Caregivers Support Group

Post your biggest caregiving challenge and let's see if we can't brainstorm together and come up with some ideas to help each other overcome those major challenges

Right now my biggest caregiving challenge is helping my husband be a great dad to our 6 yr old. It is either his meds or the progression of the MS, but he just sits on the couch & sleeps most of the day, ignores our son, wants nothing to do with our son or just zones out. I know it sounds like I am complaining, but I just want my son to have great memories when he looks back on his childhood.

Cathy

That is difficult Cathy. When we have worries or pain or illness we lose the ability to look outwards and think of others. All you can do is explain to your son

Tony

Do you have a Big Brother program in your area? Or is there another male in your family that could/would be a role model/mentor for your son?

I don't think you're complaining at all. You have a very valid concern regarding how your husband's illness is affecting your young child. Sending you a ((((hug))))

There is a gentleman in my church who has offered to hang out with my son when he can to help him out. I have looked into Big Brother, but it is tough finding someone who understands what my son is going through with a dad who has MS. I guess I am being kind of picky, but I want to make sure that my son has someone that he can talk to about his dad's MS who actually understands what he is dealing with. Thanks for the hug Bkwrm!

Don't feel as though you should be apologetic for wanting what's best for your son. I applaud your caution...someone who didn't understand could potentially (and, I sure, quite unintentionally) compound the situation.

Do you think your pastor could help? Sometimes they know of resources that can be really beneficial. Maybe he could even personally suggest someone in the church, or from an outside group or organization, that would be the perfect mentor for your son. I'll keep thinking..lol

The gentleman who is going to be helping my son is the associate pastor of my church. He knows the situation of my family - even if he doesn't fully understand what my hubby is fully going through. I am just thankful that someone is helping with my son becuase he is having way to many issues with all that my hubby is going though. He is starting to act out at school & at home.

Awesome!! I hope the mentoring proves to be extremely successful.

I'll say a prayer for you and your family. ~~~huge hug~~~

one of my biggest challenges is trying to be understanding to my father when he thinks he knows everything....it's so annoying. he thinks he's always right and the conversations never end until he says so. i know he's bored and i try to make suggestions but he just doesn't budge! he is the most stubborn man i've met on the face of this earth!!!!!! now it's growing season here in NY. he like to plant veggies. so we buy them as plants and he just lets them die. do i water them? he says he will. he doesn't. do i plant them? he says he will do it later. later never comes and they are dead so we have to go get more plants for him to get around to planting. i want to help, but he doesn't want it. he's 86 and his mind can be sharp as a tack, but his body is falling apart with arthritis and old people problems.....it's really hard.....

Wow, that's a hard one Luella. So many times parents don't think they need help from their "children". Always the parent and the one in charge. Sometimes one has to just be sneaky about getting things done. Like for example, water the plants when he is not around to see, maybe even plant them when he is asleep, etc. When you are having a conversation just go along with him let him say his thing, unless it is something that would be harmful, even if you know that he is wrong. Unless it is something that could cause harm latter, what's the harm in keeping down a dissagreement at the present?

I know you are in a tough place. Hang in there.

LYW