MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
12/20/2011 05:46 AM

My dad is dying of cirrhosis(page 5)

dmanflan
dmanflan  
Posts: 1734
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hey Karra!

Welcome to the group! As you read thru other people's posts, I think you will see that everyone has a little bit different experience with this horrible disease. As Bobbi said, "get ready for the ride". Learn as much as you can. Knowing what CAN happen makes it easier to react IF, or when, different symptoms and complications demonstrate. Knowledge is power, especially when dealing with emotions.

Grief, which is what I think you are experiencing with your father, is an important emotion! Nobody can ignore grief—it is how you deal with it that makes a difference. I wrote a post earlier this year about the stages (click this to see it) associated with cirrhosis. I like to go back and reread it from time-to-time to keep my own perspective.

Tish (Bsybee747) pointed out that you should get Dad to give permission to his docs to talk to you. Legally, you need to complete a HIPAA Release form for each healthcare provider that your father is seeing. Medical professionals cannot discuss a patient's information with anyone , including a spouse, without having a completed release form on file. He should also authorize his parents since they are his local support system. While we are on the subject of legal issues, everyone should consider completing “advanced care directives” and filing them as appropriate so that, if they become unable to make their own decisions, someone is able to carry out their wishes for healthcare and financial/legal matters. Check with your state for the proper forms—you don't necessarily need an attorney to complete them.

Keep coming back to this forum! We have a lot of great people here who have, been through or care for someone with this disease who really care about each other!!!

Dennis

PS: I forgot to mention that I think you are doing great with handling your father's situation! The best thing you can do is to be there for him!!!

Post edited by: dmanflan, at: 12/20/2011 05:51 AM

Reply

12/20/2011 06:33 PM
Bsybee747
Bsybee747  
Posts: 73
Member

Karra,

The emotions you're feeling are appropriate. There are no feelings that are inappropriate. Someone who hasn't experienced what your are going through just doesn't understand. I'm sure your husband wants you "to pull yourself together" because he doesn't know how to help you, or what he can do to make you feel better.

My dad didn't like to talk about being sick until the last month or so then it started talking about it slowly. Just let your dad know you're their if he wants to talk. For my dad he enjoyed hearing about every day life rather then us always talking about him. It's hard but you can do it.

I'm so glad you found this site. Come back often. You and your dad are in my prayers.

Tish


12/20/2011 06:58 PM
Bucksfan1
 
Posts: 38
Member

Tish is right!! Unless you have been thru this you truly have no idea the heartache it brings... My husband thinks I "dwell" on this...my mother spoke with him about how this was my dad I'm the only child we were together every day! He just doesn't like seeing me heartbroken... I never knew he was so bad till the month before he passed. He actually talked about kids Xmas gifts n just wasn't ready to go so that makes it even harder..this whole thing has blind sided me! I ordered my two boys a st.christopher charm engraved from dad and my daughter a necklace as well..I know he's smiling looking down, and the kids will be soo happy. We miss him so.. Karra if you need to talk message me and I wil give you my number. I feel your pain!

Praying for you,

Heather


12/24/2011 09:07 AM
Bucksfan1
 
Posts: 38
Member

To the ones battling this disease, to the ones grieving the loss of a loved one, and to all the survivors MERRY CHRISTMAS MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BE WITH US THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!!!

Love and prayers to all,

Heather


01/01/2012 10:38 PM
docj
Posts: 2
New Member

I've read all your post messages.i can feel all your pain. My father past away last dec. 20,2011. It was really painful for we never expected it to come at this early. He was just 54 years old. He had his annual medical check -up since its sop for his work. he was a seaman and still was under contract until he was sent to the hospital last 0ct. comatose for 3 days and had his ligation in japan and went home with us happily. he had his check up when he came here and the doctors says he doesnt have any sickness etc... until dec. 19,2011 he had this black discharges at 15mins. interval during lunch time until 10pm he started to vomit black colored blood. we brought him to the hospital but the doctors had him blood transfused in about 4am, he vomitted lots of blood already in the hospital but he was still conscious. after many injections, medicine injected into his hands he had cardiac arrest while he was asleep. the doctor revived him and informed my mom that they were trying to revive my dad and that he is already suffering from hypokalemia, gastrointestinal bleeding (esophageal varicoses ruptured) secondary to cirrhosis of the liver and kidney injury. he also had pneumonia etc... which his doctor did not notice from his check-up last dec.13,2011. we tried to awake him but we can see him suffering already. so, we started to talked to him "i hope he was still listening that time" that we just have to let him go for him not to suffer much. when he was declared expired. i'm still shocked. it was really painful for he was my best boyfriend, best dad, etc... we spend christmas without him and new year without him again but this time he's already dead... =(

01/02/2012 08:34 AM
Bsybee747
Bsybee747  
Posts: 73
Member

Docj, I'm sorry for your loss. From everything I have read, our experience with my dad and from people whom I have spoken with I'm sure your dad could hear you.

I know it doesn't seem like it now but sooner or later you will find the positives in his situation. An example would be that he didn't have to go through years of being sick and wondering if he would get better. Another would be that he wasn't alone. He knew he was loved.

I hope you find some comfort and understanding in the new year.

Big hugs,


01/02/2012 04:28 PM
mpmom
mpmom  
Posts: 3275
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

docj,

My heart breaks for you.It's never easy to let someone we love go. You and your family have my deepest sympathies.Welcome to our group. We're here for you even if you just need to vent.


01/07/2012 04:55 AM
docj
Posts: 2
New Member

Bsybee747 and mpmom,

thanks for the sympathy. reading all the messages made me feel strong knowing that i'm never alone. that we are almost the same but life must go on as they say. gosh! i miss him so much! =(

Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 5 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved