Just plain tired!

You are not self-centered. You are just concerned, and that's okay!

Sounds like you're really, really, trying to be there for him. He must be so appreciative!

Working so many hours, and being there for him physically and emotionally will certainly take a strain on you. You're gonna just have to "make" time for you. I know it's hard, I really do. But you've got to! That's the only way you're gonna make it through the weeks. So put it on your calendar. Make it a weekly thing. Even if it's just an extremely long soak in the tub. Turn the radio up, pour in some bubbles, light a candle, and dream of a different place.

My hubby is the one taking care of me. He's a wonderful guy. I appreciate him SO much! And I "try" to make sure that he has time for himself. He doesn't like to take it, and part of it is the fact that he's a man. But, he just has to. Sometimes, it's even just a visit to his parents. But he 'has' to get away from the house, work, this crazy world- at least once a week. -I remind him that he's no good to anybody if he doesn't. He works 6 days a week, comes home and does laundry, cooking, sometimes some cleaning, takes me to the store, etc. The list never ends. I do take myself to my doctor's appts. Cause yeah- he would never be at work if he went with me all the time.

You WILL be okay. Just take it one day at a time. Don't fret about the past and don't worry about the future. What comes, will come, and there's no changing it.

Promise me though, that you WILL take time for yourself. Okay?!

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. I'm there with you!

Hubby and I had a fight about a week ago because he kept canceling "outings" with his friends because I didn't feel well. I told him to go out; but he knew he needed to be home to take care of the kids. In the meantime he was burned out and resenting me, not that he was "mad at me" for being sick just that he really needed time for him, he deserved time for him. I was feeling well enough that he went golfing yesterday; he was in much better spirits! Much more able to give me the support I needed.

When you have an acute ailment it's scary and you want someone there all the time. When it's chronic; you can't expect someone to be there constantly; its just too much! You need a team, they need to rotate; and they will get burned out! It becomes normal, and you get use to just doing stuff on your own.

Make sure you take time for yourself; you can't take care of hubby if you don't take care of yourself. You also need to take care of your relationship as well. So try to make a fun date night (once a month) that you guys do something fun that isn't about not feeling good.

Good luck, come and vent ask for advice or whatever. Chances are, one of us has been through it and can add some perspective!

hugs

jessi

6/9/06 - biopsy positive for cancer
6/23/06 - DIAGNOSIS: stage IV (T4d N2 M1) invasive ductile carcinoma NOS with bone and liver mets; 17 cm mass (primary tumors), inflammatory breast cancer(IBC); HER2/neu+, HR-
6/26/06-12/11/06 - Chemo FEC/Taxol w/Herceptin & Aredia
12/20/06 - right modified radical mastectomy, 7 of 13 removed nodes showed evidence of prior disease
12/21/06 - No Evidence of Disease (stage IV/NED); complete remission
2/6/07-3/22/07-Radiation 28+5 boost, 6040cGy.
CURRENT: Still NED, taking Herceptin and Zometa without end. Heart and kidney function remains normal.

imagin how our other half feels alot of times their fustration is that we can't be fixed ..I recently had to have test done on my thyroid(lump)when I first told my husband he seemed to not care and it hurt me till when he thought I was asleep and he would feel my throat it went on for weeks I didn't say anything to him ,he stopped doing this night checking when the all clear came in he still checks just not as often.I love him so