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05/10/2012 08:34 AM

bipolar daughter-in law wants custody

Posts: 1
New Member

I am very concerned about the safety of my 5 year old granddaughter. Her mother is bi-polar AND her 13 year old sister is bi-polar as well. The court just awarded her temporary custodial parent without even taking the severity of her illness into consideration. She's on total disability due to her condition. My son was the major moderating factor in his wife's life but he can't take the stress anymore. Banruptcy, car reposession, utility shut off. He had to file for divorce. We hired an atty but she was so ineffectual! What now?

05/11/2012 04:40 AM
redwoodPosts: 1120
Senior Member

Azgran - I feel for you - it's a long road. I can't imagine being bipolar is enough to have your granddaughter removed. There are so many people diagnosed with Bipolar right now and many are not severe enough for it to radically impact the well-being of a child. I am sure the behaviors that come out of untreated BP are your concern.

I just got my niece back after 5 years. It took time, patience, and a lot of tears. It also took documentation. It's a pain in the butt, however, write everything down. I know most people think, "But it's just my word". It is so much more powerful than you realize. This is how I got my niece last time. My journal of every crazy remark, phone call, irrational conversation, drunken behavior with dates and direct quotes when possible was what did it. Things you don't even realize might carry weight will, so really - write it all down.

Best of luck to you, it's stressful and all-consuming.


12/07/2012 08:40 PM
Posts: 1
New Member

I hear and feel your pain. My son is married to a woman who is bipolar and not taking meds. It pains me to see his stress and I worry about my grandchildren. It is a very complex story and I don't even know where to begin. My son is kind, gentle, intelligent,and successful in his career...I'm having a difficult time understanding how he got caught up in this relationship. I live hundreds of miles away and when I visit for a few days, I feel exhausted and stressed.

01/05/2013 01:00 PM
Posts: 4184
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

It is as should be, the court's ruling. The court knows that this mother

has mental illness b/c they know she is on disability and they also know

how much money she gets every month too. That is probably why the court

didn't look into it.

I am sorry your son is in so much pain, and I am sorry you are too. Money

issues are issues that can be worked out, people do it every day.

I am sorry your son can only see divorce as a sort of solution for this

problem. It will not be so in the long run. Things are just not that 'neat'.

Did I understand you right, you were the one who got an atty.??

Please I hope you let your son make all his decisions the way he wants things.

We mother in laws have to know when to let go of things that go on between

a husband and his wife, especially our adult children.

I am retired now. I haven't always been retired, but I have always

been bipolar I. It isn't just a mental illness, it is also a physical illness that will drop one to her knees! There is nothing

like it in this whole world. I have been so mentally ill, so psysically ill, I could write a book on all the endless symptoms..

Sounds like this mom abouve needs treatment and medication for the

long term, not a divorce. She can learn new behaviours. We all do.

Bipolar people can parent just as well if not even better. Mental

illness is not a reason to take a child away from its mother. Another

reason why the court probably didn't get into it.

Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate it very much.

Post edited by: Kelti, at: 01/05/2013 01:15 PM


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