Caregivers Support Group

I'm new to this group-noticed it from another forum. I am the caregiver for my husband. One of my challenges is having to deal with his negative mentality most all the time. It really shows at his many hospital visits. It's very frustrating for me when he feels no one (doctors and nurses) can do anything right for him.

He's a recovering alcoholic and addict. Clean from alcohol for 2 1/2 yrs, but his illness has made it easy for him to abuse the pain meds again. I know at times he has played the boy who cried wolf - going to the ER when he's out of pain meds--so now it's hard for me to tell the difference - and I feel guilty and angry if I have less than favorable feelings towards him.

We have put counseling on hold due to his illness and finances. I feel like a bull at the rodeo in the holding pen with years of stuff packed on my back--waiting for my release of freedom to buck it all off and begin our healing process. When I try to encourage him to think more positively, he gets mad and says "you are not feeling the way I feel". He was on Lexapro - but went off it. Depression and negativity is hard to deal with at times. I know this is alot to lay on in the first post. If anyone has any advise it would be much appreciated. Thanks for listening.

The first hing you need to do is to take over control of his meds. He won't like it, and you may need to get his doctor on board with it. You may have to buy a safe to store them in. THis way he will not run out. My wife is on heavy pain meds, and I finally had to do this.

Second talk to his doctor about his moods, and the fact he went off his med. you will always get the you don't know what I am dealing with from him. tust be me been there done that, and I will be going back again. You can say and you don't knowwhat it is like to see things from my chair.

Good luck!!! If you need a friend, hit me up.

Jim

The biggest challenge is not being able to change their situation. He so helpless and despite the angry behavior during HE episodes, I know he does not mean it. Sure it hurts, but for the pain he's in, I can deal with it. Watching him waste away is killing me. If I did not have this site, and my faith in Jesus Christ, I would not be able to be an effective care giver.

My challenge is my husband forgets he's sick. He decides he can go out and work in the yard or do some re-wiring in his work-shed. He did it a few nights ago and almost passed out and I told him if something happens I won't know it! And getting up to do his, what I call, weights and measures - we have to take his blood pressure and heart rate and weight every morning and he takes his meds then, gets to be a struggle. He argues that he didn't sleep and he just doesn't want to do it. I have to remind him we agreed on this time and to read his note. He's been good the last few days. When he sees I get upset he goes out of his way to ease up on the pressure to me. But then something happens and we start all over again.

Our frustration is the waiting. The doctor wants him to keep his own liver as long as possible, we all do, but we want to process to start. We want the doctors to go away. Seeing a doctor every month is expensive and overwhelming!

Boy, did I babble....sorry.... I get going and sometimes it comes out. Ya'll are all I have to talk to cause family doesn't understand and explaining it just confuses them more.....

I'm going to shut up now!

God Bless Ya'll!