Crohn's Disease Support Group

I need help, people to talk too. I'm stressed out and don't know how to deal with it. My boyfriend has Crohn's Disease and it's really bad right now and I don't know how to handle it. It wasn't this bad when we first started dating and I love him so much I want to be with him forever.

He got offered a job because he was in the military and he's a fire fighter/paramedic so he decided to get off his medication (He couldn't get the job while on it). He wanted to take this job for me so that he could take care and provide for me. I told him not to do it. My father was also a fire fighter/paramedic so it's not like I'm expecting a big income; I don't know what he had to prove. We talked about it and he did it anyways. I feel like this is all my fault. He built up an immunity to his medication so it doesn't work any more. He visited the Mayo Clinic and they just want to run more test to confirm whats already happening. His docotor here says he should be in a hospital; His blood count is off, hes bleeding too much and not eating enough (no matter how hard I try to get him to eat) and nothing so far is working.

I don't want to break down in front of him because he doesn't need the extra stress. He doesn't know that I'm writing this. He wants me to be able to talk to him about things but I don't want him to worry about him self and me. He has been the best thing that has ever happend to me and I will stick by his side no matter what but I need some help along the way.

If any one can tlak to me please contact me.

Has he tried taking natural stuff like Maqui berry/Acai Berry or natural supplements or probiotics?Probiotics are the main thing you need with having crohns and they really help out alot.If he is low on blood I would suggest he ask his doctor for B12 shots and take iron pills daily.Wish you all best of luck

Your post made me join this site and comment. I have had crohns for 32 years. Long time...and lots of ups and downs. The most important thing I learned in a relationship is you need to communicate. You need to talk and discuss things with him. Tell him your concerns and let him know you are worried. Crohns is a disease that can impact people in many different ways. What you indicate he did doesnt sound like good choices for his health. Sometimes we do things because we are told we cant. Doesnt mean it makes sense.....but it happens. Regardless of what he is doing he needs to realize his health is your main concern. He also needs to be happy and realize that sometimes what we want to do can be restricted by the disease. Doesnt mean you wont get to where you want to in life but it may take some sideroads till you do. His concerns and yours need to be explained to each other. Talk to him and share your feelings. This may not be easy for him to talk about. It may not be what he wants to discuss but at the moment you need him to talk to.

Good Luck

Yes he takes probiotics and has done alot of research on natural ways to help. He does take iron every day, I don't know how much its helping but he takes them. As far as talking to him about everything I'm feeling I don't think I can do that right now with how bad hes feeling. I don't want more stress on him right now I just need to wait a little bit longer till his doctors can give him some answers.

Thanks for the replys.

Brentz has made excellent points. It is hard enough to achieve one's dreams w/o a chronic illness. Accepting that you have a chronic illness is not unlike going through the stages of grief - you grieve over what you planned and now have to make changes you weren't expecting to do. Maybe your boyfriend is still in an early stage of the acceptance process. Whatever he has to prove, it seems he may need to prove it to himself.

Feel free to come back and talk to us anytime. We are here for you.

Hugs, Cat

What a wonderful gift you are giving him...all your concern and love. Just being there for him is what really matters.

Blessings

Hey you, thanks for your post, my boyfriend also had crohnes and Ive been struggling with it too. I love him and intend to be with him for ever, but the pain he's in at the moment often makes it impossible to do things. I know this sounds selfish, but recently I've just got worn out with the thought it might always be like this. He has never been in remission since his diagnosis about 10 years ago. I get frustrated at how much it affects our lives. I know that sounds awful because its so selfish and cant begin to compare to how bad he feels.. I love him so much and hate seeing him in pain and so down. I just wish I knew a better way to deal with it. I cant tell him this because i know it would only upset him more. Until recently it wasnt really being addressed, he didnt take medication or see a specialist regularly as hes been traumatised by hospitals. I dont think he really accepted there was anything wrong. He has just moved to a new hospital and theyre starting from scratch so hoping theyll come up with something to at least alleviate the pain he can stick to,,

Disease can be destructive in a relationship. The trick is to not let it be. If you can make it something positive to bring you closer together, everything else will fall into place. He feels he must support you and do his very best, regardless of his health. If I ever learned anything from my Crohn's is to not underestimate the illness and not to over-estimate myself. By stopping his medication, he must realize that his health will decline to the point where he wont be able to do his job anymore anyways. If the job is necessary, then changing medication may be the answer instead of stopping it, if a doctor could figure out the best solution, it's a good idea to try especially if the medication isnt potent anymore for him.

My medication (mercaptopurine) just reduces the white blood cell count to reduce the activity of my immune system. The other medications I have consist of controlling acid levels, as well as binding bile so that it doesnt keep damaging my insides. Iron is vital, but it is difficult for the body to absorb and dangerous to have too much at once. Supplements should help but eating the right foods is essential. Also, vitamin b12 (or just b vitamins in general) are key to a healthy digestive system. B vitamins give energy and allow someone to focus more clearly. I used to take that as a supplement but now I prefer vitamin patches on the skin. It really does help and it allows the body to get it right into the bloodstream for immediate results.

Try talking to him about this. He must understand that his condition is a ticking time bomb and cannot be ignored or just put on hold for a job. I have a plan in my health coverage to provide me 70% of my salary if I'm disabled, and I do that for a reason. At anytime I may be too sick to work or need surgery so I'm prepared for the worse case scenario.

And if you're worried about stressing him out, that is understandable because I never like talking about this with my boyfriend because it just hurts so much, but it's important to address a problem as severe as this, because you'll be forced to at some point. It's just better sooner than later.