end or at least greatly supress, well....everything wrong in the world. And there are people out there that wanna help. between my friend and some other stuff. Iv'e opened my eyes.

I guess that's my reason to live. but...

Post edited by: kbf, at: 07/12/2012 06:01 PM

I forget which intestine is which to be honest my dads might be in the small. But if they do a colonoscopy they could see where the issues is located and possibly perform surgery and take it out if its only in a small area. Its not a cure because it can come back however you could be well for many many years. Of course it depends if you are a candidate for that or not I guess there are many factors they think about before that I don't really know seen as I'm not a doctor.

As for your farther I wish he would just support you as a farther should... what does your girlfriend say? Is being with her not enough to keep you going?

As for your dreams I'm not 100% what that is? And for the organization thing you are in is there not a different one you could go to in order to still suceed the same thing because they sound very nice or concerning about your condition. I hope things change because I wish you wouldn't wish to die

She's supporting me. But I still feel bad.

Most of my life, I was like my dad. Only caring about the "family" and critisizing anyone else. Then my friend came into my life, and he really taught me things.

All anyone cares about is going to university, and supporting this never ending cycle of corruption. I try my best, I give my bottles ect, to people who need it. I was gonna volunteer at the breadline or something, but then my friend moved away. We said we would do it together. And now I just don't have the will to do it.

I'm just trying to be a better person. By not contributing to norms, or to selfish traditions. But it's becoming very difficult. And now this happens. And I am very very angry. My dad won't even let me share food. "I work for it dur hur." we live in a corrupted monitary system. Where "property" is all that matters. How many things we have on our "property"

I'm really trying not to rant here. As it's my feelings and agenda. Not others. And most people don't care.