Bulimia Nervosa Support Group

So I'm not the best at realizing when I need taken care of. Obviously, or I wouldn't have to struggle so hard to stay "recovered." I've been lapsing a bit on my meal plan... not TOO much but enough that I thought it was worth mentioning to my therapist. She played this card with me today:

"Let's say you had a three year old. Would it be okay with you to let her miss a few meals?" (No.) "Would it force her to do strenuous physical activity despite the fact that it's raining and she has a cold?" (No.) "How about telling her that she can't have feelings and that she has to keep everything inside and never cry?" (No.)

"New rule," she said, "Treat yourself like you would a three year old for the next week and tell me how it goes.

So far today, I bought a pack of chewing gum instead of a pack of cigarettes. I went to the dr's today to get antibiotics for this massive cold I have. I ate chicken soup when I got home, and took a nap instead of forcing myself to clean the house "like a good wife should." I'm feeling like I'm an unproductive bump on a log who spends too much money at dr's office and on prescriptions. I'm not sure if this is how I'm supposed to feel, but I doubt it. Hopefully this little experiment will bear some good fruit by the end of the week. I don't want to go back and tell her I'm mad at her for making me waste a week of my time...

I feel she is making a valid point. We should treat ourselves the way we would treat a three year old. I once read an activity in an ED book that said to find a picture of yourself from when you were a baby and look at it everytime you feel the urge to b/p. THe idea is that by looking at the picture we should get the feeling that we do not want to hurt the innocent little baby. What your therapist is asking you to do reminds me of this activity.

I understand the point of it, sort of. I'm just used to pushing myself. In fact, that's what's helped me in recovery the most... I "compete" with my ED, to see who wins. I push myself to be "the best" at recovery. I do all the assignments she gives me 110% and jump right in to explore all those crappy feelings no one wants to have. So to NOT push myself is foreign. It feels unproductive. Useless. Like I'm not trying hard enough. Does that make sense at all?

Nina, I don't think that treating yourself like a "3 year old" has to be thought of as not pushing yourself. I think this is just a different way of competing with your ED. The ED wants you to neglect yourself, to skip the meal, to push through the run on a rainy day, to vacuum when you're feeling exhausted. However, the person taking care of you (you), the person treating you like someone who needs nurturing (you) is fighting with the ED, saying "No, Nina, not today. Today you deserve to be treated like a 3-yr old because you deserve a break, you deserve nurturing." I don't think that you should feel as if you're being "unproductive" simply because you're not on a go, go, go schedule. In fact, by letting yourself rest up and eat well, you'll be more productive in the long run. Know what I mean?

I totally love this exercise, how perfect for us all. We tend to nurture everyone else and put ourselves last. I am going to give it a try