imhopeful
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Hi. I'm new here too. I first posted if there was any one with functional BPD. Maybe it sounded rude, but I feel the same way you do. I have not worked an outside job in seven years. I wondered how many can hold down a job effectively and how they do it. I am learning to be more gentle and judge myself less. So what I don't have an outside job. I HAVE been 'working' very hard on my personal healing(this is my full time job) and my swings are better managed. Counselors tease me that I'm geting my Doctorate as a client. I have seen an amazing improvement, in my overall attitude. I still experience depression/anxiety, mostly early a.m., and midnights, combined with additional health issues keep me from pursuing other interests.(For now.) This disease has separated me from enjoying alot of time with my family, but also helped me realize how dysfunc' my family really is. Looking from a distance helps me see how much better I am than years/months and even weeks of past. TMI?? I manage my swings by seeking, and being with others who understand and encourage me to grow. I have a great counselor who helps me reframe alot of the b.s. we learned as children, that, and our chemistry, I believe affects our moods today. One thing that has been helpful to me, is 'I got it, 'it' to me, being, I had no right to behave in a way that is violent to myself or another person, and no one has the right to treat me unkindly. Somehow this really helped me to begin to manage my mood. Walk away when I felt that flood of emotion overcome me. Excuse myself. Breathe deeply. Walk outside....Do anything that will bring you a sense of peace, if even for a moment. Baby Steps, Oh yea. I have started to journal again. And writing staements that start out as negative beliefs, and reframe them to a positive statement. I am finding this very helpful too. Support is great!! From many avenues. Whatever you feel is the best place for you to encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Meds, what a mystery. Do you have a good Doc that will work with you? I have found this to be very helpful too. Although I think that meds of course are so different for each of us. I think, for me, I will always be on some type of med, cause I don't think my brain makes much seratonin on its own. But I do believe that finding the right Doc can help you wake up a bit. And for me....counsel is a fundamental tool, I could not have lived without. I have been doing a technique with my counsel called EMDR, which is like moving through feelings without getting stuck, and redirecting damaging negative concepts and beliefs into positive. I know I am very wordy,  I hope this is helpful to you in some way. Prayer is powerful. I'll hold you in high thoughts and see your life becoming more awakened and manageable. Blessings to you. |
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