okay, so i'm new to this group. and i have to say, i dont really know the reason that i'm joining this. i mean, i have joined several groups to ask about eating disorders and stuffs before, but this is the first time that i'm actually admitting that i'm talkin about myself here.
if i dont get it wrong, i experienced my first purging was about one and a half year ago at the very least. there were several purging but it really was only when i did overeating (at least i'm sure that it was overeating). and the overtime, the purging started to get more intense, but still very very rare. by january-february 2011, i started to make this diet program. i exercise regularly and i monitored my food intake. my goal was "less than 1200 calories of food a day". the exercise didnt really go on, it was more on the food monitoring. and it totally works. i went from 55kg into 48kg in 2-3 months. mid april, i've gone easier with myself for the diet, cause i have reached 47kg. i still lose some weight though, i reached 45kg (that's my current weight. my height's 151cm). i purged every 2 or 3 days, but not massive amount of "purgee". my food intake was considerably normal if we compare it with my program before. since 2 or 3 weeks ago. i started to buy some foods that i forbid myself to take and ate them, and then purge . i thought it will only occurs for several days but it doesnt. it gets so much more intense. even worse, the amount of foods that i bought gets bigger. it happens (i think) about 4 days for every week. so that's what i've been doing until today. i even just did it this morning!
I used to think that i only have the tendencies of being bulimic. but these weeks just made me realize that, I AM BULIMIC. so here's the thing. i still think that i could manage this disorder myself. that actually is the reason why i signed up into this group. i want to make a diary of my disorder. i will start to control myself, and then i will write it down in here whether i make it or break it. if i dont make it, then it means that i do need to get some help. and if i make it?! yaaaaay.. do you agree with me guys?
I have 2 physical problems:
1. menstruation
i've been losing my menstruation period since about february. turns out that the problem was because the circulation of blood in my ovaries are not good, so i couldnt form any egg to ovulate and the structure of both my ovaries are not good either. the doctor called it "spider web-like". it is curable, the treatment program consost of 3 steps. there was one point my mom asked the doctor if it is because of any diet -my mom notice my lost of weights but she doesnt know the bulimic thing- the doctor immediately said no it's not. but the doc said that when this case occurs in regular couples, these couples have got to immediately have children when the treatment is done, you know, that's for the best. but me! i'm only 18! the doc were actually kinda joking when he told me that, but still.... any of you guys know whether this ovaries problem could go back or anything even if i had completed the treatment?
2. colon
since about 2-3 years ago i have noticed that i have this abdomen problem. always thought it was hemorrhoid, but turns out that it was actually polyp. colon polyp are mostly harmless. only little percentage of it that could turn into cancer. but i still need to have this surgery to get rid of the polyp, and after the surgery the polyp will be tested to find out whether it is dangerous or not. it's just that, i just know that bulimics (heavy bulimics though, i guess) are very risky of getting a cancer colon. so yeah... you know why i'm a bit concern.
pfffffff.... it's been a very very loooong story isnt it? i know guys, i know. haha. dont wory, its done. 
thank you guys for reading this. hope we could share!
xoxoxo
Joey
Post edited by: seeker04, at: 05/20/2011 03:36 AM
