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05/11/2011 03:33 AM

how to confront my abusive father

contessa197
 
Posts: 2
New Member

I know my dad is abusing me. I also know he's an alcoholic, and he does some drugs. My parents got separated 2 years ago and he verbally and sometimes physically abused her. He is now verbally abusing me and I'm worried it will get to the point of physical, as he almost has in the past and it scared me badly. I've tried leaving the house for a while, but then he abuses my brother, and I am extremely protective of him. I can no longer deal with and listen to his constant berating of me and threatening, I am afraid for myself and my brother. How do I change this? Can I talk to him? And what can I say? Thanks in advance if anyone can help, it really means a lot.
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05/13/2011 12:44 AM
tonyaraz
tonyaraz  
Posts: 738
Member

With someone like that, I don't think talking to them is going to help. Infact it may make him lash out. How old is your brother? Perhaps seeking help from child protective services may be the answer if he is a minor. I am not a big believer in cps, but they may be able to get him removed into your mothers custody or another family member.

05/13/2011 06:25 PM
donna_89
 
Posts: 186
Member

Hi, I agree with what Tonya says.... I'm also not a big fan/believer in CPS, but they do have their strengths in some areas. How old are you and how old is your brother? Do you have any family that would be an available place for the two of you?

05/31/2011 12:12 PM
contessa197
 
Posts: 2
New Member

im 17, and hes 15. i wish we did, but our family is all on my dads side. and ive thought about contacting cps, but i am way too protective of my brother if they try to separate us.

06/09/2011 08:35 AM
Irishangel88
Irishangel88  
Posts: 4941
VIP Member

What's more important though......staying together or staying safe?

06/09/2011 11:04 AM
katiesworld
Posts: 108
Member

Hey Contessa197,

What your father is doing to you and your brother is wrong. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Try explaining to him how you feel and let him know that if he doesn't stop you will call cps or tell someone. I would recommend that you bring someone with you when you talk to him about this. Maybe an aunt, or a teacher or guidance councellor at school? Don't let him get away with hurting you. Because one day it will get worse. He is not going to stop if you don't do something about it. I know this can be scary but what's even scarier is being in hospital or dead because of your father. So please Contesse197 tell someone, anyone, and help your brother and yourself. I believe in you. Remember that taking abuse without crying isn't strong. Defeating your abuser is. Don't give up.

Also, I would recommend calling a crisis line and let them help you. That's what I did when my dad was abusing me. I told the crisis worker what was happening and she got me through to children's services and offered me support with that.

As someone who survived abuse I know how hard this must be for you. But telling about my dad was the best thing i have ever done for my family. we've gone through 5 years of therapy since then and we are now actually all living together again. I've also lived in foster homes and a group home. I know there are lots of stories out there about how horrible these places are, but they aren't all bad places.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Katie

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