Celiac Disease Support Group

10 Pizza causes cancer.

(Maybe not really, but it could for a celiac!)

9 Pizza makes me crazy--like, psychotic crazy. Did you ever see that movie Gremlins?...

(Chemical imbalance and depression from malabsorption = pretty crazy!)

8 I have celiac's disease. Don't worry, it's not contagious. What is Celiac's disease, you ask? It's called Wikipedia. Find it. (OR) Do I look like Google to you?

7 I have celiac's disease. It's highly contagious, so you might want to back off.

(LOL).

6 Coeliac disease (pronounced /ˈsiːli.æk/; spelled celiac disease in North America[1]) is an autoimmune disorder of the small intestine that occurs in genetically predisposed people of all ages from middle infancy on up. Symptoms include chronic diarrhoea, failure to thrive (in children), and fatigue, but these may be absent, and symptoms in other organ systems have been described. A growing portion of diagnoses are being made in asymptomatic persons as a result of increased screening...Hey! Where're you going?

(Try to sound intellectual with this one).

5 I'm so glad you asked! This is a 50 page essay I wrote about 'why'. Here's a pen, check for spelling, if you don't mind...Hey! Where're you going?

4 Pizza is evil.

(At least when I eat it).

3 It's been poisoned. (With gluten. But you don't have to mention that if you don't want to).

2 I'm from the planet Zorton.

(Let them use their imagination to deduce why that has anything to do with pizza...It's more fun that way).

AND the # 1 answer to "Why don't you eat pizza" is:

Pizza? I hate pizza! Pizza makes me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...and they locked me in a cellar with pizza. Pizza?! I hate pizza!! Pizza makes me crazy! Crazy??? I was crazy once...and they locked me in a cellar with pizza! PIZZA??!! (loop = infinity).

And if all else fails, have a T-shirt printed up explaining all about Celiacs disease. List all three hundred possible symptoms in small print on the back.

Post edited by: LaMich, at: 09/15/2009 03:43 PM

Have you ever thought about writing a book? Sounds like you be a good author.

Donna

I wonder what they want me say. I think the world is becoming more educated. But it will be a relief when it's more common for people to understand.

LaurieK, I feel like I turn into the incredible Hulk if I eat that one bite of cake... Not the cool green skin and super strength, just the highly unstable emotions and quick temper--and I do seem to grow in size.

Post edited by: LaMich, at: 09/17/2009 01:55 PM

It's not pretty.

LOL!!! I usually ask, "Do you think you REALLY want to know?" If they say yes, I hit them with the awesome descriptions of diarrhea and gas (well, that is, if they have annoyed me and/or don't believe in Celiac Disease - if they don't believe me, I get more graphic than if they do and are honestly being somewhat sympathetic). LOL!

And I tend to only tell my DOCTOR that I hallucinate when I've had gluten, though it is true. But most people already think I'm nuts...why TRY?! I do so well, effortlessly!

My poor friends KNOW when I've been glutened because they are the ones getting me to and staying with me through the Emergency Room visit, my crying about how doctors don't care and don't listen and just send me home anyways because they want me to die....(perhaps a little over-dramatic, but at those moments you wouldn't be able to convince me of that), making meals for me to eat while I recover for a few months (it does take months!), etc.

So if I have friends who are close and understand and will do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING they can to be sure they don't gluten me (I THANK GOD FOR MY FRIENDS!!!), then I let the few people who don't understand that I am NOT being any more ANAL about that gluten-filled CRUMB than I absolutely MUST be...just slide. I mean, I'm blessed to have friends who get it. The folks who don't...well...they are just going to have to take their offendedness or their "you're an anal hypochondriac" attitude and put it somewhere because I'm not going to bother getting upset and giving myself diarrhea over it! Ha ha ha!

Anyways, that's my take. Makes me laugh.

Low and tide us, if we do not react.

Jennywren

Post edited by: jennywren, at: 06/23/2010 04:58 PM

By lunch time, I was making a mad dash to the restroom, not sure if I would make it in time.

Now, I get a burning sensation in my esophagus and the opioid effect pretty much right away. But it used to take several hours for me to have 'results'.