some questions about self-medicating

I'm new and so many of you may not know anything about me. My husband suffers from chronic pain, and I am here in hopes of obtaining a better understanding of what he goes through. I may never completely understand, but I'll never stop trying either.

Here are my questions:

Have any of you felt so desperate that you tried self-medicating in a way that you knew was unhealthy, dangerous, or both?

What, if anything, can loved ones do for an individual who's at that breaking point?

Do you feel that certain forms of self-medicating (illegal or otherwise) are actually beneficial?

I hope these questions don't sound crazy. I just need frank discussion with people who get it.

Thanks,

Effie

As far as the breaking point, I am there almost every day. I am in therapy and I get pain management also. And on antidepressants. Is your husband on them?

The main problem, ultimately, is that the pain pills serve only to "take the edge off", not to give him anything that could properly be called "relief". He's a very stoic individual, but he has days when it just gets unbearable, and the pain pills don't seem to do him any good at all. Sometimes he tries to kill it with alcohol, not to the point of staggering drunkenness and never around the kids, but still more than I'm entirely comfortable with. On a couple of occasions well-meaning people have suggested that he might try substances that are either shady or outright illegal to help on the really bad days. There have been days when he's gotten so desperate that he took their advice. It's a rare thing for him to get to that point. Like I said, he's very stoic.

Without getting into too many specifics, I recently discovered that he was infrequently experimenting with one of these "home remedies" without my knowledge. Putting the relationship issues this presents aside, I asked myself, "If it was me in constant, unrelenting pain, would I be able to resist the tempatation to experiment?" I can't say that I would. I also don't believe that pain is treated nearly as agressively as it ought to be, that people are expected to "just deal with it", that a doctor's ability to provide effective pain control options is crippled by paranoia related to drug therapy and unreasonable laws. Still, what he's doing is not being monitored by his doctor and may be illegal. I've got to think about the whole family, not just him.

As for antidepressants, no, he is not on them. I'm not even sure he can be on them given the nature of his head injury. I just don't know what to do to help him anymore. I wish I did. I really, really do, because he deserves better than this. We all do.

I will admit to some alcohol drinking occasionally when I have been having a lot more pain than usual, but I know when to stop and how much I can have.

I havent ever used any illegal substances to control my pain, so cant help you there.

What kind of specialist does he see? If he has an internist maybe he could describe all that is going on and maybe be able to take an antidepressant. When you have chronic pain you can really get depressed and you really dont realize it. Depression also increases body aches and pains too so that is a double whammy. I take mine religiously along with everything else.

Hope this helped a little.

He goes to an orthopedist and sees another doctor for his blood pressure meds. He was seeing a neurologist, but I don't think he gave her a fair chance before he stopped going. He also sees a chiropractor and a massage therapist.

He knows and admits that sometimes he gets depressed, but I think it's an ongoing thing, not something that comes and goes. He's just more aware of it at some times more than others. I wonder is a psychologist could help, someone he can unload on without feeling like he's making life more difficult for them...

One day at a time, huh?

I think maybe a psychologist would help. Maybe ask him if he might want to give it a try.

I see many different specialists also, and sometimes they disagree on what my treatment should be and what meds I should be taking. I take the ones I feel that will help ME. And I let them know that if they prescribe or mention anything I dont want to take I wont. My fibro doc wants me to go on Lyrica. But I do not want to mainly because of the weight gain side effect. I had already gained 30 pounds on Cymbalta, I certainly do not need more.

Just hang in there with your husband. Just being there and snuggling with him probably does more good than you think. Just the touch of another human is sometimes better than medication. I know when my husband will give me a light back massage, it makes me feel so much better. Even him just touching my arm before we go to sleep does it too.

And thank you for praying for me.!

Seeing a doctor specializing in pain control would be very beneficial. And if he is interested and it doesn't conflict with his treatment, there are "alternatives" that have been said to be useful for pain management (massage therapy, accupuncture, homeopathy, herbals, ...)

Good luck, try to be patient and supportive. I know when I hurt I'm not the nicest person.

hugs

jessi

6/9/06 - biopsy positive for cancer
6/23/06 - DIAGNOSIS: stage IV (T4d N2 M1) invasive ductile carcinoma NOS with bone and liver mets; 17 cm mass (primary tumors), inflammatory breast cancer(IBC); HER2/neu+, HR-
6/26/06-12/11/06 - Chemo FEC/Taxol w/Herceptin & Aredia
12/20/06 - right modified radical mastectomy, 7 of 13 removed nodes showed evidence of prior disease
12/21/06 - No Evidence of Disease (stage IV/NED); complete remission
2/6/07-3/22/07-Radiation 28+5 boost, 6040cGy.
CURRENT: Still NED, taking Herceptin and Zometa without end. Heart and kidney function remains normal.