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07/06/2011 07:16 AM

Struggling

Lonelygirl83
Lonelygirl83  
Posts: 440
Member

I've been bingeing and purging a lot..gained four pounds after losing three. I'm frustrated that i'm eating so much. Exercising too..but not hours like I should so I won't gain weight. Just to curl ino a ball and cry, but I can't . Eat instead ):
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07/06/2011 08:40 AM
mem4809

Sad Sorry things are so rough. Has school finished now? Do you have extra time on your hands? That always makes things worse for me. You were likely working out tooooo much before, but I know when I B/P it is hard to work out too. Hang in there!

07/06/2011 10:25 AM
Lonelygirl83
Lonelygirl83  
Posts: 440
Member

I ended up not taking summer classes due to ED and my own stupidity. I really should suck it up, tell mom and do inpatient, because now I'm about to cry as I buy binge food and yet I still do it everyday.

07/06/2011 10:37 AM
mem4809

I've been there. I fully understand. The power the ED has over us, at times, makes us feel like victims of our mind and body. What is keeping you from inpatient now with a cleared up schedule? I am awful with free time--I just B/P like crazy too--even when I don't want to or don't emotionally feel that I need to.

07/06/2011 05:54 PM
b1234
b1234Posts: 128
Member

Lonely girl I feel your pain Sad. Why does food have to be so controlling? It's so hard sometimes to stay strong ALL the time. I feel like I am constantly trying to defend myself from ED and sometimes it just gets to be too much.

07/07/2011 02:19 AM
rlt
rlt  
Posts: 921
Member

I agree with you about inpaitient, because Now would be the perfect time....Use this perfect opportunity to get the assistance you needSmile I sooo know how you feel about the food and weight. My exercise routine has changed and I feel huge(like usual) but this time the scale is up 6 pounds and my shorts are tight uggggg. What do I do to fight this??? I eat like there is no tomorrow and purge. When are we going to realize this doesn't work?????????

07/07/2011 04:05 AM
Lonelygirl83
Lonelygirl83  
Posts: 440
Member

I know! You would think we'd stop since bulimia DOES cause weight gain, but I know in my mind (and probably many others) I just think oh I have to exercise more to make up for it.

07/07/2011 04:44 AM
mem4809

I love exercise and feel awful when I don't do it (on my planned workout days) but I have always found that it's the number of calories that I eat that are more important in weight maintenance. But while for many of us it starts out as a weight thing, it almost always is due to underlying emotional issues.

07/07/2011 05:39 PM
Lonelygirl83
Lonelygirl83  
Posts: 440
Member

I powerwalked two miles today I feel kind of better, but VERY unhappy with my weight.. To the point of crying hysterically over it, which I know is NOT normal. I may not be 170 anymore, but I feel it and see it. I also didn't purge today but ate horribly. It's like I have noooooo self control :/

07/07/2011 07:56 PM
rlt
rlt  
Posts: 921
Member

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I too disgust myself! I have been feeling huge and want to eat right but totally have no control!!! All we can do is try again tomorrowSmile
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