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08/22/2011 04:19 AM

I want to stop...I want to Stop STOP STOP!!

Scubarubes
 
Posts: 9
New Member

Hi There,

I am so sick of this!! I want to stop it! I want to wake up tomorrow and have breakfast and go for a run and go to work without having to think about when and how I can eat and then purge and I just want to feel clean and wholesome without having to feel dirty and yuk for doing this but I can't seem to stop.

I want to be normal.

I want to stop.

I am done with this.

I am terrified that after everything I have done to my body that I will never ever be able to have children. How do you tell a man that?

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08/22/2011 04:29 AM
Lonelygirl83
Lonelygirl83  
Posts: 440
Member

I wish it was that easy ): bulimia is a chronic disease that we can control, but the thoughts will always be there. Are you in therapy? It does help. As for infertility..that's something I worry about too

08/22/2011 04:32 AM
Scubarubes
 
Posts: 9
New Member

It just becomes a bad habit...I have started to think that if I was able to get into the habit and just look at it as a 'bad habit' that maybe I can develop new habits and get into those instead.

I have had blood tests and my hormone levels are normal, but that was a year ago and who knows what can happen in that time. I am too scared to tell a guy - hey guess what can't make babies cos I threw up too much!


08/22/2011 10:33 AM
mem4809

I know lots of bulimic women who have children--it did not interfere, but they slowed down their symptoms when pregnant and even made them go away for quite a while.

08/28/2011 08:15 AM
Boomerang
 
Posts: 8
New Member

Do you have a therapist? I went through the same thing over and over until I got someone who understood who could help me start working through my destructive behaviors.

I so understand the frustrating cycle of trying to assert willpower over ED. Our bodies have amazing abilities to recover so don't despair just yet.

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