Child Abuse Survivors Online Support Group

Hello I am 20 years old and for the first 16 years of my life I was abused by the one person I thought I could always count on the one persone you would never think you ever hurt you, it was my mom. I have endured physical, mental, and emotional abuse since I was very young. It all starts from stories of people who seen her push me down the steps in my walker to using night quil to put me and my brothers to sleep because she didnt want to deal with us. My brothers got lucky she gave my older brother to his grandma and my little one to his dad (we all have diffrent dads). I was the only one she couldnt get rid completely I was always dropped off at one of her friends or a uncle or cousins house not knowing when she would come back or if I would ever see her again. That went on until I was old enough to stay home by myself but thats when things really started to get bad she would call me fat, ugly, stupid, worthless,and say no one would ever love me or care about me everyone will just use me im always going to be unwanted. She would always beat me up once in walmart parking lot because I was a kid and said something she didnt like she was punching me pulling my hair telling me to get out of her F*****g car I was a piece of trash. And another time she was just made and pulled over on the side of the road and did the samething. She even beat me up and busted a tooth loose because I couldnt find her cell phone charger. And another time she got so mad the got me on the ground and started kicking me as hard as she could. I thought about throwing her down the steps but I didnt I just took it. I always somehow had respect not to hit her back or touch her. But the worst part was when she got mad because I didnt do the dishes she came after me with a knife and stabbed me in the leg. I really go scared after that I tried to avoid being home at all and if I was I made sure it was when she was out with one of her many boyfriends. One night after bouncing around from apartment to apartment she got one above a bar and started bringing creppy guys home and they had to go through my room to go to the bathroom I became very uncomfortable and I told her she told me to get the hell out of her house so I did. After awhile I got a pfa against her for 3 years but a month before I had my daughter it exspired. While I was enjoying the best days of my life she shows up and gives my boyfriends family papers saying that there was no proof of abuse and saying that I was a lying little bitch and that she would get visitation rights of my daughter luckly for me there are no grandparent rights in PA. To this day I resent her and fear her every time I go somewhere im always looking over my shoulder. I also suffer from post tramatic stress disoreded. I really need some support its so hard to deal with.

Hey, nelsonp...thank you for being brave and trusting enough to share your story. You will find many people here who'll give you the support you need, including me. I can relate to a lot of what you went through, including PTSD, so if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to hit me up!

I agree with Charliehorse, I was so lucky to be taken out of my home when I was six or so because I almost died. Semms like a suffer a bit less than those who had to put up with all of the abuse and neglect for years and years.

It doesn't minimize what you went through, but I'm glad you were rescued when you were, barelymanic. I was in and out of my so-called mother's house from age 8 or 9 until 16, when my dad (technically my stepdad, but I don't acknowledge the "step") got emergency custody of me. I did a good job - TOO good, which made it a bad thing - of covering up what was going on with Mommie Dearest, so I don't fault him for having no clue. (Long, long story!) It makes me sad and angry to hear of any child being abused, no matter the degree of abuse.

Hang in there, nelsonp (and everyone else!). Growing beyond what happened to us can be a long and rocky road, but our past doesn't have to define our present or dictate our future.