Bulimia Nervosa Support Group

Ok so I know I haven't been on a lot in the last couple days and I promise I will try to catch up on everyone. So, I am bipolar and I have been extremely manic for about a week which is odd for me because I am a rapid cycler and should have had my down and be going back up again. Well the mania has caused me to not be able to sleep, gotten my nerves tore up and basically I can't concentrate long enough to even make dinner. So where I have been bouncing around I haven't been able to stomach food. I haven't even had a meals worth of food in 3-4 days but have been taking in liquids pretty well. My nerves have caused me to start throwing up yesterday among other unpleasantries. The kicker is that I am hyperglacemic. I have't had problems for a while and the doctors had said that it seemed I had grown out of it as I got older. Well last night I exerted myself a bit around the house and found myself in a bit of sugar shock last night. It is so funny because I was thinking that over the last couple years of my bulimia I had managed to avoid any problems then here in recovery it comes back. I should have taken better care but you guys all know that when you are sick throwing up and not inducing it it can be terribly hard to eat. I feel certain that I must have lost at least a couple pounds and though I am cycling down towards depression I can't help but to in the back of my mind be proud of my weight loss. But on the same side I am kicking myself in the ass for even allowing those feelings to brew. Funny how things happen, huh?

I always feel accomplished for any amount of weightloss. It makes me feel proud eventhough I try to excuse it by saying I am just trying to be healthy. I lie to myself and people like that all the time. I know how you feel. sometimes I am happy to be sick just because I know i won't want to eat much. I hope you feel better because you don't need to feel that way. you need to get better and losing weight is not necessarily making things better physically, it's making distortions worse in your head. I've been there and still go there often.

Yeah I seem to fade back and forth but after a bit of weight gain from meds I found a big head about myself for having lost the weight so easily. That's why I post here. It keeps me grounded! Glad to know I am not alone with those feelings, thanks!

Isn't that amazing. I remember feeling so powerful over losing weight and being skinny. It's an incredible disease the way it works on our minds and society rewards us for our insanity by telling us we look great. That's pure evil at work and it makes me mad.

Pixie I hope you feel better soon! It is weird how just losing a few pounds feels so good. Every time I get super busy or we go on a trip I always lose some weight and it just feels fabulous, even after all these years. We're just going to have to get to work on the media thing so jebsmom doesn't get to mad! HAHAHA!!

Grrrr, let me at em! Teehee. Yeah putting that anger to work on the website would help alot!!