Caregivers Support Group

Hi everyone. Its been a while since I was online...I just wanted to update everyone about dad. You may remember but about a month ago we have to take dad's key away which caused a huge melt down. He ended up being sent to a mental hospital for about a week. There they diagnosed him with mid-level dementia. Since his release I have had to hire two people to come in and help out. I have also started checking out assisted living units in our area. The cost of these places are incredible...over $4000 a month. I have found out that there is a VA assistance program that not many people know about and that the government doesn't advertise. They can help pay for in-home help and/or assisted living. I have started sending in paperwork...I believe it is open to spouses of veterans as well. They must have served at least 90 days and at least one day of war duty. It has been a huge relief to have some help and I think Dad is enjoying the company. It has been a major adjustment for dad and we have had to have many hard discussions since his release. If I can pass on any information about the VA assistance that might help lighten YOUr load, let me know.

Lena, thanks for your post and I just wanted to tell you how commendable your actions are. Various age related dementias are so devastating. I work as a caregiver in an Alzheimer's assisted living home, and indeed all the men there get VA assistance or they wouldn't be able to afford it. I didn't know such a program existed either until I noticed one day that literally all the male residents (and one female) were veterans and asked a co-worker about it. I also want to tell you how great it is you got a caregivers involved. So long as they are good caregivers (honest, competent and compassionate), this will significantly lighten your load and give your father both company and assistance with daily living activities so he can have good quality of life for as long as possible. I hope your dad can stay at home with caregivers for as long as possible because even the nicest homes with "wander safe," secure dementia units, are not really that nice (this from someone who has seen the inner workings of these places). Also, I noticed simply the act of changing from a familiar setting to an assisted living home, seems emotionally and physically devastating to Alzheimer's victims. But it is still so hard to cope with even with some good help though. Everyday I can punch out and go home, but sometimes I do literally feel like weeping from stress and just from the sadness of seeing this terrible disease inaction. While I get to go home at the end of the day, I know that for all you who care for a loved one at home, you are literally on-site or on call 24/7. Prayers and good wishes to you and your dad Lena.

i am so glad that you are beginning to see the light.

if you dad can get into assisted living, with the va help, i hope it will be an answer to a prayer. he may actually love it. as you said there will be company, and they do a lot of activities, to keep him busy.

thanks or the update. keep us informed.

God bless,

joyce