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03/18/2012 09:15 AM

Husband is in hospice care....

Posts: 1
New Member

Hi, I found this site and am really hoping it helps me get through difficult days (like today). My husband is the love of my life. We met in Sept. of 2001, got married in July of 2002, then he was diagnosed with rectal cancer in August of 2002. He won that battle, but is now dying due to the treatment from it...and CHF, and Diabetes. I am his main caregiver, and the hospice nurse, social worker come once a week. He is on morphine and oxycontin for pain...which means he is pretty much out of it most of the time. I feel so alone although my daughter lives very close, she has a family and works full time, so is very busy. He has 4 grown boys (men) but only 1 of them is of any help, and really only if he isn't busy with his girlfriend. 2 are in denial. The other one is useless. I cannot talk to anybody really. I get angry, then sad, then numb...,just going through the motions. Some days I find myself asking God to just take him already....enough of this suffering! But then I feel guilty for even thinking that. Any advice or even acknowledgement would be helpful. Thank you.

03/18/2012 09:29 AM
Posts: 807
Senior Member

don't feel guilty.

i lost my husband, the love of my life, my soul mate, 23 yrs ago, to cancer. i still love and miss him.

what you are feeling is normal. i also went thru all the emotions, and also the physical exhaustion.

the only advice i can offer you is to keep on keeping what you can do, show him all the love you have, and let him talk to you about anything he wants to.

although you feel you are ready, nobody is ever reallyy ready to lose someone they love.

looking back....i have no regrets. i did everything i possibly could.

as much as i loved, and still love him, i would not want him back in the pain he was in.

God bless,


03/19/2012 04:38 AM
janicepvPosts: 3264
Senior Member

my husb. is not in hospice yet but i ask God every day to take him before he suffers any more. Every day.

04/26/2012 11:45 AM
Posts: 1487
Group Leader

I am so sorry for your situation. My husband is not yet in hospice but I too, almost wished he were. He is in constant pain and people think because he was just diagnosed, it can't be but so bad. Also, He has no desire to go back into a hospital ever again, even if it can save his life. It's exhausting but I know it's what he wants and trying to keep him as comfortable as possible is my only real goal. Everyone says to take care of yourself...thus far the only time I leave the house is for a grocery or drug store run.



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